Teacher's Pet Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Tomorrow night, by the request (ok, demand) of one of my close friends..... I'm going out tomorrow night to a club where my ex will ALMOST certainly be. It's been almost 5 months since my breakup, and it's been about that long in NC. I am TERRIFIED of running into her. I'm not afraid (though I am ashamed) to admit it. My lovely FW (Ariawoman) again, has rightly pointed out that I shouldn't avoid being with my friends because I feel as if I have to "hide" from my ex. It's counterproductive to all the friendships I've devoted the last 5 months to making. Fortunately, I'd be going with ALL women tomorrow night, apparently. I guess that's a self-esteem booster in itself, plus my friend who is organizing this shindig has a friend she wants me to "meet"....... oh boy!!! All I have to do is not run into my ex, or go to the bar, since her cousin bartends there. Well, cousin as of like a month ago, since she just married into the family. I'm sure a full report will be made. I have to stop being afraid of living my life for fear of running into her. But then I think about it. Who the hell is she to dictate my life? She had her chance when we almost got married! It's taken me all week, but I've decided I AM going. If I run into her, it'll be the ONLY time it will "hurt" to see her. If I don't run into her, I'll have a fun night with between 3-5 women, one of whom I may end up making out with. Either way, there will be a full report on Loveshack. Pray for me...... I really think I need some positive thoughts here..... I talk a good game on here at times, but deep down.... I need just as much (maybe more at times) support like everyone else. I love you guys..... you guys keep me strong. -tp nervous as hell Link to post Share on other sites
SurvivingHB Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 TP, have fun and enjoy yourself. Ex is history now, so keep you chin up and go wild even if you see her. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 You're going because I threatened you lol. You'll have fun, and even in the unlikely occasion that she IS there, at least you get that dreaded "first time" over with and then can live your life in peace. I meant what I said earler. It's definitely counterproductive to make yourself sit at home online (with me lol) when you could be out with friends that are begging you to hang with them. They haven't seen you since "the pee incident" and well, they more than likely miss you. You shouldn't neglect them because of the "what ifs". And in the event she's there, well you'll deal with that, and you'll come post here. And then you'll probably kick the sh*t out of me for telling you to go. But that's ok, because I might be short, but I'm fiesty. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 10, 2006 Author Share Posted November 10, 2006 You're going because I threatened you lol. Very true. You'll have fun, and even in the unlikely occasion that she IS there, at least you get that dreaded "first time" over with and then can live your life in peace. First time is always the hardest. In a lot of things. I meant what I said earler. It's definitely counterproductive to make yourself sit at home online (with me lol) when you could be out with friends that are begging you to hang with them. They haven't seen you since "the pee incident" and well, they more than likely miss you. You shouldn't neglect them because of the "what ifs". This is true. It's been a while since the "pee incident", and she asked me to "hang". I think that's a great sign in itself. Though I admit...if I have to sit home online, there's no one I'd rather do it with. :) And in the event she's there, well you'll deal with that, and you'll come post here. And then you'll probably kick the sh*t out of me for telling you to go. But that's ok, because I might be short, but I'm fiesty. I'd never kick the sh*t outta you. Though I think I could take you in a fight. You are something else, FW. -tp scared umm...pee-less? Link to post Share on other sites
climbergirl Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Tomorrow night, by the request (ok, demand) of one of my close friends..... I'm going out tomorrow night to a club where my ex will ALMOST certainly be. It's been almost 5 months since my breakup, and it's been about that long in NC. I am TERRIFIED of running into her. I'm not afraid (though I am ashamed) to admit it. My lovely FW (Ariawoman) again, has rightly pointed out that I shouldn't avoid being with my friends because I feel as if I have to "hide" from my ex. It's counterproductive to all the friendships I've devoted the last 5 months to making. Fortunately, I'd be going with ALL women tomorrow night, apparently. I guess that's a self-esteem booster in itself, plus my friend who is organizing this shindig has a friend she wants me to "meet"....... oh boy!!! All I have to do is not run into my ex, or go to the bar, since her cousin bartends there. Well, cousin as of like a month ago, since she just married into the family. I'm sure a full report will be made. I have to stop being afraid of living my life for fear of running into her. But then I think about it. Who the hell is she to dictate my life? She had her chance when we almost got married! It's taken me all week, but I've decided I AM going. If I run into her, it'll be the ONLY time it will "hurt" to see her. If I don't run into her, I'll have a fun night with between 3-5 women, one of whom I may end up making out with. Either way, there will be a full report on Loveshack. Pray for me...... I really think I need some positive thoughts here..... I talk a good game on here at times, but deep down.... I need just as much (maybe more at times) support like everyone else. I love you guys..... you guys keep me strong. -tp nervous as hell Given you'll have a 'harem', there couldn't be a better time to run into your ex. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 You'll do fine .Just relax . Oh and good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Hi TP, Good luck! Now, this may seem kinda new age or hippy or whatever (I don't have any patchouli on) but it helps me sometimes to imagine ahead of time what might happen and picture myself reacting like I would want to. So if you could see in your minds eye, yourself coming into the pool hall with all your friends and smiling etc, and then see her and just give her a wave or headnod and then not looking at her again the whole night and playing awesome pool...then it will happen that way. Waiting for the results... Link to post Share on other sites
BannaBee57 Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 TP, you are stronger than me right now I just turned down an invite to go to a really great Christmas party (free booze and all) with my friend because I'm afraid the ex will be there. It's a work party and he works with my friend so he most assuredly will make an appearance. I'm just not ready to see him yet (if ever). Go have fun...let her see what she's missing! ~Breanna Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 10, 2006 Share Posted November 10, 2006 Fortunately' date=' I'd be going with ALL women tomorrow night, apparently.[/quote'] I really don't recommend being "friends" with women but if you must then at least utilize them fully. Tell one of the chicks who is unattached (a good looking one) to be all over you like white on rice if the ex appears. Just to make the ex jelous. Most women will go along with this for funs sake. And it will make you look less like a goody goody in their eyes. Who knows you may get laid. I love you guys..... you guys keep me strong. yes we know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 Go have fun...let her see what she's missing! What she's missing.... heh. The way I feel right now? She aint missing much. -tp just a mess. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 I really don't recommend being "friends" with women but if you must then at least utilize them fully. Tell one of the chicks who is unattached (a good looking one) to be all over you like white on rice if the ex appears. Just to make the ex jelous. Most women will go along with this for funs sake. And it will make you look less like a goody goody in their eyes. Who knows you may get laid. That's sorta the plan... lol My friend who invited me is very cute. And she told me she has a friend she'd "like me to meet"..... A hookup. Just what I need, when I'm going to be at my worst tonight. Hopefully, I'll keep it in my pants long enough (ehh...find the old post yourself) to not look foolish this time.... -tp making sure he goes potty before he leaves, this time Link to post Share on other sites
Author Teacher's Pet Posted November 11, 2006 Author Share Posted November 11, 2006 I survived. She wasn't there. I wound up still having a miserable time with my friends, even though one of them was trying all night to set me up with one of her girlfriends. I even wound up having to drive that girl home at about 2am, and afterwards, I got lost, and magically found myself about 4 blocks from my ex's place. Go figure. I was just not interested. She's a very nice and sweet girl. Not exactly my "type", but a nice person regardless. Right now, part of me is still saying my "type" is a 33yr old bisexual high school teacher/track coach. So, of course, the rational and sensible person I am, I drove by her place. What the hell, right? 2 cars in her driveway. I cried the entire way home. I am so utterly hopeless. -tp Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I was just not interested. She's a very nice and sweet girl. Not exactly my "type"' date=' but a nice person regardless. [/quote'] um, let me guess...she was unattractive? I cried the entire way home. don't shed tears over any woman...it's not worth it. now if your mom dies that a different story. Link to post Share on other sites
LaughMachine Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Teachers pet, well It's a good thing you didn't run in too her. But if she is at the same local spots you like to go to, than It's bound to happen sometime. Your not hopless, psh I've drove by the ex's house...only once though and I didn't cry. I screamed out the window hahaha jk Well so far you have been strong, because you've had too. And give it another 5 months for you to be feeling better. In 5 months you'll be more your self, You'll go out without having to dwelll on some of the past. I'm not just saying this because I'm young. The begining part of my break up, I didn't go out at all. People had to drag me out. I think sometimes you really do just gotta camp out at home. Nothing hurts more than pretending to be happy when your not. Especially when everysong you hear can easily trigger that dark spot. 5 months is still the time of remembering, and hurting. Things don't really stop hurting until new things arive. And the reason for that is the new things tick you off so much that you don't even have time to think about the ex. haha. Link to post Share on other sites
LaughMachine Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 um, let me guess...she was unattractive? don't shed tears over any woman...it's not worth it. now if your mom dies that a different story. Sometimes it is worth it. Getting out your tears is emotional release. And sometimes there is no escaping or stopping the tears from coming. Things might not be worth it, but you gotta cry:) And if you do happen to cry, think about all the girls who are crying over that stupid pathetic guy. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelso Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Happened to me too last night. Went to a club - it was a 50/50 chance she would be there. Three seconds after I stepped through the doorway I saw her sitting there with her friends. I walked on pretending I didn't see them, went straight to the dancefloor with me friend and we found some girls to dance with. Few minutes later my ex and her friends came to the dancefloor. I just politely said hello, how's it going and didn't talk more to them that evening. Kept is casual, trying to make her jelous and make her see that I'm over her (which I'm most certainly not). I was looking at her all night (secretly) and I also noticed that she, and one of her friends were looking at me as well. My friends...who knows my plan bought me a beer as I was the winner Mission 1 accomplished and it feels good although it was hard seeing her and even harder seeing some other guys hitting on her constantly Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Ahh TP, I'm getting tears in my eyes knowing how much that must have hurt you to see the two cars and how much you still are hurting. Me too. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 Ahh TP, I'm getting tears in my eyes knowing how much that must have hurt you to see the two cars it was TP's choice to drive by...its a self-imposed emotional flogging that I cannot justify. Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I can't justify it either, but he did it and it made him cry and I've done it before and been in the same place. It's like being on a diet and knowing there are some chocolates... Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I survived. She wasn't there. I wound up still having a miserable time with my friends, even though one of them was trying all night to set me up with one of her girlfriends. I even wound up having to drive that girl home at about 2am, and afterwards, I got lost, and magically found myself about 4 blocks from my ex's place. Go figure. I was just not interested. She's a very nice and sweet girl. Not exactly my "type", but a nice person regardless. Right now, part of me is still saying my "type" is a 33yr old bisexual high school teacher/track coach. So, of course, the rational and sensible person I am, I drove by her place. What the hell, right? 2 cars in her driveway. I cried the entire way home. I am so utterly hopeless. -tp TP, you do this, it hurts, and you learn to not do it again. Just another step in the road. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 TP, you do this, it hurts, and you learn to not do it again. Just another step in the road. KM why don't you just tell him to be a man and suck it up?? or maybe you can't be that direct and open. where are your female communication skills? Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 KM why don't you just tell him to be a man and suck it up?? or maybe you can't be that direct and open. where are your female communication skills? Alpha, is it so bad to be a bit compassionate? Silly male. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Alpha, is it so bad to be a bit compassionate? Silly male. no, there is no room for compassion here after TP did what he did. it was just plain dumb. you should feel compassion for the poor, the sick and the dying....not for people who shoot themselves in the foot. Link to post Share on other sites
KittenMoon Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 no, there is no room for compassion here after TP did what he did. it was just plain dumb. you should feel compassion for the poor, the sick and the dying....not for people who shoot themselves in the foot. Emotion make us make irrational decisions, but our emotions are part of being human, so no one should be crucified for making an emotion decision that doesn't hurt anyone but themselves. It must be nice to be able to shut off your emotions, alpha, but not everyone can be like that. A little compassion won't hurt you, and if you can't find it, ignoring that which you find stupid also works. Link to post Share on other sites
AriaIncognito Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 I'm with KittenMoon on this one. Not all of us are able to just do all the right things. Sometimes, we have set backs. Sometimes we make the wrong decision . Humans are fallable, even you. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
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