Emotional cheating?

[bluescreenlife]

I'm interested in seeing what people think about this and if men and women think differently.

 

Scenario one: sexual cheating. The SO hooks up with a stranger at a bar and has a one-night stand.

 

Scenario two: so-called emotional cheating. The SO starts to confide in another man or woman, tell him/her the intimate details of their relationship, and look to them for emotional support.

 

I guess that in both cases, the SO isn't getting their needs (or demands) met in the first relationship and begins to look elsewhere. And hopefully not too many of us have had to experience the other side of that. So how do the two compare?

[LucreziaBorgia]

Personally, I would think that the emotional cheating was worse. With a ONS - its just sex. No time for fantasy building, no time for 'falling in love', no time for a building of an actual relationship. While it is hurtful to find out your partner has shared the sex act/their bodies with someone else, it can be far more hurtful to find out that they shared their heart with someone else.

 

An emotional affair can be far worse, because it does allow time for the building of a fantasy relationship. It does allow time for 'falling in love'. It does allow time for the building of an actual relationship. Trust builds between the OP and the MM/MW as they share confidences, bitch about each other's SO, and fall for each other as they compare notes about the "misery" they feel in thier primary relationships. As the emotional affair builds, so does sexual tension and the OP and MM/MW begin to desire each other on a level far more intangible than the blind desire of a ONS. They steal from their primary relationships and give that love/trust/desire to someone else.

 

ONS is mechanical swapping of bodily fluids. New p*ssy meeting new d*ck. No more, no less. EA is a swapping of emotions - something that leads to an actual relationship, which is devastating to the primary relationships.

[CarmenIbanez]

I agree. Falling in love with another is a bigger betrayal than just sex.

[Trialbyfire]

Yes, but both are cheating. When you have sex with a stranger, you risk STDs that you bring home to your significant other.

 

I agree that emotional cheating is the worst of the two. You share a piece of yourself with someone else which has the potential to grow to more and many times does. I think LB explained that aspect quite clearly. Also, it can erode badly on an existing relationship because the positive emotion that should have been invested into the existing one, gets transferred to the emotional one.