funkify Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 I'd like to hear from those of you who were in long-term relationships and expected to marry that person however you knew they were not the One. What made you feel that way? I'm not talking about obvious reasons like abuse and general bad behaviour from your partner. Sometimes your partner could've been almost perfect yet you knew they were not the one for you. They say this 'intuition' comes with age or experience, and so I'd like from the wisdom of those who've travelled more in life and love. Hopefully this thread with help others out there too. Link to post Share on other sites
josie54 Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I'm still in my long-term engagement with someone who I'm pretty sure isn't "the one." How do I know? --I'll say something to him hoping for a certain reaction (excitement, laughter, etc.) and feel lost when I get something different --he'll do something that I should find endearing (sing his little songs, try to cheer me up with his kisses and jokes), but I find it just annoys me --he wants to hold me, but I just want to turn away That's how I think I know. But then, there are times when something happens and I just want to tell him first. I imagine breaking away and living on my and I just feel lost thinking of being without him. I think of how we get along so well and support each other so much. Then I wonder whether the conflicts between my expectations of "the One" and the reality I should be appreciating in the here and now are the problem. It's horrible to be stuck this way, but that's the way it is. As you say, I hope this discussion helps others who are or have been in this position! Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 I don't know if this will help anyone or not but it is something I heard in a relationship class... There are 21 characteristics for each of two categories, you pick the top 8 from each list that you must have (or not have) in a relationship, try to not think of your SO while doing this. Then compare your list to your SO, if you have one, or use it to determine if someone is worth pursuing in the long run. Potential Must Haves: 1. Emotional Health 2. Authenticity 3. Intelligence 4. Financial Security 5. Personal Habits (cleaning, cooking, etc) 6. How they deal with conflict 7. Interest in children 8. Shared interests 9. Height/ body type/shape 10. Values/morals 11. Ambition 12. Sexual past (or lack there of) 13. skills 14. ambition 15. clothing style 16. verbal intimacy 17. Energy Level 18. Education 19. Financial Security 20. Religious affiliation 21. political views Potential Can't Stands: 1. Financial Irresponsibility 2. Gambling 3. Procrastination 4. Shyness 5. Wreckless driving 6. lying 7. cheating 8. dependency issues 9. gossiping 10. fanaticism 11. penny pinching 12. sloppiness 13. dominating 14. anger mismanagement 15. sexual obsessiveness 16. porn 17. laziness 18. arrogance 19. differing music/tv/movie preferences 20. religious intolerance 21. drinking/drug use Link to post Share on other sites
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