Noticed my ex stealing a glance at me today...

[Krying]

If you want my recent life history, just click my name and see my posts lol. Long story short, my ex left me, hooked up with her hex, got married 3 weeks later and has a kid on the way already (reason wedding was probably so quick). Our breakup was bad and all from her end. He lied and wasn't honest with her feelings. I felt used, and also in deep pain as despite this, she was one of the greater loves of my life.

 

Ok, so at church today. I wasn't even aware she was there. I left to goto the bathroom and see someone out of the corner of my eye. It took me a few seconds to recognize her. He didn't look different, I guess I just wasn't expecting to see her. She didn't look happy to be honest, but I won't read too much into that. We all have our up and down days. Anyway as I'm going to the bathroom I notice her, and she's also looking at me too. The look in her eyes wasn't mean or hateful either. I'm not sure really what it was. Again maybe nothing, but for some reason it had an effect on me. What would she even be looking at me, when she left me so cold, quick and in the meanest way? I've lost weight since I was with her. All from the stress and pain from the breakup, but I gotta say I like it. I can see my abs again lol.

 

I would still make a deal with the devil to have her back in my life. But nothing at all will happen unless she contacts me. She's married. The same friends who told me I should be happy she left me, also tell me they don't see her marriage lasting 6-8months. Damn it when I hear that. That only get's my spirits up.

 

Anyway, I wonder why she was looking at me. We did make eye contact but there was no acknowledgment. It was in a church too so lots of people were around.

[Krying]

Seems my typing is horrid today. Lots of typos in that post. Can't seem to find the edit button on it. I kept saying He instead of She. It's a typo of course lol. I'm sure most of you will get the meaning of what I wrote.

[Spinderella]

LOL, yes a little bit confusing at first.

She has a kid on the way. I think you have to just move on and stop wondering what the look meant. I havent read your other posts, but, it isnt neccessary to know that you should move on with your own life, and forget her. If it upsets you to see her then try to avoid places where she is likely to be until you are over it. It doesnt really matter how long her marriage lasts or doesnt last, she has left you. Sorry, but you will feel much better soon enough if you stop harbouring hopes of getting together again.

[daphne]

This story isn't meant to get your hopes up, so don't let it.

 

A friend of mine's ex decided to go back to his ex of 10 years because of a stupid fantasy in his head that it would be better this time. My friend let him go and he told her "leave your things in my house and I'll leave my things in yours in case it doesn't work out." Of course she was astounded by his stupidity and removed her belongings. Her ex married his get within a month and were divorced in 6. He called my friend about a year later to see if he could get back with her. She strung him along for a couple of phone conversations before telling him that she was with teh love of her life. Even if she wasn't, she still didn't want him back.

 

She's gone. I know what you thought you had in her is still what you're in love with. But I doubt that the woman she is right now is what you wanted to begin with. Unless you're a masochist. Find someone who's going to be consistently the woman you want and not a fake.

[Krying]

Nice point daphne. The person I fell in love with was to some degree not the person I saw who rejected and then left me. I've seen the good and dark side of my ex. The optimist in me only sees the good things in her. I've never focused on the negative at all. I don't feel I've ignored them, but rather chose to not let them be an issue.

 

I'm sure to everyone else it's so clear what needs to happen at my end. Move one, forget her, find someone better. I can't ignore my feelings I still have for her. They receded after she left me, and I was coming to grips with it better. But more and more now, I'm starting to really notice I'm still deeply in love with this girl. Despite the fact she is married and all, hasn't lessened that. I thought it would since things were over in a definitive kind of way. Love is strange. Why are we attracted to people so much. She wasn't a super pretty girl either, yet my attraction for her was deep.

[daphne]

Krying,

 

I know it's not easy. But eventually she will be out of your head and you'll be able to see things as they are without the glow of love surrounding it and confusing everything.

 

I've found that people can fool us for a long period of time as to who they really are but breaking up shows us. When people need you they can pull out all of the stops to treat us well for an extended period of time but if they stop needing you, you become nothing. Not even worthy of being treated with dignity and respect. I've seen that happen quite a bit. It stings a great deal but you'll realize at some point that you don't want someone like that. It's an integrity thing.

 

I promise you, you'll be ok. Just live your life and move through this. It does get a whole lot better.

[TapaDingDong]

I know it hurts but the woman is no longer yours. She has signed a contract and you are not part of it. Let her struggle with her married life. She might make it, she might not. Please do not try to help as you will ruin things for her and yourself. Beleive me you wont be happy either way. If she stays with her husband, at least you will be able to forget quicker. Dont re-open the wounds. Snap out of it and dont let it dwell in your head. I wish I have listened before it all got to my health and well being. Good luck in life.

[Krying]

Tapa, I havn't been interfering with my ex's life. I've not contacted her, or helped her in anyway. I wish it was as simple as snapping out of it. Some days I feel good, others just terrible. To snap out of something like love for a person isn't for me something I can just turn off and it's gone. It seems to fade rather than just disappear.