Guest Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I am recently separated, basically divorced really - at least that's what I think she feels. It came as a 'bit' of a shock to me at least.. so of course I'm crushed, I always want to phone her now, talk to her, email her, etc., etc., etc. basically a big baby! I just feel she doesn't want any contact with me, at all! I know I hurt her and there is a reason she is leaving me (drinker) I am incredibly sorry for what I've become to her - Should I just let it go, and think maybe she will contact me sometime in the future? maybe be friends? I feel lost. help? I know we won't ever get back together, but I just want her as a friend, is that too hard to ask? thx. Link to post Share on other sites
anna13 Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 seperation does not always mean a divorce. like someone else said in a post it is more of a time out . has she told you she wants a divorce? are you an alcoholic ? or do you just drink too much once in a while with friends and get into trouble? either way , just give her some time and she will call you or you can call her . maybe a week or so . meanwhile if you think your drinking is out of control get some help for it such as counceling ect. your wife will see that you are trying to fix the issue and that might help your relationship with your wife and if anything youwill be helping yourself too. you both married each other because you loved something about the other person . so I don't think that a friendship is out of the question IF your marriage is over. but I do not know the specifics of your relationship. but for now give her time and then call her and just talk to her calmly and ask about how she feels . take it one step at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I always want to phone her now, talk to her, email her, etc., etc., etc. basically a big baby! This is the hardest part specially since you didn't see it coming. Trust me you need to give her some space and don't call because she won't listen and it will just push her farther away, as someone said on the board before she has been planning this for a long time so it wasn't just that day she moved out. They need there time to think just like you need your time to think. In a book I am reading it used alcohol as an example; alcohol is your choice to do which is fine, but it isn't her choice so her choice is to move out or except what you are doing and live with it and she made her choice. How do you know you won't ever get back together, that is looking into the future which you can't do, that is an assumption. If you feel you have a problem and if "YOU" feel you want to change it then that is "YOUR" choice and then after that you can see what happens. You are in control of your behavior and what you can do. Get a sign up name, join the group and start reading and learning. You will be surprised at what happens when you start looking at yourself closer I really have. GOOD LUCK Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 This is the hardest part specially since you didn't see it coming. Trust me you need to give her some space and don't call because she won't listen and it will just push her farther away, as someone said on the board before she has been planning this for a long time so it wasn't just that day she moved out. They need there time to think just like you need your time to think. In a book I am reading it used alcohol as an example; alcohol is your choice to do which is fine, but it isn't her choice so her choice is to move out or except what you are doing and live with it and she made her choice. How do you know you won't ever get back together, that is looking into the future which you can't do, that is an assumption. If you feel you have a problem and if "YOU" feel you want to change it then that is "YOUR" choice and then after that you can see what happens. You are in control of your behavior and what you can do. Get a sign up name, join the group and start reading and learning. You will be surprised at what happens when you start looking at yourself closer I really have. GOOD LUCK Hi Guest... BTW....Good post PW... This is a perfect example of listening... learning and self reflection.. As PW said... get on board.. because what you are now on ..is a little small boat in some rough seas.... The storm is coming ... so learn to wear your life preserver (this forum)... As many on here can testify too... You search and find LS... now the hard part begins... read other's posts... read the replys... See how people have come on here.. without a clue.... then you can see... for many.... they start to get it..... You can see a change in attitude... in strength and understanding... It is quite encouraging... I for one can testify to this fact.... I was a mess... when I first posted on here.. I lurked as a guest for about 2 months... then got a nick.. started posting.... (best thing I ever did) Its also not just about you on here either... as you read others posts... you could see ...(A) Thank God I don't have it as bad as that person... (B) oHHH...i get it....boy did I f*ck up ... © If I look at myself who do I see.. (D).. Geez did I not have a clue about relationships... (E) If I don't love myself... how can I expect anyone else to love me.... And the list could go on... Posting on here can become an awakining.... If you have the guts.. and will power... you can make a difference with yourself.... So... what are yah waiting for... get cracking.. and post some more Link to post Share on other sites
chadnickole Posted November 11, 2006 Share Posted November 11, 2006 I am recently separated, basically divorced really - at least that's what I think she feels. It came as a 'bit' of a shock to me at least.. so of course I'm crushed, I always want to phone her now, talk to her, email her, etc., etc., etc. basically a big baby! I just feel she doesn't want any contact with me, at all! I know I hurt her and there is a reason she is leaving me (drinker) I am incredibly sorry for what I've become to her - Should I just let it go, and think maybe she will contact me sometime in the future? maybe be friends? I feel lost. help? I know we won't ever get back together, but I just want her as a friend, is that too hard to ask? thx. Will she ever contact you again? Yes she will, but do not do what I've done and continue to pester , bother , beg, cry , plead and everything else that screams to her that you can't change, that all you can see is how badly you want her back. Listen to every one on here, I came here a complete mess, now just a litttle mess. My wife is divorcing me and I cannot change her mind, but if, Did you here Me!!! If..... she can see me changing for the better than she may change her mind, If she doesn't change her mind and go's threw with the D, well I'll be one hell of a catch for some other woman!!! Hey thats what Gunny told me!! Keep your head up, Show her love just don't be pushy.. Please Don't make my mistakes and shove her to the other side of the fence!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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