Taxi driver

[Toni_no12002]

Hi well ive never written on here before i mean in the pst ive had similar things happen but the other night i went out and got a little too drunk.I ended up losing my mates now the next thing i remember was being in the back of a car.I thought it wud be a taxi simply because i always get in the back of taxis.When all of a sudden i realised we was going totally the wrong way to where i lived.

 

The taxi driver was pakistani he was older about 40-50 and he suddenly stopped near a park near me.I asked why we was there because i said i dont live that way but he didnt say anything.I tried to get out but the car doors where locked at this point i panicked and he satrted driving again and stopped down this street.I asked him to let me out but he said to get in the front and he would let me out so i did.But then he got his (well you know) out I asked him to let me out but he said if i sucked it hed let me out.I feel disgusting saying it sorry.I started crying but he kept repeating it.I was so scared of what would happen if i didnt.Well when it finished i was still crying and then he let me out and i ran down the street abit and was sick.He drove off

 

I feel so ashamed and dirty about what happened.I told my boyfriend and hes told me to just forget about it and things.Some of my friends have told me to tell the police but my bf keeps saying forget about it.I just cant get it out of my head i feel so dirty.Im also upset because my bf doesnt seem to want to know which makes me angry.

Can anyone help im unsure what to do.I mean is it my fault?

[Guest]

Of course it's not your fault. Your bf is a moron. Of course you MUST call the police. Who knows how many people this guy's done this to.

[IpAncA]

I would stop dwelling on the events that led up to it. Whats done is done. Just be glad that he didn't want to do anything else to you and you got out of there safe.

 

Have you tryed talking to anyone else besides your friends and bf? I'm not sure where you live or anything but some places have hotlines you can call if you want to talk about things like that. Don't know if your willing to but sometimes it's better to talk about it then to forget because I'm sure your not. You can also talk about it on here if you want to.

 

You could go to the police and imform them of what happend but not sure your going to get very far with it. You kind of need to have the Cab ID number, etc... because there maybe a lot of cab drivers out there so it will be hard to really point the finger at a specific person. The police might not also belive you too.

 

I would however advise you to try not to lose your friends and have more caution of whats going on around you. Not blaming you but now you know what can happen and you don't want to have something like that happening again.

[Green]

Just so I'm clear did you give the guy a bj? This kind of bs happens all the time, I say if your very upset call the cops or a lawyer and find out what ur options are, just remember even if you dont have enough evidence to have the guy convicted criminaly you could sue him and have it hurt his wallet.

[AriaIncognito]

First of all, it wasn't your fault. Second of all, dump your insensitive boyfriend. Any bf that says to just "forget it" isn't worth your time.

[Toni_no12002]

Hi thanks for all your replies.Well i was thinking about going to the police but i havent really got any evidence and i think i would be wasting there time.Obviously since then ive brushed my teeth and washed my mouth out like 50,000 times.

 

Ive tried to forget about it but everytime i close my eyes i can see him it make me feel sick.

 

I havent talked to anyone else about it but i kept thinking my bf thought i was lying because he just doesnt seem to be bothered.His sister was raped ages ago and he always gets so angry about that and says he wants to kill the person who did it and when i asked about it ages ago he got angry with me and said he didnt want to talk about it but all his family where going to kick his head in.I asked him why he was so upset for his sister but with me its like hes not bothered(i know it wasnt as bad but it did scare me).

 

His sister died not long ago and she was only 22 the same age as me.I was there for him and helped him through it,so why isnt he there for me.I feel so alone.I understand that hes still upset about his sister but does that mean that i have to just deal with it on my own?

Maybe im being selfish because losing someone like that is a big deal.Maybe he just doesnt want anymore complications.

[Walk]

You're not being selfish! You just had a very truamtic experience, and all your bf can do is brush it off! Seems like he's treating it like you just told him Penny's didn't have the shoes you wanted. What an AZZ!! Your bf is being a selfish, insesitive jerk.

 

I think you should go to the police. Even if you don't have much to go to them with, and even if they can't do anything to the guy right now... if he pulls this on another girl, or does worse to someone else.. then they'll have a record on the guy. Proof from others that he's done this, and then the next girl will have collaberating evidence to back up her story. I'd love if they could find this guy and skin him alive... but chances are they won't be able to do much. At the very least though, you coming forward could be the one piece that helps to put him away the next time this occurs. I highly doubt you're the only girl he's ever done this to. And you won't be the last. A least start a paper trail on this guy.

 

I'm really sorry this happened to you.

[Guest]

I think you should go to the police. Even if you don't have much to go to them with, and even if they can't do anything to the guy right now... if he pulls this on another girl, or does worse to someone else.. then they'll have a record on the guy. Proof from others that he's done this, and then the next girl will have collaberating evidence to back up her story. I'd love if they could find this guy and skin him alive... but chances are they won't be able to do much. At the very least though, you coming forward could be the one piece that helps to put him away the next time this occurs. I highly doubt you're the only girl he's ever done this to. And you won't be the last. A least start a paper trail on this guy.

 

Walk is exactly right. You aren't in the police so aren't able to judge if what you know is good enough. Maybe he's doing it to a lot of people and you'll be able to help identify him if he's caught. Please don't just let this pass.

[nicki]

How horrible that this has happened to you. I'm so sorry. Of course you are upset. You have been violated.

 

Please consider going to the police right away. It will help YOU feel like you have some control -- that you are doing something to defend yourself, even if they don't catch the guy. It's important psychologically to your mental health. The police have a special division with counseling for sexual abuse survivors. You need to know you are not alone. You aren't.

 

Also, please consider going to a therapist and undergoing hypnosis. You may be able to recall details like the cab number or something else that identifies the guy who did this.

 

Big hug to you. We all love you here and want you to be okay. I'm so glad you told us. How can we help?

[Green]

just go to the police and let them decide what to do and know you did all you could. at the least I bet you could get him fired from Taxi driving

[Tete de poulet]

Hi thanks for all your replies.Well i was thinking about going to the police but i havent really got any evidence and i think i would be wasting there time.Obviously since then ive brushed my teeth and washed my mouth out like 50,000 times.

 

Ive tried to forget about it but everytime i close my eyes i can see him it make me feel sick.

 

I havent talked to anyone else about it but i kept thinking my bf thought i was lying because he just doesnt seem to be bothered.His sister was raped ages ago and he always gets so angry about that and says he wants to kill the person who did it and when i asked about it ages ago he got angry with me and said he didnt want to talk about it but all his family where going to kick his head in.I asked him why he was so upset for his sister but with me its like hes not bothered(i know it wasnt as bad but it did scare me).

 

His sister died not long ago and she was only 22 the same age as me.I was there for him and helped him through it,so why isnt he there for me.I feel so alone.I understand that hes still upset about his sister but does that mean that i have to just deal with it on my own?

Maybe im being selfish because losing someone like that is a big deal.Maybe he just doesnt want anymore complications.

Miss, first of all, there is no way what you did leading up to the sick-o taxi pervert guy was your fault. No way. A woman has the absolute right not to do anything she doesn't want to do. He forced you plain and simple and that is wrong. You absolutely should go to the police and report it. It is not your decision whether there is evidence or not. You are not a detective. Let the professionals do their jobs. Here's one reason why you must go: Today in the news where I live, a guy was charged with two counts of indecent assault. THe first one happened months ago but the person reported it. They police couldn't figure out the identity until recently when the second report was filed and then he was charged. You should report it. You did nothing wrong and don't be hard on yuorself. If your boyfriend is not supportive, just go on your own. THere are many many women's abuse groups to whom you could turn for support and sympathy. A person in your position should have nothing but sympathy and understanding as this was obviously a traumatic event for you.

 

Good luck.

[Toni_no12002]

Thanks everyone this is goin to sound stupid but im scared if i go to the police ill feel embarrased about actually saying what happened.I mean i couldnt bring myself to say it to my friend let alone someone i dont know

[Guest]

Thanks everyone this is goin to sound stupid but im scared if i go to the police ill feel embarrased about actually saying what happened.I mean i couldnt bring myself to say it to my friend let alone someone i dont know

 

There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Call them if you don't want to go there. Look up the police non-emergency number and just call. They'll likely hook you up with a female officer who you can confide in. You are by far not the first woman that this has happened to. They not only have heard it before, but they've seen much, much, much worse so they certainly won't think anything about it at all.

[Green]

Id be embaressed to but I think I could get over it by just telling myself the only way to get over the embaressed feeling is to tell the police

[IpAncA]

If you want to tell the police is up to you. Personally I would. I understand why you would be embarassed but they deal with this sort of stuff and even worse things everyday. Don't be embarassed because your not telling them something new. Go with a close friend for support.

 

This is why I think you should talk to someone about this because you've been through an emotional event and it AFFECTING you.

[Tete de poulet]

Thanks everyone this is goin to sound stupid but im scared if i go to the police ill feel embarrased about actually saying what happened.I mean i couldnt bring myself to say it to my friend let alone someone i dont know

Just go to the police. Don't think about what you are going to say. Just go first, then let them talk to you. You can always leave if you can't do it. Just go, stop worrying and thinking. It is part of the healing process for you to do this.

[tinktronik]

Toni, stop being embarrased by this. When I put myself into this sitch I feel automatically embarrased but then i think rationally . What were you supposed to do ?What this man did was WRONG!!!!! It was not your fault , and I bet he's done it many times before .You took the right actions, you had to much to drink so you got a taxi , thats what a good person does , it was this mans job to take you home , not kidnapp and molest you .You should report him , just so , if nothing else, the next time some girl goes in she's believed . What happens if some girl dissapears and the last person she was seen with was this taxi driver , but he seems squeeky clean? he gets overlooked . Call the abuse hotline , talk to someone there , please .And please report this .

[Green]

yeah they could probably get him with some sting operation maybe they'll send you back in the taxi with a wire

[CardPlay3r]

Hi there toni...first of all let me say sorry about what happened to you

 

Now...no of course it wasn't you fault, that is sexual assault/rape by any definition...he preyed on your fear and by his MO he sounds like a serial rapist... THAT is why you should go and report it to the police, to save others and do the right thing for yourself.

 

Even without physical evidence...you can demand to watch photos of all paki taxi drivers to identify him...might take a while but it is worth it.

 

Your bf is indeed an insensitive prick sorry to say..my advice would be to dump him.

 

Also you should get counselling because not talking about it will eat you up, it is free and private for any kind of sexual assault, either in person, over the phone and online...

 

You can check out this link as well for victims of sexual assault : http://www.rainn.org there you can see why you are feeling this way and the steps you need to take to recover...best to act soon because it gets worse before it gets better!

 

Take care,

 

CardPlay3r.

[RecordProducer]

Toni, sweetie, this is rape! He forced you to give him oral sex and threatened you. It's totally irrelevant whether you were drunk or sober. You did absolutely nothing to show him that you wanted the same and he can't have an excuse that you did it at your own desire. It was forced. And it was sex. Forced sex = rape. Did you want it? No. Did you let him know you didn't want it? Yes. Did he take "no" as an answer and respect your desire to go or did he threaten and force you to have sex with him? He forced you.

 

He is public transportation driver and you have a right to be drunk or mentally ill or scared or confused or even talking and smiling to him (which you didn't).

 

You should report him to the police as soon as possible. Believe me, if you tell them what happened exactly as you wrote it here, it will be obvious that it was rape. And since he is not a famous athlete or your girlfriend's ex-BF or your co-worker, no one will accuse you of setting him up or doubt the veracity of your story.

 

The police may find him. You are probably not the first case. Or the last. Think of all the girls before you and his future victims. But most of all, think of yourself. Please go to the police, it will make you feel better.

 

Even if he were just a guy who picked you up and not a taxi driver, he has no right to rape you. Period. Rape is a serious crime and he will go to jail if they find him. Don't you want that?

 

I am so sorry this happened to you. I feel for you with all my heart. As you may know, I was molested as a child by a step-father so I know how you feel.

 

About being embarrassed, that's a normal feeling, but believe me as much as you feel embarrassed, we who heard your story feel anger and compassion. The police will feel that it's their duty to find the criminal and put him where he belongs - to jail. Please don't let him get away with this! Please!!! You will suffer your whole life while he will walk free and rape girls.

 

Do your job and report him. If you're silent, you're willingly letting him get away with what he did to you and god knows how many other girls. You are willingly letting him do it again as many times as he wants until somebody reports him. Let that somebody be YOU. Stop the criminal from enjoying his life while hurting others... you.

 

Just take a deep breath and go to the police. They will interview you, it will only last for 20-30 minutes and then they will let you go. They will not ask you to describe the act, they might ask you questions such as what car he drove, where he picked you up, what he looked like, etc. It's OK if you don't remember. Tell them you were tired and had a few drinks. It's OK to have a few drinks and take a taxi. Drinking and taking a cab is legal - RAPE IS NOT LEGAL. HE broke the law, not you!!! The police will not judge your habits, personality, moral values or ability to defned yourself and oppose to violent starngers when you're scared. The police has only one task - to decide if he broke the law or not. That's all. He broke the law and he has to pay for that before the legal system. Besides, the policemen are also people who have daughters, wives, sisters, and mothers. They feel a lot of compassion for victims of any kind of abuse, trust me on this! And THEY ARE THE LAW so their vanity doesn't like when people dare mess with the law and disrespect their mission. They ARE after criminals and want to catch them, but you have to let them know the law was broken and you're the victim.

 

It's possible that he circulates through the same streets and clubs and that they will easily find him.

 

Your BF is a total jerk! He doesn't like it that you go out alone and drink so he is subconsciously glad that something like this happened so that you stop going out alone. Instead of feeling compassion, rage, and desire to catch the offender, he tells you to forget it. Don't let this ass hole tell you what he wants you to do, which is what he thinks is best for him, not for you.

 

Reporting him will only take an hour of hassle; suffering will take a lifetime, not to mention that you will resent your BF for the rest of your life, because he didn't protect your feelings. You won't forget, Toni. You can't forget. We never do. Neither forget nor forgive. Things like this leave scars forever.

 

But what you can do to change the path and cure your pain is to report him and know that he is punished. You WILL forget it if you know that he wilts in prison for what he did to you. Your trauma lasted for a few days, but his traumatic experience in jail will last for a few years. THAT will make you feel soooooooooooooo good.

 

I wish I could sue the bastard who molested me, but it's a very old case, the court would ask too many questions, and when I was seriously thinking of pressing the charges, I got married and moved to the US.

 

When I was 23, my mom and I wanted to press the charges, but her jerk lawyer told us to forgive. To forgive!!!!! He must be one of those molesters, too! And he is a famous attorney in my former country!

 

But I was pregnant at the time and couldn't go through the pain. but I went through much worse pain - facing the reality of being damaged (full of anger and rage) and the fact that he got away with it - destroying my childhood, turning me into an alcoholic (I quit just a few months ago afetr drinking for many years), making me an emotional wreck, just for his temporary sexual pleasure.

 

It took me many years to get over it. But I never forgot or forgave.

 

Go to the police NOW, no matter what time it is. Just call them and tell them your name and that you want to report a case of rape, then ask them to schedule an appointment. Do it, honey! Please!