My g/f

[JoeyTheBoy]

Hi, i have a big situation, and i am really worried. I am 17 and is my g/f. Well, 2 weeks ago we broke up, i think im just bored of the relationship. I didnt really have a reason as to why we broke it off, so i told her it was cause we were too physical, which isnt really my reason. Then we got back together and somehow i convinced her it wasnt that it was too physical and now we have gone all the way. I am still very very bored with this relationship, its just exciting to talk to her anymore, i would rather be sleeping.

I guess someone told her that i was just dating her to 'go to prom.' actually, i wanted to keep everything good til prom for her, i want her senior prom to be special, so i have it all set up to be very special. I kind of dont want to be with her all summer, i just want to be a kid again, and have fun with lots of people. Can anyone help me out, is there anyway to get out of this relationship, without severly hurting her feelings. She tells me that she loves more than anything in the world. I tell her i love you too, but im not sure if either of us know what love is, and i think its infatuation. we have been together for almost 6 monthes, and i had no clue itd be so hard to get out of it. Im not a jerk, ive been a very nice boyfriend i think, and help you guys can give me, to make sure that she wont hold bad feelings against me...i cant go on a whole lot longer in this, but i want her prom to still be special, and i want her to be happy, thats what i try to do day in and day out.

 

Thanks, Joey

[Tony T]

First of all, you're not in charge of making sure she's happy at the prom. Secondly, you can take her to the prom even if the two of you aren't seeing each other.

 

You broke up...and then got back together with her. Why was that? It seems if you would have just stayed apart you would have been fine.

 

You have got to learn now that it is absolutely necessary to be assertive in relationships and clearly express your feelings. You don't have to tell her you're bored with being with her but you can easily tell her you need some space to be young while you are still young and you prefer not to be tied into a relationship. Assure her, however, that you do care about her and you want to take her to the prom. If she gets pissed and says she doesn't want you to take her, that pretty much gets you off the hook.

 

Life is way too short to be with people you don't want to be with and to do things you don't want to do. So just stop it now.

 

At your earliest opportunity, free yourself from this thing...do it kindly...and stay friends with her. And from here on out, try not to get yourself into things you don't want to be in...and get out of things quickly when you feel discomfort if you can't work things out.

 

And I totally agree with you...you are way too young to be stuck in a relationship. There's a great big world out there and you should remain a little boy as long as you can. One day it'll be way too late to experience youth but there will be plenty of opportunities to seek out and secure romance. One day you will be bogged down with responsibilities with little time to experience what you can now.

 

Become a free man as soon as possible.

[quankanne]

I agree with what Tony's suggested, but would like to add this thought -- whatever you do, don't lie to her! Be compassionate when you break up with her, but don't weasel out of the relationship by telling her a lie. There's nothing worse to a girl -- no matter WHAT her age -- than being lied to! You sound like a pretty sharp guy if you can identify why you don't feel comfortable in such an emotionally involved relationship at your age, so I'm sure you'll do fine

[velvet]

Nobody wants to be dumped, especially when you like the person. Do you think you could have a good friendship with her when you call of the relationship? If you can pull it off, than you have a good friendship together. Although, we dont know what her feelings are for you, if she loves you, you may not be able to a good friendship. There will jealousy when date others, she will wonder if something was wrong with her.

 

When you have the talk, just explain that its becuase you want to date others and thats how you feel right now and hope that she understands. Now would you be able to date her if she turned into mrs. excitement over night? Have you given her a chance?

 

She may not want to go to the prom with you if you brake the r/s off. I know I wouldnt want to go to the prom with you at that point, even if we were best friends. It would be weird!