Bf got mad cause I changed my mind about paying his car ticket?

[cutegirl]

Then pay the ticket. It's not fair for him to pay it, even if it was his car that got the ticket. Plain and simple.

 

You do know how much $$ you could save if you both learned to cook, and bought stuff so you wouldn't have to order out or go out all the time for dinner/lunch etc...If he has stomach problems there are great receipes to try and help his digestive system be better.

 

We cook sometimes but I'm not a housewife, I don't actually cook everyday and serve him like he's the man out of the house or something. I don't believe in women having to do the majority of housework, cooking, cleaning etc.

 

I do cook but simple stuff to eat and for myself, like eggs and pasta but I don't cook for him and serve him every day. I'm actually a feminist and don't believe in cooking or cleaning for my guy. I refuse to do that. I know it's lame because I end up paying for him which is just as lame, but in a weird way it makes me feel empowered, like I'm the dominant one, and I kind of like that feeling.

 

I think my boyfriend sometimes is a bit embarassed because he says I always make him look bad. I know his family and his sister is my close friend, and I do have some kind of low self esteem thing where I have to brag all the time, so I brag a lot to his family how I pay for this and that and how my bf makes nothing and doesn't pay for jack crap, so in a way he does have to pay for it emotionally.

 

I still don't get why he has to look cool in front of his bro and can't ask another man for money but he can ask me so easily. It kind of hurts my pride like I'm not as important as his bro cause he doesn't care about impressing me.

[Touche]

He spends a lot of money on eating out because of what you say here:

 

His excuse is that he has a digestion problem and low quality food makes him sick.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/smilies/laugh.gif

That's TOTAL BS! Let him go to the supermarket and buy fresh fish and vegetables. They're very easy to cookk and very easy. He doesn't HAVE to eat out so often. Do you really buy this BS?

 

Wow, girl! When will you get your head out of the sand?

[cutegirl]

He spends a lot of money on eating out because of what you say here:

 

 

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/images/smilies/laugh.gif

That's TOTAL BS! Let him go to the supermarket and buy fresh fish and vegetables. They're very easy to cookk and very easy. He doesn't HAVE to eat out so often. Do you really buy this BS?

 

Wow, girl! When will you get your head out of the sand?

 

No he does cook too sometimes. He eats out a lot, but he does cook, always salmon and fresh veggies, but even though he cooks he always ends up eating out a lot still. When he USED to work he was always too lazy or never had time to pack his lunch so he would eat out everyday. And even though he cooks sometimes, often he'll be lazy. Either way he still ends up spending all his money mostly on food.

 

It's not bs, cause I look at his bank statement. I can see every transaction and it's like all restaurants.

He's lazy a lot and doesn't have energy to cook all the time.

 

He doesn't feel it's waste of money. He likes fine food. Plus he doesn't make a lot so that's basically all his money!

[Touche]

Wow! Cool, cutegirl. Keep paying his way. Like I said, he's a gigolo, so what does that make you?

[cutegirl]

Wow! Cool, cutegirl. Keep paying his way. Like I said, he's a gigolo, so what does that make you?

 

How am I paying for his way when I refused to pay the ticket?

 

Lots of girls are gold diggers/prostitutes too, so what makes the guy? A John?

 

At least I don't have to BE the gold digger, I don't feel like I'm paying him to be with him. He is just mentally a 12 year old and can't help himself.

[jerbear]

Larger issues aside:

 

If you agree to pay for something especially with an SO then change your mind, it is your perogative. He has a privledge to be mad because he was counting on you to back him up. So just this tiny portion of a larger issue, I suggest paying the $100.

 

Larger issues:

 

You two are not married and you are not his mother.

 

First it is not your fault that your two cars are parked in the two spots. You pay rent consitantly versus his inconsistent payment behavior. He is your guest not the other way around.

 

Why doesn't he sell the other car to cut his expenses down? I'm sure it costs more than $100 to insure that thing for 1 year.

 

What is this $400 to get his other car for street cleaning? Sounds like he is car poor.

 

If he is spending $1000 on food, does he share that food with you? $1000 is alot on food and he still does not have $100. Low quality food messes up his digestive system. I'm sure it passes quick with time! :lmao: At 26 and having digestive issues, he might want to see what he is allergic to. I'll let Darwin take over here, he who can't eat, dies... or his case; move back home.

 

He is clingy to your money while you are clingy to his attention. Cut off his money supply and see what happens. You not being able to be alone puts one into these situations of dependencies.

 

If he has never been on his own; wait till you two start figuring out who stays home when kid #1 arrives. Having a dependent is not easy. I don't think you want 3 mouths to feed. (yours, his, and kiddo #1)

 

Finances are one of the reasons why couples divorce, one spends while the other one saves. The saver will eventually resent the spender and view that person as dead weight on a sinking ship. You being 28, wait till you are 30 or 35; your views will change.

 

If he won't ask his older brother for a loan because of pride and family, hmm... who does he live with again and want a future with?

 

Since you made a post, I believe it are larger issues that you are avoiding.

[Touche]

How am I paying for his way when I refused to pay the ticket?

 

Lots of girls are gold diggers/prostitutes too, so what makes the guy? A John?

 

At least I don't have to BE the gold digger, I don't feel like I'm paying him to be with him. He is just mentally a 12 year old and can't help himself.

 

You ARE paying to be with him. So what? Big deal? You refused to pay ONE thing. wow. You're still paying for him to live with you.

 

And yes, if a man is paying a woman's way he's a pimp. A John..whatever you want to call it.

 

Fine, cutegirl. Stay with a man who is mentally a 12 year old and can't help himself as you say.

 

Again, if it's not a problem then why are you asking if you're wrong? Yes, it's wrong that you changed your mind about paying for your gigolo's ticket.

 

I'm done here.

[cutegirl]

Larger issues aside:

 

If you agree to pay for something especially with an SO then change your mind, it is your perogative. He has a privledge to be mad because he was counting on you to back him up. So just this tiny portion of a larger issue, I suggest paying the $100.

 

Larger issues:

 

You two are not married and you are not his mother.

 

First it is not your fault that your two cars are parked in the two spots. You pay rent consitantly versus his inconsistent payment behavior. He is your guest not the other way around.

 

Why doesn't he sell the other car to cut his expenses down? I'm sure it costs more than $100 to insure that thing for 1 year.

 

What is this $400 to get his other car for street cleaning? Sounds like he is car poor.

 

If he is spending $1000 on food, does he share that food with you? $1000 is alot on food and he still does not have $100. Low quality food messes up his digestive system. I'm sure it passes quick with time! :lmao: At 26 and having digestive issues, he might want to see what he is allergic to. I'll let Darwin take over here, he who can't eat, dies... or his case; move back home.

 

He is clingy to your money while you are clingy to his attention. Cut off his money supply and see what happens. You not being able to be alone puts one into these situations of dependencies.

 

If he has never been on his own; wait till you two start figuring out who stays home when kid #1 arrives. Having a dependent is not easy. I don't think you want 3 mouths to feed. (yours, his, and kiddo #1)

 

Finances are one of the reasons why couples divorce, one spends while the other one saves. The saver will eventually resent the spender and view that person as dead weight on a sinking ship. You being 28, wait till you are 30 or 35; your views will change.

 

If he won't ask his older brother for a loan because of pride and family, hmm... who does he live with again and want a future with?

 

Since you made a post, I believe it are larger issues that you are avoiding.

 

About the parking spots, he reverses it on me and claims the reason why he doesn't pay rent consistently or part of the rent is due to the fact that he has no parking spot.

 

About the tickets, he had an old car and bought a new one and didn't get a chance to sell the old one yet cause he couldn't find the title. So he was parking both cars outside and was getting tickets on it all the time for street sweeping. I paid for ALL those tickets btw. In addition, at one point the old car he had wasn't working and it was just parked somewhere and got towed, so I had to pay for that one too. It's kinda confusing but it's a combo of street sweeping tickets and towing stuff cause I took up two spots.

 

As for sharing the food, yea sometimes when he used to have left overs he would bring it home and I would eat it. Sometimes when he buys groceries I eat that too. So yea, I guess you could say we share it together. Sometimes he eats by himself too.

 

As for kids, I would never want to have a kid. I just don't like children and don't want to raise one or dedicate my life to one. My bf is enough for me. Or if not I can be fine single, I just don't want or like kids.

 

About the digestion thing, my bf is a little bit of a hypochondriac. At one time he was really hypochondriac but it kind of calmed down, now it's just mild in terms of his tolerance or imagined tolerance to particular foods.

[cutegirl]

You ARE paying to be with him. So what? Big deal? You refused to pay ONE thing. wow. You're still paying for him to live with you.

 

And yes, if a man is paying a woman's way he's a pimp. A John..whatever you want to call it.

 

Fine, cutegirl. Stay with a man who is mentally a 12 year old and can't help himself as you say.

 

Again, if it's not a problem then why are you asking if you're wrong? Yes, it's wrong that you changed your mind about paying for your gigolo's ticket.

 

I'm done here.

 

Don't the majority of guys pay for girls anyways? Most of the time they do. So why is it so bad if a woman does it?

 

I know neither are exactly commendable, but in most relationships one party is more dominant than the other or one has more financial power than the other. It's never perfectly balanced or perfectly weighed out. Someone is going to have to pay regardless.

 

My bf claims he is paying for it emotionally cause he puts up with a lot of stuff from me, so he says he is paying too, in his own way.

[Touche]

Don't the majority of guys pay for girls anyways? Most of the time they do. So why is it so bad if a woman does it?

 

I know neither are exactly commendable, but in most relationships one party is more dominant than the other or one has more financial power than the other. It's never perfectly balanced or perfectly weighed out. Someone is going to have to pay regardless.

 

My bf claims he is paying for it emotionally cause he puts up with a lot of stuff from me, so he says he is paying too, in his own way.

 

:lmao: BULL! No, the majority of guys DON'T pay "for girls" as you put it...at least not THIS "girl."

 

Thanks for the laughs.

[cutegirl]

You ARE paying to be with him. So what? Big deal? You refused to pay ONE thing. wow. You're still paying for him to live with you.

 

And yes, if a man is paying a woman's way he's a pimp. A John..whatever you want to call it.

 

 

A pimp doesn't pay for girls. A pimp is someone who puts prostitutes on the street and takes all their money.

 

A "john" is slang for a male customer of a prostitute. a "john" is someone who pays for sex or company.

 

I don't think my bf is a "john" because he does really care for me. He just can't help being immature, in many ways he's still a child. For example when we get in fights he'll plug his fingers in his ears like a little kid and say "I can't hear you, all I hear is mumbling." In a way I think it's kinda endearing cause I think most people take themselves to seriously so he's like basically still a child at heart.

[cutegirl]

:lmao: BULL! No, the majority of guys DON'T pay "for girls" as you put it...at least not THIS "girl."

 

Thanks for the laughs.

 

Maybe not for you specifically but usually on dates it's customary for the guy to pay. Most girls expect to be pampered and expect guys to pay for them. Again, not you specifically, and not for me either, but in GENERAL that's how I see people behaving.

[Guest]

Your boyfriend is not the john, he's the prostitute. You are the female john.

 

You're always posting about how messed up your bf is and then you spend the entire time defending when you know everyone else is right, but you keep defending him in some sad attempt to justify your relationship. You shouldn't be wasting these nice people's time here. It's obvious you're never going to change so let them try to help people who want to be helped.

 

And to answer your question, if you say you're going to do something, then do it. So pay for the damn ticket and be quiet.

[wakeup]

Your boyfriend is not the john, he's the prostitute. You are the female john.

 

You're always posting about how messed up your bf is and then you spend the entire time defending when you know everyone else is right, but you keep defending him in some sad attempt to justify your relationship. You shouldn't be wasting these nice people's time here. It's obvious you're never going to change so let them try to help people who want to be helped.

 

And to answer your question, if you say you're going to do something, then do it. So pay for the ticket and don't think that because you're always paying for him you can act however you want.

[whichwayisup]

He is just mentally a 12 year old and can't help himself.

 

And you're not bettering him by helping him out so much with other area's in his life. He needs to DO more around your house, he also needs to grow up and realize that life isn't a free ride!! He needs to get out of the house and work, or atleast try and find a job.

[Mary3]

1. Is your boyfriend really attractive ?

 

This is NO mistake that he found YOU and certainly NO mistake that you found HIM. You are both feeding off eachother. ...

 

You guys don't try to convince OP of anything : Why ? Because if you read her beginning posts she wants to cling and she found someone that will let her cling : as long as she pays for everything.

 

When the gravytrain stops he will be gone. * But * OP will NOT stop the gravy train because she has him right where she wants him.

 

He is happy as a clam ! And so is she ! Two feeding off the other...kinda like Crustacsians...

 

He is 12 years old and she is the mommy. Only mommy is having sex with her son....thats the only twist here....

[wakeup]

you need to stop being verbally abusive towards him because it makes you feel guilty and then you feel like you owe him. you need to set limits on what you will buy for him. him demanding things because you extract energy or make him mad is ridiculous.

 

actually he is not a prostitute and you are not a john. he's more like your pimp, taking advantage of you emotionally and making you work and taking your money. yeah mentally he is just a child but he's more pimp than prostitute.

 

work on your self-esteem.

[Mary3]

Cut him off completely and see how long he hangs around....