A ring for Christmas????

[ishethe1]

So I am head over heels in love with this man I have been seeing a little over a year. We spend all of our free time together and the times we are apart we call/text each other with "I miss you feelings." I have divorced once and him two times. We both have children from our first marriage, his teenagers, and mine are 5 and 9 years old. We are 12 years apart in age. Our arguments have been few and easily resolved. I think he may ask me to marry him for Christmas and just want to know what others might think. WHen he asked me what I wanted for Christmas I told him it wouldn't be right to tell him what I wanted and told him if he thought about it long and hard he would figure out what it was.

 

He has been telling me for the past couple of months that he has my Christmas present and I have also noticed he has complained about not having much money lately. A week ago we again brought up Christmas and I asked for a hint. He told me that if he gave me a hint I would guess what it was and to stop asking him because he was not good at keeping secrets. He also said we need to find you a beautiful outfit for Christmas dinner. He also said just a few nights ago that he knew what I wanted for Christmas. Well if you haven't figured out what I want it is an engagement ring and I am praying that is what he got me. What do you think is going to be under the tree for me this year?

[Walk]

In my experience, men are pretty dense.

 

I think you're going to be very dissappointed in your gift. And I think you'll be doing both of you a favor if you don't count on getting a ring.

 

I can see it now.. your bf has spent months trying to figure out what to get you for christmas. He's asked you and not gotten much of a response... he thinks back to all the conversations and he remembers you telling him about that really great (insert object here) one time... so he saves up his cash, and he buys it for you. Spends hours wrapping it in layers of tape and brightly colored bows. He's intensely proud of being able to get you something you really want. So happy with himself that he bought you something he KNOWS you'll love.

 

You unwrap it carefully.. anticipation eating you up inside.... and out falls.... a plain neckless with a bitty diamond on it.

 

You're crushed. You're sad, dissappointed, unhappy. The rest of the day drags on until you can barely stand it anymore. Your bf keeps asking you "What's wrong?" You tell him "Nothing", yet he can't even get you to chuckle at his lamest jokes........... He's heart broken because he thinks you hate his gift. The one he spent hours searching for. He thought it was the perfect gift, something you'd love and you'd be happy. And instead, you're upset, and he feels like you hate it, and he doesn't understand why.

 

All because you two aren't communicating. If you have your heart set on an engagment ring, then you should tell him that upfront. Otherwise, don't expect to get something you couldn't communicate you wanted. Either talk to him, or assume you aren't getting an engagment ring. But you're setting yourself up for a huge let down if you think he's thinking exactly what you are. That rarely occurs. Even for couples who have been together for years.

[Wantingtogetitright]

exactly what I was going to say. As an example it may be that you jokingly said one day Oh I'd love a decent lawnmower hinting that you'd likehim to mow your lawns for you and ey presto you get a top of the range mower or a years worth of service from a mowing company and he is dead chuffed with himself that he took notice of a hint you dropped!

 

May be a bad example but you get my drift?

 

I hope your fairytale comes true for you but don't pin all yur hopes on it if you haven't had the full conversation and he knows for certain you want a ring.

 

Just remember an engagement is about a lifelong commitment to each other and the ring is purely an outward "object" of that. The commitment to each other is so much more important.

[norajane]

exactly what I was going to say. As an example it may be that you jokingly said one day Oh I'd love a decent lawnmower hinting that you'd likehim to mow your lawns for you and ey presto you get a top of the range mower or a years worth of service from a mowing company and he is dead chuffed with himself that he took notice of a hint you dropped!

 

 

That's exactly how I ended up with my super-duper space age inter-galactic coffee maker that can land airplanes and calculate the square root of pi...

[Wantingtogetitright]

That's exactly how I ended up with my super-duper space age inter-galactic coffee maker that can land airplanes and calculate the square root of pi...

 

but does it cook chickens!!

[norajane]

but does it cook chickens!!

 

It might, I still haven't made it all the way through the operating manual...

[allina]

 

I can see it now.. your bf has spent months trying to figure out what to get you for christmas. He's asked you and not gotten much of a response... he thinks back to all the conversations and he remembers you telling him about that really great (insert object here) one time... so he saves up his cash, and he buys it for you. Spends hours wrapping it in layers of tape and brightly colored bows. He's intensely proud of being able to get you something you really want. So happy with himself that he bought you something he KNOWS you'll love.

 

You unwrap it carefully.. anticipation eating you up inside.... and out falls.... a plain neckless with a bitty diamond on it.

 

You're crushed. You're sad, dissappointed, unhappy. The rest of the day drags on until you can barely stand it anymore. Your bf keeps asking you "What's wrong?" You tell him "Nothing", yet he can't even get you to chuckle at his lamest jokes........... He's heart broken because he thinks you hate his gift. The one he spent hours searching for. He thought it was the perfect gift, something you'd love and you'd be happy. And instead, you're upset, and he feels like you hate it, and he doesn't understand why.

 

 

Hmmm, I don't know, maybe not in this situation. Though your description of what could happen seems very probable I sort of see things from the OP's point of view. Judging by what the guy has been saying think the chance of it being the ring is pretty good, or maybe I'm in Lala land.

[Walk]

Hmmm, I don't know, maybe not in this situation. Though your description of what could happen seems very probable I sort of see things from the OP's point of view. Judging by what the guy has been saying think the chance of it being the ring is pretty good, or maybe I'm in Lala land.

 

I'm not saying it's not possible or probable. I think the OP would be in the best position to determine that. She knows her bf best. But all I can think is "What if she doesn't get it?" If she goes into it thinking it's going to happen and it doesn't??? I dont' think the word disappointed would even touch the level of feeling she'd have that day. And it sounded like this will be their first christmas together... That's kind of a special time, and I would hate to see it tarnished because she had set her mind on getting that proposal.

 

I think she'd be better off going into it knowing she'd like the engagment ring, but assuming she's getting the riding lawn mower that can calculate the square root of pi. That way the special day of christmas isn't ruined if she doesn't get the proposal. And if she does, then she can scream and faint and bounce off the walls.

[blind_otter]

Hahaha, I told my SO what I wanted for christmas. Yeah, I want a big fat honking ring, but he still has to keep asking me to marry him for another 8 years. I told him if he was still around by 2015 I might consider it.

[amaysngrace]

I confess, I want a ring for Christmas too.

 

But I don't think I'm getting one.

 

 

 

That's okay though, I already got two so far....

[Guest]

In my experience, men are pretty dense.

 

I think you're going to be very dissappointed in your gift. And I think you'll be doing both of you a favor if you don't count on getting a ring.

 

I can see it now.. your bf has spent months trying to figure out what to get you for christmas. He's asked you and not gotten much of a response... he thinks back to all the conversations and he remembers you telling him about that really great (insert object here) one time... so he saves up his cash, and he buys it for you. Spends hours wrapping it in layers of tape and brightly colored bows. He's intensely proud of being able to get you something you really want. So happy with himself that he bought you something he KNOWS you'll love.

 

You unwrap it carefully.. anticipation eating you up inside.... and out falls.... a plain neckless with a bitty diamond on it.

 

You're crushed. You're sad, dissappointed, unhappy. The rest of the day drags on until you can barely stand it anymore. Your bf keeps asking you "What's wrong?" You tell him "Nothing", yet he can't even get you to chuckle at his lamest jokes........... He's heart broken because he thinks you hate his gift. The one he spent hours searching for. He thought it was the perfect gift, something you'd love and you'd be happy. And instead, you're upset, and he feels like you hate it, and he doesn't understand why.

 

All because you two aren't communicating. If you have your heart set on an engagment ring, then you should tell him that upfront. Otherwise, don't expect to get something you couldn't communicate you wanted. Either talk to him, or assume you aren't getting an engagment ring. But you're setting yourself up for a huge let down if you think he's thinking exactly what you are. That rarely occurs. Even for couples who have been together for years.

 

Yes I do agree with you, disappointment does not even describe the feeling I would have if he did not ask me. I can just see it now, possibly all dressed up in some wonderful outfit at dinner waiting for that wonderful engagement ring and a magical proposal.But opening something else that he thinks I might want.

 

I would probanly not be able to control the tears. Another bit of info I don't think I posted was about a fortune I got when I was out to dinner with him, it said "You will soon find contentment." Later that evening we were talking about contentment and how you know you've found it. Well one of my replies was, "what did you get me for Christmas?" Do you think that maybe sent a message. But who knows you may be right, maybe I am getting a necklace.

[IpAncA]

Are you sure what you want and what he THINKS you want are the same thing? I would say you probably have a 50/50 chance. Has he mentioned anything about a ring or anything that might hint it besides the dress? Please don't get upset if you don't get one for Christmas.

 

I've learned that the hard way although my H is VERY good at keeping secrets and gifts from me. I can never guess what he gets but he can usually guess what I get him. Go fig on that.

[Mythical]

Awwwww i think you will get one He wants you to wear a nice dress soo maybe!!

I think you should hope for the best!

 

I want a ring too. When my boy asks.I say a shopping spree or spa package.he says "don't youwant something that means a lot and that will remind you of us":love:

[Guest]

Awwwww i think you will get one He wants you to wear a nice dress soo maybe!!

I think you should hope for the best!

 

I want a ring too. When my boy asks.I say a shopping spree or spa package.he says "don't youwant something that means a lot and that will remind you of us":love:

 

I have decided to plan on the lawnmower or necklace. But more replies would be great. I have know this man for alot longer than we have been together and he knows me well. I am almost positive he knows what I want. I would hope the word contentment would be enough for him to figure it out. We had a converstion about it that day. I really think the only thing now is seeing whether he is readyto give it to me. I am hoping I can hold my composure either way, but it will be difficult.