3 months of NC

[Guest]

so i havent had contact with my ex for 3 months. i tried reaching out to him 3 times. he said he wanted space to take care of himself and his life. i tried to give it to him but i broke down a few times and texted and called him. of course he doesnt answer. i see him around sometimes and he jus acknowledeges me and walks on by.

 

does that mean he's moved on? is his ignoring me going to last forever? i'm so hurt! he said he loved me and i was his best friend. he treated me like crap during the break up but i really don't want to take his angry words as truth. but its alreayd been so long. is it realy over? or does he jus need time to think? will there be a second chance? somehow i still think if we had another chance things would work out.

[Anastasia0309]

Me and my Ex are broken up right now because I need time to work some emotional stuff out, too. I need time, even tough I don't want it because I miss him like crazy. What I'm trying to say is eventhough we both need time apart we love each other and can't help but want to see how the other is doing. I really think that if he Really really loves you he would want you in his life. Remember...Actions speak Louder than any words he can say to you. I could understand that he needs this time but why wouldn't he want to be atleast friendly with you. It sounds like to me he's just blowing you off and you deserve WAY better than that. I would say 3 months is a long time to wait and you should move on for yourself. I know it's a whole lot harder to do than to say. But if you start to move on then your only going to be doing GOOD for your life. I know there is some guy out there waiting for you. Keep your head up!!!!!

[Guest]

i know i should move on and i should stop making excuses for him but part of me still wants to believe that he is a good person that I knew and just wants space and time. i thought that since i never was able to give him space before he knows that if he responds then the space he needs would be broken because i would want to talk more.

 

i dont know what to believe. he's always been lost and confused and before when we were on a break he would want to keep in touch but i would always talk about getting back. im just so confused. its my bday saturday. last year he celebrated it with me. i'm just so sad that he wont this year.

[Guest]

so saturday was my birthday. he didn't call. i kind of knew that he wouldnt but i was really hoping that he would. i miss him to the point where i just want to talk about things. i don't know waht to do anymore. even after all the mean things he's done to me i still want hm. i love him so much. isn't 3 months enough time. how can he say he love me and din't even call to wish me a good birthday. im so depresssed i don't know what to do. the hurt came back all over again.

[Jane Doe]

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but you really need to move on. It sounds as though he already has. Please stop humiliating yourself by contacting him. Heal from this and go on with your life.

[miss snoopy]

I'm so hurt! he said he loved me and i was his best friend.

 

They always say that (mine an hour before we broke up) But actions speak louder than words. Hold onto the good memories but try and fill your life with activities and people - it sounds cliched but it really does help. This man is gone and the fact he didn't acknowledge your birthday should tell you the door's firmly shut on this one. Please don't contact him again, EVER. For your own sanity.

 

Bloody men! I know what you're going through...(((hugs)))

[D-Lish]

It's so diificult to know someone's loving tender side and then have them turn around and act like an icy, heartless jerk. It's very hard to come to terms with such a personality change.

 

Unfortunately, it looks as if your ex is moving on. I have been through this too. 3 months of NC, I reached out...and he is icy and non-responsive.... even though I never knew him as that sort of man when we were dating. He too did not acknowledge my b-day. One day he loved me, and the next he broke up with me over the phone. When he came to get his stuff a month after that he wouldn't even look me in the eye. It was heartbreaking.

 

I know it's hard, but you have to start recognizing this as a break-up as opposed to a break. They don't respond because they have moved on. If they cared at all they would reach out~ but they don't.

 

You have to get on with your life and put this person behind you. Hold your head high and focus on the positive things and people in your life.

[pjammer]

It's so diificult to know someone's loving tender side and then have them turn around and act like an icy, heartless jerk. It's very hard to come to terms with such a personality change.

 

Unfortunately, it looks as if your ex is moving on. I have been through this too. 3 months of NC, I reached out...and he is icy and non-responsive.... even though I never knew him as that sort of man when we were dating. He too did not acknowledge my b-day. One day he loved me, and the next he broke up with me over the phone. When he came to get his stuff a month after that he wouldn't even look me in the eye. It was heartbreaking.

 

I know it's hard, but you have to start recognizing this as a break-up as opposed to a break. They don't respond because they have moved on. If they cared at all they would reach out~ but they don't.

 

You have to get on with your life and put this person behind you. Hold your head high and focus on the positive things and people in your life.

Is that really true though? If they care AT ALL, they will eventually reach out to you? Not necessarily to automatically give a second chance, but to atleast see if you have changed?

[pjammer]

They always say that (mine an hour before we broke up) But actions speak louder than words. Hold onto the good memories but try and fill your life with activities and people - it sounds cliched but it really does help. This man is gone and the fact he didn't acknowledge your birthday should tell you the door's firmly shut on this one. Please don't contact him again, EVER. For your own sanity.

 

Bloody men! I know what you're going through...(((hugs)))

Hey, Im a guy, and im not a jerk! I really did try my best in my relationship, and I did some stupid mitakes that I am so damn sorry for. I am just giving her space, doing NC, and seeing where it goes...but I know I am a good guy deep down...

[D-Lish]

Is that really true though? If they care AT ALL, they will eventually reach out to you? Not necessarily to automatically give a second chance, but to atleast see if you have changed?

 

Who can ever say if they will ever reach out. Some people are more forgiving and compassionate than others. Some people NEED to deal with a break up by cutting off all contact. I've had exes contact me again after a break up...some have not. It's the same with me, I have wanted contact with some of my exes, yet not with others.

 

My current ex has not had contact with ANY of his exes.... that speaks volumes to me about how he deals with a break up. He shuts down and moves on and never looks back. It's been no different in terms of how he's treated me.

 

Think of it this way PJ... if you truly cared for someone and you knew they loved you, would you reach out to them? I know I would.

 

Some people deal with a break up by just shutting off and blocking their ex from their head. Some people also say they need a break or space...to lessen the blow when what they truly want is to break up for good.

 

Some exes may look you up after a period of time, but most of them move on, and we should too.

[pjammer]

Think of it this way PJ... if you truly cared for someone and you knew they loved you, would you reach out to them? I know I would.

I definately would...obviously it may take some time, but I dont think I would never want to see them again unless they cheated on me (and that is not my circumstances - I would never cheat on ANYONE because Ive had that happen to me and I know what it feels like).

 

I dunno, maybe I am making too big a deal of this situation. Ive been in NC for just over 3 weeks, and it is really tough. I really do love her very much, and she knows that because Ive told her since we broke up. But it's so hard to feel this way, and then not be able to speak to them. Im just hoping I get the opportunity too, and she will see how I have improved.

[Guest]

I wish i can let go so easily but he is my first love. We fell hard and fast. although he was with someone before he never said those three words. thats y i believe he was true to me. i guess im holding on because he said he wanted space until december until he's done taking care of business. i guess i wanna know if he really moved on or just need more time. if he's sure he wants to move on then y won'the give me an honest answer. i do love him after all the harm hes done and being apart did make me see things clearer; things to improve on. i really want another try

[Grrlish]

... i broke down a few times and texted and called him. of course he doesnt answer.

 

i see him around sometimes and he jus acknowledeges me and walks on by.

 

he treated me like crap during the break up but i really don't want to take his angry words as truth.

 

somehow i still think if we had another chance things would work out.

 

He's ignoring you. You're openly saying that you want to deny the truth.

 

He does not want to give things another chance so there's no way it's going to work out.

 

If you're calling and texting him and he's not responding, he'd pretty much rather that you went away and probably considers your behavior to be off-the-wall. If some guy was doing this stuff to me, I'd think he was whacked.

 

People say "I love you" and "forever" all the time while in relationships. Words are not binding and his behavior says that he doesn't feel this way anymore.

 

Don't sit around and see if he comes back in December after he's treated you like this. I can't possibly understand why you would want to just let someone back into your life after he's treated you like this. He's basically put you on hold while he's doing God knows what. Asking for 'space' but not wanting to end the relationship shouldn't mean ignoring you and treating you with disrespect. If he still wanted the relationship, he'd be doing SOMETHING to show this to you while he's having his 'space'.

 

Move on, darlin'. Give your love and your efforts to someone who wants them and deserves them.

[Guest]

He's ignoring you. You're openly saying that you want to deny the truth.

 

He does not want to give things another chance so there's no way it's going to work out.

 

If you're calling and texting him and he's not responding, he'd pretty much rather that you went away and probably considers your behavior to be off-the-wall. If some guy was doing this stuff to me, I'd think he was whacked.

 

People say "I love you" and "forever" all the time while in relationships. Words are not binding and his behavior says that he doesn't feel this way anymore.

 

Don't sit around and see if he comes back in December after he's treated you like this. I can't possibly understand why you would want to just let someone back into your life after he's treated you like this. He's basically put you on hold while he's doing God knows what. Asking for 'space' but not wanting to end the relationship shouldn't mean ignoring you and treating you with disrespect. If he still wanted the relationship, he'd be doing SOMETHING to show this to you while he's having his 'space'.

 

Move on, darlin'. Give your love and your efforts to someone who wants them and deserves them.

 

 

 

i wish i can move on. it's so hard when he's the first person i love. he's my first everything. i guess i wanna believe that he knows if he contacts me we'll get back. that was the situation before, he always wanted to still talk when he wanted space but i couldn't and just wanna get back together and we end up getting back and breaking up again. could it be that hes ignoring me because he knows that if we talk we'll end up getting back and he knows hes not ready for that so hes completely ignoring me? im just so confused and hurt. im trying so hard not to contact him and act like a crazy ex but i cant get over it!

[Winfield]

So, 3 months of NC - how much more time do you think he needs to think? And how much more time are you be prepared to give him to make a decision?

 

You've spent a quarter of a year "hoping" that he'll come back...well, stop! It's pretty safe to say now that he won't (besides, the way he talks to / ignores you should have given the game away long before now)...

 

Things always seem better in retrospect (ie, knowing where a relationship went wrong), but the truth of the matter is that, 99% of the time, there really is no going back...and even if there is some reconciliation, the pressure of trying to make things work is greater than ever...

 

3 months of NC...I suggest you keep it going - don't waste any more time on him, move on and get yourself happy!

 

PS - stop counting the days / months post-breakup too - it does nobody any favours, least of all you as all it serves to do is remind you of an unhappy time!