My brother is out of control how do I get through to him

[Guest]

Hello there. I post under a different name but forgot my password. I am dealing with an out of control older brother. He is 29 I am 24 and we currently live together with 2 other roommates. I was with my now ex girlfriend for sometime and she moved in this house with me and my brother when we first got it. He would never pay his part of the rent and my mom co signed for the house. Thus whenever he doesn't pay she's got to cover it and rides my ass about it nonstop.

 

This took a toll on me and I let it take a toll on my relationship. I would be upset and take it out on my ex. Well my brother has a kid and his ex broke up with him cause he had a bad gambling problem. He still continues to gambling, even as going as far as taking my checking account to supply his gambling funds. I know I should report it to law enforcement, but then I'd have to hear my mom on my case about the rent not being paid. Its a catch 22 per say. Well my brother recently got a dui and still drinks and drives. He deals with a cheating girlfriend who I told him many times to not talk to and now he wants her to move in to our house, cause she just got a dui and got a child endangerment also cause her kid was with her. Totally childish on both their parts.

 

My brother refuses to get a job and now I deal with it in my own already hectic life. He's gone to treatment for gambling for a month but didnt work. What can me and my family do to get this kid to start taking responsibilities and get his **** together. If I could make enough money to pay for his child support which is over 20000 I would just to see the kid happy. I'm just tired of him robbing the whole family. Maybe a move to another area might help him. We told him to move to Seattle with my middle brother who is way more mature then my older brother. Please help. I'm about ready to do something I totally regret. I just want to see my brother happy and nothing seems to get through to him. Also my parents are divorces does this have to do anything with it? Suggest counceling? What? Thanks in advance.

[lizzielou]

First of all, I'm not sure I understand why your mom gets on YOUR case for HIS mistakes. You must have a heart of gold to put up with this.

 

If his girl moves in with you, it's just doubling your trouble. Plus her kid will likely be around and you may possibly end up babysitting more than you care to. What do the other two roomates think? Afterall, they pay their share of the rent when your brother isn't. I think you should get another (more stable) roomate.

 

I know family is important, but sometimes you have give them "tough love" and stop supporting a habit. I would personally rather my brother sit in jail than get in more trouble from bookies b/c he's in so much debt. I know a family who kept bailing his kid out of situations he put himself in to feed his drug habit. They finally let him own up to his responsibilities and sit in jail for 6 months.

 

When did your parents divorce? I'm not sure it necessarily makes sense to link their divorce to his gambling. For the month that he went to therapy, are you relying on his honesty, or do you know that he went for a fact? Have you looked into support groups for gamblers or their family members? This sounds cheesy, but maybe y'all can do an intervention.