Meeting someone randomly...

[Loserdude]

Okay, again, I think a female opinion here would be better - but not essential. I recently attended an Auction in NYC . While there I made repeated eye contact with a very pretty woman. She was alone, I was not so it would not have been appropriate for me to start chatting her up. (Before you yell, this date was casual and there's no reason for me to not date other women too). So anyway, out of respect for my date I did not talk to this woman but I could tell she was interested. When she left, she looked back and smiled.

Well, I was able to get her name by glancing on her registry - there on the desk out in the open. I Googled her and she is an actress, and has a page on IMDB. I could theoretically contact her agency and send a note introducing myself but this strikes me as really inappropriate given the somewhat unpermitted way I learned her identity. Unless she was only flirting, she would definitely remember me and probably at least meet me for coffee or a drink.

 

Do I write the note or just let it go?

 

(even if everyone says go for it, I may still not so as not to put anyone at the auction house in jeopardy)

[Touche]

That last part is just an excuse. You can just say that someone there knew her name or something. I don't see how it would get someone in trouble at the auction house even if you told her that you glanced at the registry.

 

And YES, my advice is to contact her. You have nothing to lose and you'd be surprised how many attractive women have trouble getting dates. A lot of men are just too intimadated to even try. Don't be one of those. She sounds like she was obviuously interested. So yes, I say go for it!

[Loserdude]

That's cool. But the last part is really not an excuse. I am just being overly cautious - thinking in worst-case-scenario terms.

 

Regarding the intimidation thing - I was not at all intimidated. I was being respectful of my date. I think it's rude when men (and I guess women too), let their attentions stray visibly. I was being somewhat discrete so eye contact was all that was made. The funny thing is that often women are more available like this when I am with someone. Other times, when alone, it seems that women are afraid to make the eye contact sometimes...

[Touche]

I didn't say you were intimidated. I said don't be intimidated and NOT contact her. And don't be overly cautious either. You have to sometimes take little risks in life to get what you want.

 

And as to the last part, yes I've noticed that in my life too. I would have NO dates for months and then I'd get asked out after I met someone. That's the way it goes sometimes.

 

So are you going to contact her?

[Green]

if you werent that into your casual date you should have just hit on her you probably missed your window of oportunity but hey it couldnt hurt to give it one last try by contacting her agency or what ever...

[Touche]

if you werent that into your casual date you should have just hit on her you probably missed your window of oportunity but hey it couldnt hurt to give it one last try by contacting her agency or what ever...

 

That would have been rude to his date though. He was being a gentleman.

[Green]

he could have lied and said he thinks thats his friend from HS sister and he wanted to go say hi and quickly

[Loserdude]

That would have been rude to his date though. He was being a gentleman.

Thanks for noticing. Unless the date is total chaos (and I've been there), I don't think it's appropriate to be hitting on other women. I think at a minimum when one agrees to go on a date, one has given a commitment to pay attention to the person one is with for the duration. It's only fair.

[Loserdude]

he could have lied and said he thinks thats his friend from HS sister and he wanted to go say hi and quickly

 

I think what you're saying is that I could have made up a story for my date as an excuse to go talk to this woman? Yeah right. First of all, I am not a liar or a 'playah' and even if I were, I could see that backfiring in a huge way.

[Loserdude]

I didn't say you were intimidated. I said don't be intimidated and NOT contact her. And don't be overly cautious either. You have to sometimes take little risks in life to get what you want.

 

And as to the last part, yes I've noticed that in my life too. I would have NO dates for months and then I'd get asked out after I met someone. That's the way it goes sometimes.

 

So are you going to contact her?

I see. I may contact her. She was definitely special. But does it pass the Seinfeld - you need a good story test?

 

And when I say actress, she's in a few movies (not porn!!) And we for sure have something in common (the subject of the auction)

[Green]

that wouldnt make you a liar or a player. the truth is you shouldnt have been flirting with girls and looking for vibes while you were out on ur date but you were. So what ever you did and what ever happened gave you the feeling some girl was into you and you were with another girl who you claim not to have been interested in and who you wernt in a relationship with it wouldnt make you a player to go get that other girl then, as far as manners go it would be ultimatly rude to hit on another girl infront of this girl who you wernt interested in but were out on a date with any way but once u had done all the across the room flirting and figured the girl was into you, you should have figured some secret way to get the rest of the mission acomplished. I say u havnt got an ice cubes chance in hell at this point but go ahead and call her agent and try to meet this auction girl who will probably not remember the guy with the girlfriend who was flirting with her.

[Loserdude]

that wouldnt make you a liar or a player. the truth is you shouldnt have been flirting with girls and looking for vibes while you were out on ur date but you were. So what ever you did and what ever happened gave you the feeling some girl was into you and you were with another girl who you claim not to have been interested in and who you wernt in a relationship with it wouldnt make you a player to go get that other girl then, as far as manners go it would be ultimatly rude to hit on another girl infront of this girl who you wernt interested in but were out on a date with any way but once u had done all the across the room flirting and figured the girl was into you, you should have figured some secret way to get the rest of the mission acomplished. I say u havnt got an ice cubes chance in hell at this point but go ahead and call her agent and try to meet this auction girl who will probably not remember the guy with the girlfriend who was flirting with her.

 

Wait a second - telling someone that this is someone from HS (High School) - a total fabrication is not a lie? What? No one was flirting or "looking for vibes" It was eye contact. She initiated it and I did not look away. And as she left, she made it a point to look at me and smile in my direction. THe whole thing lasted maybe 5 minutes. Frankly I was a little stunned because again, this woman was very beautiful, and given that her movie will be released in November, is someone of substance.

 

And I didn't say I was not interested in the woman I was on the date with, I just do not have a commitment to her of being exclusive. The point is there was no "secret way" to get it accomplished. It was a somewhat intimate affair and discretion prohibited me from being so brazen as to make up some lame high school story etc.

As to your skepticism, perhaps you are right. But I decided to get the contact info for the agency and will indeed submit a note. Maybe you're right, but nothing ventured nothing gained. (Maybe I'll get lucky and she'll invite me to the premier!)

[Kamille]

I vote go for it. You'll look extremely confident and that's 30 bonus points right there. Plus you have absolutely nothing to loose.

 

Go for the someone there knew her name fib. You could even say you just had to ask what her name was.

[alphamale]

I could theoretically contact her agency and send a note introducing myself but this strikes me as really inappropriate given the somewhat unpermitted way I learned her identity.

it depends....if she really liked you then she would think of this as you being generative and creative. if she was non-serious then she would think of you as a stalker or weird.

 

the problem is you don't know which. you should send the note and then you'll find out. it really does not matter if she blows you off or thinks your weird cause you'll probably never see her again.

[Green]

I never said dont give it a try, so I hope you didnt take it that way, I'm just telling you to be realistic and see things for what they really are you probably did F up ur only chance with that particular girl, but go ahead and try your little plan out it could work and maybe you'll get a date. Just in the future relize this isnt the best policy for how 2 do things your time and energy is probably better spent elsewhere

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Interesting story, Loserdude.

 

IF the plot reaches a climax, the horizons can turn out to be exilarating.

 

Do I write the note or just let it go?

 

I believe you should write her a note -via agency.

 

Question: Why don't you look up her name in the phone book given her local?

 

All in all, contacting her agency is the wisest of all options.

 

Sand&Water

[Loserdude]

RE:

 

Interesting story, Loserdude.

 

IF the plot reaches a climax, the horizons can turn out to be exilarating.

 

Do I write the note or just let it go?

 

I believe you should write her a note -via agency.

 

Question: Why don't you look up her name in the phone book given her local?

 

All in all, contacting her agency is the wisest of all options.

 

Sand&Water

Thanks. Believe it or not, I actually was able to get her address but I think that's too intrusive. I'll write her agency.

[Loserdude]

it depends....if she really liked you then she would think of this as you being generative and creative. if she was non-serious then she would think of you as a stalker or weird.

 

the problem is you don't know which. you should send the note and then you'll find out. it really does not matter if she blows you off or thinks your weird cause you'll probably never see her again.

Yes, exactly. But I won't care if she blows me off and I am pretty sure that she won't think of me as a stalker or weird. I am more concerned with the intrusiveness of contacting her w/out her permission (So I guess I AM worried about the stalker aspect of it.)

 

Bottom line, I'm going for it. I really wish I could post her name but I won't dare.

[Touche]

Is she someone we would all know?

 

Also, you're right not to have gone over to her that night when you were on your date. I mean not only would it be rude to do that while you're on a date, if I were approached by a man that I saw was with another woman, I wouldn't think too much of him. So you did the right thing there.

 

Let us know what happened and PM me who she is ok?

[alphamale]

I am more concerned with the intrusiveness of contacting her w/out her permission (So I guess I AM worried about the stalker aspect of it.)

 

Bottom line, I'm going for it. I really wish I could post her name but I won't dare.

are you sure she's not out of your league?? you'd have to be quite confident & successful to date a beautiful actress like her. I mean you are LOSERDUDE and you don't come off too assertive.

[CurvyGurl]

I wonder, though, if her agency would pass along a message to her. I wonder if there is some way to send her flowers or something with an 'I saw you' message and a way to contact you if she is still interested.

[CurvyGurl]

Women who are confident and not bitter would find your gestures romantic. So long as you don't show up outside her apartment with a rose for every hour you've been apart from her, you're probably ok. Caution is good.

 

You won't know till you try, so go for it.

[alphamale]

I wonder if there is some way to send her flowers or something with an 'I saw you' message and a way to contact you if she is still interested.

typical female response CG....put down the romantic comedy video tapes....real life does not work like that. Flowers! Jeez! The guy doesn't even know her!!!!!!!!!!!! What will he get her for their first real date? a $70,000 mercedes. Get real!

[alphamale]

Women who are confident and not bitter would find your gestures romantic.

most american men and wome ARE bitter sister....so your theory does not hold water.

[Pyro]

most american men and wome ARE bitter sister.

 

Man, you just like to look at the glass half empty, don't you?