Guest Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Hello OK, i need advice. Its a very strange situation, but here goes. Ok, my best friend is married to my ex boyfriend, we didn't talk for 7 years because of it, but I got over it & we are friends again. She tried to set me up with her ex boyfriend, which i ran into & he asked me out on his own. Ok, he is 35 years old, tall, very handsome - owns his own house - owns & rents out a penthouse - owns a shore house - owns a boat - is a Vice President of a VERY famous billion dollar company in NY. (i rather not mention the name) Ok here comes the BUT............. he smokes pot every other day. He has been smoking it ever since my best friend was dating him & that was 13 years ago. When I asked him about it he said " i have a very good career & if i have a stressful day, there is nothing wrong with coming home & smoking a joint, its not hurting anyone" I am not a fan of any kind of drugs. So what do i do, blow him off right away knowing this up front?? or do i just date him & take it day by day to see what happens, since i'm not gonna marry him tomorrow. Any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
justagirliegirl Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 All the things you listed about him are superficial things. Why did your friend end it with him? What was wrong with him? Just because someone has money or looks good doesn't mean they aren't a total arsehat. The guy is a druggie too. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Well I wouldn't call him a "druggie." And I'll leave my views on pot and its use out of it but I do want to ask you this: Do you dislike him when he's high? Is he abusive when he's high? Does he stop interacting with you? Is he harming you? I'd continue to date him and take it day by day and see what happens if the answers to those question are all "No." Also wanted to add that I agree with girlie. Forget all the superficial things for a moment. Would you still be interested in him if he wasn't as succesful? Really ask yourself that. It's important. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 We all have to be true to our own values. BUT having said that, i have been in two relationships where the guys were alcoholics. They would get abusive, lose jobs, crash cars, start fights etc. I also have friends that relax at the end of the day with a joint instead. They eat Ben & Jerrys, and watch comedy. Ask any cop whether they deal with more crap from drunks, or pot smokers. Personally, I ,my middle aged neighbor housewives, and my 70 yr old dad, indulge. The only reason it's "worse" than tequila is because it's illegal, and THATS because the govt isn't making any money on it. "God gave it to us and the Government took it away" I'd be thrilled with this guy, if you don't want him, send him MY way ! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Ok, he is 35 years old, tall, very handsome - owns his own house - owns & rents out a penthouse - owns a shore house - owns a boat - is a Vice President of a VERY famous billion dollar company in NY. (i rather not mention the name) Ok here comes the BUT............. he smokes pot every other day. Smoking pot is his only redeeming quality. The rest is so cliche and Sex and the City-like. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Smoking pot is his only redeeming quality. The rest is so cliche and Sex and the City-like. And that's a bad thing because.... Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 And that's a bad thing because.... I didn't know women liked succe$$ful men. *smirk* Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 I didn't know women liked succe$$ful men. *smirk* Hey look around here sometime...some women PREFER losers whom they have to support! It takes all kinds I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Hey look around here sometime...some women PREFER losers whom they have to support! It takes all kinds I guess. HAHA. Too true. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Guest, so if he did not have any of those material things that you say he has, and did not smoke pot and was just a regular guy, would you still be interested? I don't see what the big deal is with him smoking pot... Looks like you are looking for the perfect guy. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Ok here comes the BUT............. he smokes pot every other day. does he have glaucoma? Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 and may I add, I don't smoke pot have a long time ago, and prob would not again, but what the heck is the big deal. Link to post Share on other sites
BabyPhoenix Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 He smokes pot every other day. If he rather drank a few glasses of wine every other day, would you still have the same objection? It is essentially the equivalent. It also seems like you are looking at superficialities, which leads me to question even further your opinion of his pot spoking. Perhaps he should be the one wondering if he should date you. "She's great, except that she doesn't accept me for who I am, and seems to be after my money." Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 If he rather drank a few glasses of wine every other day, would you still have the same objection? It is essentially the equivalent. It also seems like you are looking at superficialities, which leads me to question even further your opinion of his pot spoking. Perhaps he should be the one wondering if he should date you. "She's great, except that she doesn't accept me for who I am, and seems to be after my money." wow very well said Link to post Share on other sites
Loserdude Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 Well, I would say decide if that alone is a deal-breaker. If so, do not go out. If you can accept it, then stick with that forever. Don't do one of these things where you tolerate it and get closer and closer with him and then say, "You have to stop that!" I am very anti-drug but it's his business what he wants to do to his brain. Maybe you could get him to consider the people who die in the "drug wars" This is an off-hand remark and I don't know all the facts but it seems that someone somewhere is fighting over this and is getting hurt over it. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 hello no i am not after his money. Yes, i would still be interested in him if he was a regular guy that didn't smoke pot. Actually I wouldn't be here asking for advice if there was no pot. I am not materialistic, i have my own money & don't need his, but i could see how u could say that from my post. 13 years ago when my friend dated him, we all were 19 years old & immature, he cheated on her a few times & when her father died, he wasn't there for her, so they broke up. He seems like he grew up a lot except for the pot smoking. I guess i'll take it day by day & see what happens. My cousin's ex husband smoked pot & became violent, & she left him & he still does it to this day. My cousin says that it could make your kids slow, if u get pregnant, is that true? I'm just very cautious about him & his pot. I really do wish he was a regular guy & didn't smoke pot at all! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted November 12, 2006 Share Posted November 12, 2006 I don't smoke pot either, but I don't think it's a big deal. Clearly not all pot smokers are losers, and he is evidence of that. I like what the other poster stated, would you like him if he was just your average guy with an average job with the traits he has? Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I don't smoke pot because I simply don't like the effect it usually has on me. (ok, I have had fun a couple of times with it, but mostly it just freaks me out.) I just don't see anything wrong with it. I think it should be legal. Alcohol is a far more dangerous drug. Link to post Share on other sites
melodymatters Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 " My cousin's ex husband smoked pot & became violent, & she left him & he still does it to this day." ----------------------------------------------------------------- "My cousin says that it could make your kids slow, if u get pregnant, is that true?" ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Your cousins husband is the first person I have ever heard of who becomes " violent" on marijuana. I'm guessing he's just a violent dude and THATS his excuse. as for question # 2, I'm assuming we are talking about the male partner, as no one would condone a pregnant woman smoking pot. My dad did when he concevied me, and I have always scored in the 99th percentile of the nation on tests, and have tested out with a very high IQ. You would probably be SHOCKED at who smokes pot and you don't even know it. I used to hang out with a high society crowd and have smoked with judges, lawyers, doctors, and that cute little news anchor with the three little girls who was on every night and was the "IT" girl in my town. BUT if it bothers you, then only YOU can decide. Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 14, 2006 Share Posted November 14, 2006 I really do wish he was a regular guy & didn't smoke pot at all! Well, he is a "regular" guy - he is certainly successful, isn't he? Oh, you mean a guy who doesn't smoke pot is a "regular" guy. Does your "regular" guy drink alcohol? Don't buy into the hype that pot is evil if you don't believe alcohol is evil. That's just our governement approving certain vices and not others because it can tax alcohol much more easily than it can tax pot - people can grow pot at home and the government wouldn't get a penny. The government made alcohol illegal for a while because of some people who said alcohol was evil during Prohibition. If you like this guy a lot, do some research and read some unbiased sources - or at least read both sides of the story, not just what your cousin said or whatever. But, I think you should stop seeing him. I doubt you'll get over your distate for his smoking, so this relationship will end sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
westernxer Posted November 15, 2006 Share Posted November 15, 2006 My cousin's ex husband smoked pot & became violent, & she left him & he still does it to this day. People smoke pot to mellow out, not the other way around. The ex probably did other stuff besides pot. Link to post Share on other sites
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