Premarriage

[Sabrina]

Hello. I dont know if this is normal or what but. Me and my fiance are doing the long distance thing and are planning a wedding for this fall. I have been a little stressed with plans but nothing to bad. Plus I will be leaving home to be with him and that makes me nervous. anyway. I miss him so bad. and Im grouchy and he seems grouchy to. Hoping its just us both missing each other making us grouchy , When we talk by phone there seems to be nothing to say. I just went to see him 2 weeks ago. and since I got back its so different to have to talk to him by phone again and its no fun. I just dont want to talk to him. Like why bother I cant see him for another 4 months anyway. He is in the service and that is why. But is this frustration normal. being grouchy to each other and stressed because we miss each other and are tired of being away from each other. This long distance thing has lasted a year already , so we havent really had a long time spent together.

IM just worried something is wrong in our relationship. I dont think it is but what if that is it. Am i just nervous about the wedding and moving and also missing him at the same time. I do want to marry him. so its not that i dont love him that way I just feel somthing is missing or dieing.

[Ed]

How long have you two known each other?

 

How long were you together as a couple before he went to the service?

 

This all could be prenuptial anxiety, but if you haven't spent a great deal of time together, it could be a sign that this isn't the guy for you or this isn't the right time for you to get married.

 

You said you would be moving when you get married. That is a big step. Do you work now? What will you do in this new town? Work? Go to school? You will need to have something to occupy your time while he is at work or off to some foriegn country for long periods of time doing his work.

 

You need to establish yourself, have some goals and an identity other than being someone's wife. It may not be the right time for you to get married. You have to decide this for yourself. Think about yourself, where you want to go and what you want to do with your life.

[velvet]

It just depends on how often you question if you want to get married. I dont know how a long distance r/s works. I think I would go insane without being close to my man for long periods of time.

 

How long have you two been together? You must know him well enough to get married. I hope! Relationships are not perfect. But to rather be safe than sorry ask why he wants to marry you, and you ask yourself the same. Than there you have your answer.

 

Congrats!

[Tony T]

I think you ought to put your wedding plans on hold for now. You need to spend a lot more time in his proximity and see if he's really the guy for you.

 

No, this silence and stress is not normal for a lady who is about to marry the love of her life. There's something going on here and you don't give enough information for me to see just what but you really don't sound like two people who are eager to spend the rest of your lives with each other.

 

Very often, relationships between people who live a distance apart are experienced in the mind. Since the person is not right there with you most of the time, the mind conjurs up experiences for the couple to have. This takes the form of daydreaming, just thinking about the two of you together, etc. This is total fantasy with no basis in fact.

 

I think you are making a major mistake unless you make plans to move where he is and spend some months together dating and having fun together to see if perhaps you have grown apart. Two people can grow in very different directions when they aren't together for a while.

 

I do hope this works out...but it's best to find out what the chances are BEFORE you take the plunge.