a unique situation

[amsantos6]

I'm sure everyone thinks they're unique, but I really do haha. My g/f of almost 3 years and I broke up in July. For both of us, it was our first serious relationship, and I was graduating college and she had a year left, and she says she felt like she needed to see if the grass was greener, to have some frame of reference, which I suppose I understand. We've always been very good to each other and care a lot about each other. We spoke sporadically for a few weeks after the breakup, then I told her we couldn't be friends and cut it off.

 

Several weeks after that, my dog died and she called me having seen it on my away msg. She left a very nice message to the effect of, I wanted to check in, see how you're doing, and I'd like to hear from you. I didn't call her back, then saw her that weekend at the football game and kind of blew her off. Her best friend also saw me dancing/making out with a girl at a party the night before. At the time, I thought this was good; that she would have food for thought.

 

I have not heard from her since, which is what I expected, but as the end of the semester approaches, I am wondering if I should contact her to try and open the door again. I feel like she may not do it because of how I've blown her off and clearly asked for space.

 

In talking with another friend who was in her same position last year, she doesn't think my ex has had time to process the breakup or to appreciate its significance, since senior year of college is so full of distractions and partying and what not. I know she isn't dating anyone. She graduates in May and then will most likely be moving, so I feel like I'm under some kind of clock here to try and repair things if that's possible. It seems like xmas break is the best time to try and reconnect, but I am torn about putting myself out there or even giving her the satisfaction of knowing I am still interested.

 

I'm still in love with her, but I'm no longer the sappy mess I was when we first broke up. I do feel like there are unresolved issues between us about the relationship, since the breakup seemed so circumstantial. She said a few weeks after the breakup that she couldnt tell me she's not in love with me and she wished this could just be a break, but that she had to do it for herself. It seems like if we had met a few years down the road we would be perfect. I feel like once she graduates and is in my position, she'll understand more the value and importance of a good, healthy relationship, but by then it may be too late.

 

Looking for any and all advice on how best to work this situation.

[Guest]

no one with advice??? my main concern is the fact that I feel like we're on a clock. If we weren't graduating this year, I would let it be until she came around, but I feel like I should do something to put myself out there and take a chance that if I put myself back in her life, that she'll realize what she was missing, before it's too late and we both move away for good. Thoughts???