I'm an idiot !!

[panzer6]

Called my ex and wished her happy birthday this morning, turns out her birthday was on Sunday. I feel like a complete idiot. I didn't want to screw this one up. But I did. She didn't seem very impressed. I feel awful. I don't know why things seem to always go wrong for us.

[gonetildecember]

Ooh.. thats tough...Hoprfully you at least got some points for effort... but not a good mistake to make

[panzer6]

I know what you mean, I feel absolutely terrible. I didn't want to screw this one up cuz I screwed up alot of other things. She has every right to be mad at me, Im sure she is really disappointed with me. I never fell in love with someone the way I fell for her. She is very special to me but things just seem so hurtfull between us. I guess I will just have to let her go and hope she finds happiness with someone who can give her all the things I can't. This hurts so much. I am so angry with myself.

[luvtoto]

She has every right to be mad at me, Im sure she is really disappointed with me. I never fell in love with someone the way I fell for her. She is very special to me but things just seem so hurtfull between us. I guess I will just have to let her go and hope she finds happiness with someone who can give her all the things I can't.

Yes. That is a good idea. Was she relying on you to make her happy throughout your whole relationship?

 

I don't know your history, Panzer...but, why are you being so hard on yourself?? You seem worn down a bit.

 

Maybe you should let her go and find a woman that is a bit more understanding. Don't wear the weight of another person's expectations on your shoulders. (If that makes any sense)

 

As far as the birthday call...what ever happened to the phrase 'it's the thought that counts'?

 

You are not just one big screw-up. Don't allow anyone to make you feel that way.

[Spinderella]

I agree with luvtoto. What were your intentions when you called her up today to wish her happy birthday? They were good, right? You wanted to make her happy. Thats not something to beat yourself up over. So you got the wrong day, you didnt mean to! You meant to get the right day and make her happy.

[Touche]

I don't know your history but the way I see it, if she REALLY wanted to be with you, a little mistake like that wouldn't stand in the way. Did you apologize? I would have apoligized and said "I'm an idiot."

 

Like I said, this shouldn't be a "make it or break" it proposition.

[panzer6]

Yeah I know it shouldn't be a make or break thing. I just feel bad cuz she has had a lot of crappy birthdays and I know she always expects the worst when it comes around every year. I was just hoping this one wouldn't be a bad one. I didn't want to contribute to it being a bad one. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. She seems to be fed up with me so I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next. I just want her to be happy.

[luvtoto]

Yeah I know it shouldn't be a make or break thing. I just feel bad cuz she has had a lot of crappy birthdays and I know she always expects the worst when it comes around every year. I was just hoping this one wouldn't be a bad one. I didn't want to contribute to it being a bad one. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. She seems to be fed up with me so I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next. I just want her to be happy.

If she is already expecting the worst, then she will look at any excuse to make her day bad. She should try to be a little more positive.

[dr strangelove]

Well

 

Im not sure of your history. And she is your ex, so she might not be to happy because she doesnt wish to hear from you. But perhaps that is not the case and she is hoping you will make more of an effort.

 

Perhaps you could try and try and do something special and unexpected.

 

What does she like?

 

I could tell you a bunch of things I did that worked.. thinking about I think all of them worked.. ya fancy that, I never realized that before...

 

in any case ill check in later.

[panzer6]

I don't know if anything will work anymore. She seems pretty fed up with me. If you have any ideas I would like to hear them. I guess all I can do is try. Thanks.

[Touche]

I don't know if anything will work anymore. She seems pretty fed up with me. If you have any ideas I would like to hear them. I guess all I can do is try. Thanks.

 

Actually, no. My suggestion? STOP trying! Let it go. Don't contact her anymore. It will either help you move on or it will bring her back to you. STEP BACK! WAY back, ok? Right now, if you try anymore you will push her even further away.

[panzer6]

I know, I was leaning toward that anyway. I did it before for 3 months and sure enough she contacted me. Then all this crap happened. I guess time will tell.

[Touche]

I know, I was leaning toward that anyway. I did it before for 3 months and sure enough she contacted me. Then all this crap happened. I guess time will tell.

 

Yes, it will. Apologize to her and then disappear. Tell her you still thought of her you just got the day wrong. It's not the end of the world!

 

And then, DISAPPEAR from her life. Ok? Because if you don't you have NO chance that she will ever contact you again. But if she doesn't be prepared to move on. She's not the only fish in the sea, ok?

 

And stop making all your posts' titles "I'm an idiot." You're not an idiot. You're human and made an honest mistake. And if a girl really loved you, she wouldn't let you go for just not remembering her birthday.

[panzer6]

You know I could never understand something about her. I've seen her tell one of her friends to get lost and she proceeded to delete all her contact information of that person in her cell phone. But when it comes to me she doesn't seem willing to do that. If she wants me gone why does she keep my number? 3 months went by and boom, she calls me. She still had my number. I just don't understand that.

[Touche]

You know I could never understand something about her. I've seen her tell one of her friends to get lost and she proceeded to delete all her contact information of that person in her cell phone. But when it comes to me she doesn't seem willing to do that. If she wants me gone why does she keep my number? 3 months went by and boom, she calls me. She still had my number. I just don't understand that.

 

She must still have feelings for you. You've got to be a little stronger though. She likes things about you obviously, but her feelings just aren't that strong though. It's up to you now. What you do now could mean the difference between goodbye forever or you get back together.

 

How long had you been going out?

[dr strangelove]

Ok im not even sure why im posting this. But thinking about it, the reality is that in some cases when I broke up with women or was on the verge of break up I managed to fix it. So I guess when I write something I usually speak of things that have worked.

 

But im usually ignored, or when I give advice it is ignored or seems pointless.

 

Look dude women are nostalgic and sentimental. After my ex broke up with me she vowed never to speak to me, and then eventually she did and she was very angry. Then one day she was nice... and she quizzed me on what day did we met etc.. and I made sure before that day came I had it written down so I remembered. I can only say she was impressed.

 

Another time when we were together she got pissed off at me and freaked out and gave me the old dont talk to me anymore. I was like I guess its back to giving her the cold shoulder.. then I thought well I did that already. So I instead went out and bought a plant and I left it on her doorstop with a note.

 

She called me within the hour and wasnt so angry anymore. One thing lead to another and she end up sleeping over that night. And the next day she told people what I did, it wasnt so much the flowers it was the EFFORT.

 

Sometimes you make a bit of effort like that and it doesnt go anywhere, but that is pretty rare, and of course it depends on the delivery.

 

I did allsorts of stuff like that most of the time it worked.

 

That "no contact" thing is just one TOOL, to be honest its mostly a TOOL for PLAYERS. Most of the time the phrase on here is used out of context or sometimes used in the wrong situation.

 

And you really havent given us much of a back story, what were the events

before you calling her?

 

You know what I dont even want to know, read my post and see if you can take anything from it. I cant hold your hand through this sorry... as I said usually what I say is disregarded, even though its been field tested and worked.

[panzer6]

We started out as friends, spent alot of time together, talked alot, told each other things we had never told anyone else. There was alot of trust and intimacy between us. It just seemed so natural, the way we fell in love. I wish we could do it all over again, it felt absolutely amazing. the first couple times we slept together we didn't have sex, but I knew we both wanted to. We just held each other. Then we finally had sex and it was fantastic. It just got better and better each time we were together. We went out for a year, but she finally ended it cuz she said I didn't show my feelings and it frustrated her. After we broke up she wanted to still sleep with me. About 5 months ago she had a meltdown and told me to get lost, so I did. 3 months later she calls!!! We finally saw each other a couple weeks ago, she seemed pissed at me about something. Then her birthday was on last Sunday and you know the rest. I just don't know what to do anymore, I think it's best to back off and do nothing.

[Spinderella]

Actually in this case, it really does sound as though she has feelings for you, but grew frustrated, and perhaps did not feel that you showed it enough. Maybe you should try some of the advice from dr strangelove.

[panzer6]

You know, the more I think about this crap the more disgusted I become with it. I'm tired of trying to figure her out. What does she want, why did she do that, why did she say that. I'm past the point of caring anymore. If she wants to be a miserable person, that is her loss, not mine. I never pretended to be anything other than the person I always was. She knew that in the beginning. Now she blames me for the whole breakup. She wont take any responsibility with regards to it. That pisses me off like you wouldn't believe. Like I said I'm exhausted by this whole thing. Some things are just not meant to be. We always try to keep hope alive because when we miss someone we tend to look at them and see only the good things about them. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Those words are very true. I feel somewhat different towards my ex. I feel sorry for her. She is full of bitterness and resentment for me and blames me for everything. How can anyone deal with a person who has no sense of their own shortcomings when it comes to something as complex as a relationship? This whole thing has always been about her. Her wants, her needs, her life. I feel like I was just along for the ride and when she had had enough of me she kicked me to the curb. I don't have any illusions about not having any blame myself. It takes 2 people to make a relationship work so i figure it must take 2 to screw it up. Like I said I'm very tired. I feel like I've been thrown against a brick wall, at least from an emotional standpoint. Considering she said I have no emotions in me I sure as hell feel alot of emotions now ! I'm not going to contact her anymore. She can live her life the way she wants. I don't care anymore. I need to heal and get on with things. I hope she finds some form of happiness. I just wont be a part of it anymore.

 

 

Most people are afraid that if they back off a little that the object of their affection will move on and eventually forget about them. But, ironically, the real reason is that they, themselves, are afraid that if they back off that THEY will forget about the object of their affection and move on, and this they don't want to do.