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Did I handle this well?


Teacher's Pet

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Teacher's Pet

Ok.....

 

Here's the situation.

 

A few months ago, I posted a personal ad online. I got a reply from a woman who thought I sounded sweet, but very quickly decided I wasn't her type.

 

I posted a new ad on the same site the other day. The same woman wrote me, and she wrote a VERY long and sweet reply to my ad.

 

I wrote her back, complimenting the sweetness of her message, and how genuine it sounded, and then reminded her I'm the same guy she rejected the last time, and I haven't changed since then.

 

I'm going to repost her letter, and then my reply....

 

*****SHE WROTE*****

 

Hello xxxxxxx:

 

You sound like a nice guy. Let me tell you a little about me.

 

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I am 31 years old, divorced and mother of an 8 year old son. I work as a legal assistant but currently I'm going to school for Nursing. I am hispanic (Cuban/Mexican - born here) and I am on the "thick" side. [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman]I am a very down to earth person, a simple woman with simple needs but extravagant feelings. I am more impressed by the simpler, more genuine gifts than material ones. It's the simpler things in life that do it for me! You know, one flower, a card in the mail, surprise visit at work, etc. I'm very versatile and will try anything once - maybe more if I liked it! I am honest to a fault and expect the same type of honesty in return. I don't like to play games with people and/or their feelings as I wouldn't like it done to me either. I think with the right person you can have as much fun out on the town as you can at home with a movie and take-out. I'm a hopeless romantic - yes, I cry at all the sappy movies! I love the hand holding and sweet words, public signs of affection, I think they are under-rated. I believe in communication, letting your partner know just how much he or she means to you. And yes, actions speak louder than words! Communication is key. I have a great personality, I like to laugh (whether it be at someone else or even myself) and have a good time. I love spontaneouity and can just pick up and go try something. I am definitely not shy! [/FONT][/sIZE]

[sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT][/sIZE]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]I feel that chemistry is key! You either "click" or you don't and it doesn't matter where you are. I enjoy a man who is smart, funny and down to earth. Someone who will talk back and not just listen and can have a stimulating conversation. CONTRADICT ME, PLEASE! Someone who will comfort me when I need to and who will let me comfort him as well. A man who can tell me what it is he wants from me and not just let me "guess". A man who is not afraid to tell me what he is thinking or how he feels about me - good or bad. I'm SO tired of the guessing game! A man who is a good partner and not just a good lover, who is able to do other things other than just have good sex (although that is a MUST). I DON'T like flashy men, mama's boys or someone who is out just for a quick lay. I can get that anywhere - anytime. I want someone with a little substance with whom to create something meaningful with. Someone who is different from the rest, who is a thinker, and is willing to explore me, himself and us. I love a man who can make me laugh and think outside the box and can smile from their heart. Someone that can laugh at my silly jokes and can tell me when my jokes are not too silly. OH YES, and a man that can kiss great.........tell me a story with his eyes... thats not TOO much to ask for ?????? Is it? :) [/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Ummm - I think I just rambled!!!!!! :) [/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]xxxxxx[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]And this was my reply:[/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

I have to say...

 

That was one of the sweetest, cutest, and most touching posts I've ever seen. :)

 

I can certainly tell you are a sweet and loving person with a lot to offer.

 

I feel the same way you do, about what I want in a person.

 

I want someone I can really TALK to, and even have debates with. I love to be contradicted, because it keeps things interesting.

 

I want a partner who I can turn to for more than just "physical activity", I want someone who will also be a real friend, and truly a "partner in life".

 

I consider myself to be very affectionate. I LOVE holding hands and kissing in public. :) I don't believe that a couple should only "look like a couple" at certain times. When two people care deeply about each other, it should be obvious 24/7.

 

Of course, a sense humor is a requirement of mine, as I consider myself to be VERY funny. To me, there is no bigger turn-on than a woman with a great (even silly...heck..even raunchy!) sense of humor. Humor shows a lot about a person, and it's a beautiful trait to see in someone.

 

When I find a person with all of those traits, I know that's the person to really hold onto. Relationships are never easy, but a good one is worth the work. No one is perfect, but if we keep searching for perfection, at the end of the day, we have nothing but ourselves to blame for our loneliness.

 

It's that "perfect enough", that I am searching for.

 

But, sadly, you did "reject" me the last time around, and well, I'm still the same person I was then, so....... I don't know if that changes anything between "us".

 

Good luck to you and your wonderful son.

 

xxxxxxx

 

 

 

Did I handle this properly? Did I come off like a jerk?

 

Honestly, it felt pretty damned good to make her "waste her time" writing me.

 

I know, I know...I'm a jerk, but you know something? The old me would jump at having a second chance with someone as seemingly sweet as her.

 

The new me has to stand up for myself, now and then.

 

I guess the ball is in her court now, but I'm not holding my breath, either.

 

-tp

taking a stand

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Hi,

 

Did I handle this properly? Did I come off like a jerk?

 

Tp, when it comes to words you are "the man".

 

If I were to choose someone to write something beautiful and touching, I'd choose you, for sure.

 

You handled it amazingly, good luck there (and don't be too fast to judge "a sweet and loving person with a lot to offer," they might turn out to be the devil)

 

Ariadne

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her letter to you sounds a but like a form letter that she just cuts and pastes.. maybe adjusts a tad...

 

I would've not even sent her a reply..

but your reply seemed a bit bitter to mention that she missed her chance with you the first time.. but it doesn't matter since you were blowing her off...

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Teacher's Pet

Well, if and when she replies, I'll post it here. :)

 

-tp

living vicariously through myself

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I would've not even sent her a reply..

but your reply seemed a bit bitter to mention that she missed her chance with you the first time..

exactly A_C!!! his reply reeks of quiet desperation. From her POV, she didn't "miss" anything since she wasn't interested to begin with.

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