"I dont get excited over things like this"

[almostthere]

After decussions back and forth about engagement i finally mad eup my mind that this is something that i wanted to do.

 

so on sweetest day he worked late and got home after the jewelry store closed. I was going to talk to him about putting a down payment down over dinner and then go to the store afterwards.

 

Well...i told him later that night what i wanted to do and he didnt say anything but oh. it was like i said the cat was purring or something very little and stupid.

 

So it bothered me for awhile and finally i talked to him on Friday night. i told him how disappointed i was on his disinterest on the subject. all he replied was "i just dont get excited about things like this."

 

It was like i asked him to get excited over the new nailpolish i just bought or something.

 

I found this incredibly hurtful. is this really not that exciting for men? i am hurt by it and i want to know i am justified before i go back to him on it.

[Mythical]

After decussions back and forth about engagement i finally mad eup my mind that this is something that i wanted to do.

 

so on sweetest day he worked late and got home after the jewelry store closed. I was going to talk to him about putting a down payment down over dinner and then go to the store afterwards.

 

Well...i told him later that night what i wanted to do and he didnt say anything but oh. it was like i said the cat was purring or something very little and stupid.

 

So it bothered me for awhile and finally i talked to him on Friday night. i told him how disappointed i was on his disinterest on the subject. all he replied was "i just dont get excited about things like this."

 

It was like i asked him to get excited over the new nailpolish i just bought or something.

 

I found this incredibly hurtful. is this really not that exciting for men? i am hurt by it and i want to know i am justified before i go back to him on it.

 

 

I would also be hurt by something like that I mean if he doesn't get excited about that what does he get excited about??

I mean even if he doesn't why can't he for you?!

[almostthere]

very true. us girls have to fake a lot of things in order for men to feel better about themselves lol

[Mythical]

very true. us girls have to fake a lot of things in order for men to feel better about themselves lol

 

Yes exactly, well I mean I car about my boy a lot...even if he talks/wants to do something im not "excited" about id do it for him!!

 

How long have you guys been together??

Is he like this about everything?

[Moose]

No man gets excited dropping cash down on anything. Unless of course it's a new toy for him.

 

Seriously though, this issue about him not getting excited over this is something that Mrs. Moose and I struggle with.

 

You cannot excite this woman for anything!!! I do mean that!

 

In the 19 years we've been married she can confess to two times where I actually surprised her.

 

One was on our wedding day when I had a brand new limo waiting for us, the other was with a ring I gave her on our 5th anniversary.

 

On both occasions, it was like, "Whoa Nice!" and that was the end of it.

 

I've just learned that she expresses her self differently. Those things do mean a lot to her, but she just shows it in stranger ways......

[Guest]

Are you sure he really wants to get married? If he's not excited about getting married, he's not gonna be excited about getting ring.

 

Why are you the one talking about going to put down payment on it and go to the store? How come he's not doing that?

[Freefalling21]

First of all, Moose is right. People express themselves in different ways thats what makes us individuals. If you are upset about his reaction, here is a thought...TELL HIM! We do not have super human abilities to read minds and sometimes we need to speak up. You will feel better that you got it off your chest and now you have successfully COMMUNICATED. One of the many important aspects of a relationships.

 

To add, we are part of the 21st century and ring shopping can be great way to restablish the relationship. Sometimes, ring shopping can be stressful but if you do it together it can take some pressure off both of you. I mean, this is a big step and its important for you to know what you two are getting into. There shouldn't be any expectations on what ring he decided to present you with but, it is important for both of you to realize that it is suppose to be symbol of your "life-long" committment to eachother and that is what defines its worth.

[Walk]

I've read a few of your other posts about this guy in the past. I'm wondering if his lack of excitment over the ring is due to the, uh... up and down type of relationship you have. Seems as if you two have problems with how you view things sometimes, getting those two views to mesh and finding comprimise.

 

Plus you told him on sweetiest day that you weren't ready to get married (if I remembered that correctly). If he perceives you as indecisive on the idea, then he wouldn't get excited. If you're excited about it one day, adn the next saying you don't want to, then a week later saying you do, but no communication as to how you got to either of those decisions.... kind of leaves a person feeling like your mind changes with the direction of the wind.

 

I think he's partly protecting himself from the next sudden change in direction. (sudden to him) Plus, he might be carrying some baggage from the previous failed marriage that is brought out with the idea of trying marriage again. I know I've got crap in my head that only surfaces with talk about marrying again.

 

I'm kind of old school in my thought process toward marriage... but I feel that if a man really wants that, then he'll step forward and start the process. I don't want to ever push someone into marriage, and I would feel setting up dates and times to ring shop would be pushing. I think you said you were paying for a portion of it? Not sure I read that right. And I can understand why you would want to set up a time since you both have kids and work and all the other daily "to do" items... But I think if I were in your shoes, I would drop back a level, ease off the pressure, and then attempt to re-establish communication about marriage and rings and what both of you want from the relationship.

 

Mind you, this is from my perspective and I think I missed a few of your previous posts, so you'll have to decide if those reasons seem plausible or not.