blind_otter Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 [Vent] So I got this mass email from my older sister and she referred to my other sister as "the sane one" -- which ostensibly makes me "the insane one". Let's just forget that I could sit here and give her a laundry list of ISSUES that she has that make her mentally ill. The only difference, in fact, between my sisters and I is that I admit I have problems and I get help. I admit my weaknesses. My life is far, FAR from perfect. But it seems to me that it's really really REALLY sick to sit there like Miss Molly Sunshine pretending that your own life is so great and poor poor little crazy sister who can't get herself together. You know what, sister? **** being conventional. **** being "normal". **** mini vans and soccer practice and **** having a husband and a white picket fence. **** being like everyone else. I don't want to and I never wanted to. I tried to want to, but I just couldn't do it. And wtf do you expect me to be all warm and loving towards you when you belittle me so casually? No. I can't. I love you, I talk to you, but I keep part of myself protected from you because YOU ARE JUST LIKE OUR MOTHER. And we all know how crazy SHE was. [/vent] Link to post Share on other sites
The slayer Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 **** Judgemental sisters. I think you're great BO and I certainly wouldn't want to be the sane one in her crazy world xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 With you all the way BO.....hugs sis! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Sanity is overrated. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted November 16, 2006 Author Share Posted November 16, 2006 Awwww. I feel better now that I got that off my chest. It would do no good to say it to anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
Moose Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Awwww. I feel better now that I got that off my chest. It would do no good to say it to anyone else. Just a thought, but the sister who sent the email sounds like she's put herself in the, "insane", column right along with ya......maybe she's on your side? Link to post Share on other sites
The slayer Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 In my experience it's the most screwed up who are always quite convinced they are sane and it's everyone else who is mad. Those of us who embrace our flaws and try to do something about it are the least crazy Just saying! Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted November 16, 2006 Author Share Posted November 16, 2006 I watched my cat kill a squirrel through my window and then watched the cat vigorously eat the squirrel's head. This, I find entertaining. Obviously, I'm crazy. But I think that means I'm more easily entertained, so I guess I break even. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted November 16, 2006 Author Share Posted November 16, 2006 Just a thought, but the sister who sent the email sounds like she's put herself in the, "insane", column right along with ya......maybe she's on your side? Well that's a good positive thought. Regardless of whether it's true, I'm going to go with this interpretation. She's on my side. She does love me and I'm just irrationally irritable right now because I miss papa. I mean, she did send me one of those "get to know you" survey emails. Maybe she's trying to get closer to me. Thanks, Moose. At least I got to have an angry tirade today. It's been days, and the pressure was almost too much to bear. Link to post Share on other sites
tanbark813 Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 Punch her in the ovaries, BO! Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 I kinda wish everyone in my family thought I was the insane one...then maybe they would stop expecting me to be "normal" and have the "accepted" lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
Author blind_otter Posted November 16, 2006 Author Share Posted November 16, 2006 I'm going with the good interpretation, but I'm going to watch my back. muahahahaaaaa. No, my mom told me in a fit of gossip that my sis's aren't doing well in the coping department. My chaotic life has prepared me for grief, and losing my two babies as well. Not that it doesn't affect me, it does, a lot -- but I know what to do. I don't think they do. I hope they do. I pray that they do. Or that they learn fast. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted November 16, 2006 Share Posted November 16, 2006 I love you, I talk to you, but I keep part of myself protected from you because YOU ARE JUST LIKE OUR MOTHER. And we all know how crazy SHE was. Do you ever tell her this B_O? I told my sister she's just like our dad. It sort of seemed to bother her. mwahahahaha too! Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I kinda wish everyone in my family thought I was the insane one...then maybe they would stop expecting me to be "normal" and have the "accepted" lifestyle. So, Nora..how would your lifestyle be different if your family didn't expect you to be normal and have the "accepted" lifestyle? Would you be living in a commune? Would you shave your head and get a tattoo? Would you "turn on, tune in, and drop out?" So how would it really be diffent. Reveal ALL NJ! (Sorry for the hijack but inquiring minds want to know!) Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 So, Nora..how would your lifestyle be different if your family didn't expect you to be normal and have the "accepted" lifestyle? Would you be living in a commune? Would you shave your head and get a tattoo? Would you "turn on, tune in, and drop out?" So how would it really be diffent. Reveal ALL NJ! (Sorry for the hijack but inquiring minds want to know!) Ah, well, I already have the tattoo and did plenty of turning and tuning in, though never dropping out. No commune either, although 6 years in San Francisco might count... What would be different is that I wouldn't have this nagging sense of having deeply disappointed my parents by not marrying and not having children. They love me, but they are saddened that I haven't done this. They think I've missed out on the best in life. If I had done only that - marry and have kids - and had done nothing else (no college, no grad school, no career, no travel, no nothing), they'd be so much happier. They mean well. They're just sad for me. With a boyfriend who never wants to get married, and no kids not in my future, I'm afraid I'll have to live with their spoken and unspoken grief forever. They keep hoping; they keep telling me it's not too late. They keep wishing... Link to post Share on other sites
Island Girl Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I feel your pain B_O. I have the 'perfect' sister who is a complete psycho. She caused irrepairable damage in the household my whole life. Now she is a condescending B*TCH -- stronger words here preferable - and now that I have refused to deal with her and have shut her out of my life, I am the horrible one who is destroying the family. I dread the holidays because of the inevitable "who's coming for Thanksgiving or Christmas, etc.". If she's there I won't be so she's viewed as trying whereas I am not trying because I refuse to be around her. She is judgemental - her children sadly have become just as judgmental and condescending -- and suffering through an entire day of being trested badly is just a waste of my time. UGH. She of course is the 'soccer mom-minivan owner- with the house, kids, etc.' I am the black sheep. Always the black sheep. It's funny because I am the square amongst anyone I know. whew. that feels good to get that OUT Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Oh hell. Wear the label with pride. Add 'Eccentric' to it and *really* have a good time! 'Sane' is often used to mean 'predictable, regular' i.e. mundane. I doubt it was meant to be a hurtful remark - it's the kind of thing people toss off thoughtlessly because they lack better adjectives. Of course she was reaching for 'unique' Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Oh hell. Wear the label with pride. Add 'Eccentric' to it and *really* have a good time! 'Sane' is often used to mean 'predictable, regular' i.e. mundane. I doubt it was meant to be a hurtful remark - it's the kind of thing people toss off thoughtlessly because they lack better adjectives. Of course she was reaching for 'unique' I agree with this logic. A couple weeks ago I was out to dinner with my girl cousin's from my mom's side. We do that periodically. Get together. Anyway, someone made the comment that I'm "crazy". I responded "yep. just ask my shrink, psychologist, or my psychotherapist". And yes, I agree with whoever said the ones who refuse to see their problems and get help for them are the really crazy ones! Your sister sounds like she needs to knock you down to make herself feel better. People like that piss me off. Link to post Share on other sites
burning 4 revenge Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 I watched my cat kill a squirrel through my window and then watched the cat vigorously eat the squirrel's head. This, I find entertaining. I don't know why, but this turned me on Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 BO just an observation....... you keep posting about your need for your family to love you in so many words. To accept you. Your Mom totally rides your ass, your sister makes these comments. So the only thing I can think of is it would not bother you so much if you were comfy in your own skin. Maybe by learning to love and accept yourself you would not have so many doubts that they do care? I don't know just stabbing at it. And just because you shot out of a persons vagina or share DNA is sometimes not enough to cause real 'love' / bonding to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
tinktronik Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Hahahahaha....... I know just how you feel .I have the perfect "normal" sucessfull older sister . Her life seems so perfect . Handsome H , 3 kids , picket fence . She tries to do comparison , calls around and makes comments about me . But you know what , I know her h fu**s around and they swing on weekends with overweight girls , I know she sells babies for a living , I know she gets angry and smacks her daughter in the face . I know that she is so unhappy with her life she pulls off the road on her way to work and climbs into the backseat to cry herself to sleep and is late for work. I know she has a bingo gambling problem , and that her MIL hates her . I know that she starves herself to try and be as thin as she was at seventeen and I kow that her family is drowning in debt. I know that she tries to knock me to make her own life look better . I feel sorry for her. So I don't tell her the sucessfull things about my life , i don't tell her that last year I bought a home , I don't tell her that all of my bills are paid off and that I am out of debt. I don't tell her that while I may too get frustrated with my relationship , I am happier than ever with who im with and everyone loves him esecially me . I don't tell her that my rel . with my exH is better than it's ever been and we are getting along . I don't tell her anything really , and she calls around and talks about how I need to get my life together with people who do not tell her that I have, and they know it . They just let her talk and see what she is really like . So,,, who's the sane one? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 mom told me in a fit of gossip that my sis's aren't doing well in the coping department. coupling that with Moose's observation about your sister possibly not counting herself as sane makes me wonder if maybe that's what she meant by other sister being the sane one? That maybe she's seemingly doing a better job than her at coping with y'alls loss? other thought is that maybe she's trying to suck up (in a way) to y'alls other sister? either which way, enjoy being a nonlinear thinker and one-of-a-kind. Remember, their kids are going to be the ones to benefit from it. Bwahahahahaha .... Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 Tink does it get under your skin though? I mean do you have a desire to having a loving R with her to the point where it hurts you to not have it? Hope this is not jackin' the thread. Is it? But trying to understand why there is this need to feel so loved and accepted by those that share DNA with you. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 trying to understand why there is this need to feel so loved and accepted by those that share DNA with you. I think that's something our parents pound into our heads without realizing (or acknowleging) the fact that shared DNA doesn't automatically create a love bond. And so to be "good," we perpetuate the "you've got to love each other because you're all each other has" garbage. Lord knows my sweet mama would get onto me for being so gripey about and unhappy with my sisters, and I had a time of it explaining that just because you love someone it doesn't necessarily mean you have to LIKE them. Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted November 17, 2006 Share Posted November 17, 2006 trying to understand why there is this need to feel so loved and accepted by those that share DNA with you. I think that's something our parents pound into our heads without realizing (or acknowleging) the fact that shared DNA doesn't automatically create a love bond. And so to be "good," we perpetuate the "you've got to love each other because you're all each other has" garbage. Lord knows my sweet mama would get onto me for being so gripey about and unhappy with my sisters, and I had a time of it explaining that just because you love someone it doesn't necessarily mean you have to LIKE them. I must have missed that pounding! :lmao: If a person is toxic regardless of DNA or not they are not welcome in my life. I may have to tolerate them, but I don't feel the extreme need to have them love, like, or accept me. I am a fruckin' weirdo! Link to post Share on other sites
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