Guest999 Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 I hate to admit it but over the years, my brother's ego has gotten bigger and bigger. We used to be pretty cool and close and we still are for the most part. But i feel like kicking his ### sometimes. One of the major reasons for this is his fiance. She's not working and graduated a few months ago. i don't think she ever plans to work...she's quiet/introvert (possibly submissive?), so she doesn't make any decisions for herself due to her upbringing. My bro makes a lot of their decisions, he's calling the shots...so in effect he's reinforcing her lack of decision-making/independence. Another reason, he's the oldest sibling in the family. For that fact he might be wiser about certain things, and from that my mom has sought advice from him for several years...which adds to his ego. but not so much as of late as she's been coming to me about it since im more available. My bro is 26, Im 22 ------------------------------------------------------ I dont know if this history is relevant but: My bro went away for college, i stayed behind. when he was in college, all he did was party and go to school, while my parents sent him money occasionally and bought him a car. he didnt NEED a car to get back and forth, but he got it to raise his social value and feed his ego. My role in this is I'm the middle child as for me, I've been going to school and work since sophomore year using my own money. I've gone on trips to other countries with my friends who are the same age as him. As soon as I graduate I'm moving out. My bro was out of the picture for the better half of my life as he was away for college and got his own place thereafter. So as it is, i played the role of the eldest in the family when he was away. ------------------------------------------------------------ All I know is he still looks down on me, and i think the biggest reason for that is I'm still living at home. He looks down at people who decides to stay in this city (NYC), he has some kind of misconception that you cant grow unless you go away for college. Even now, anytime he visits or something happens, he'll try to call the shots like he owns the place. last month, when i found out about a certain health problem he was demanding I not go through with surgery (which he knew nothing about). When I already did the research and spoke to doctors about it who say it's a normal successful procedure. Next summer, me and the family are flying to another country for his wedding. My mom spilled the beans and told me he might be asking his friend to show us the way (in the airport) cause he doesn't trust that i know the way. My mom trusts me, she knows I know the way because I've traveled before. When I was a kid, i used to look up to him for answers and knowledge. But now, I don't give a crap whether he looks down on me. i have no reason to seek his validation/approval for anything in this matter. He is a bit of a control freak, and has to have things go his way...which he expects. If it doesn't then it means he's not in control of the situation, which takes a blow to his ego. I find that insecure/low self-esteem people are more prone to bossing around/desiring control. A person that's truly comfortable with himself and of others give people space and accepts/is open to opinions/decisions of others. A mature person knows that giving someone a chance to prove themselves/make mistakes is part of life and growing up. One thing I've always learned in dealing with people is never offer your opinion unless asked for...well he does the opposite and tells you what to do. I've been passive in cooperating with his behavior but i don't know if it's worth it anymore....probably it's just reinforcing his bad behavior? A few times i backfired on his behavior and he's all jolly and smiling. what do you guys think? should I backfire every time he tries to be the boss or just let it slide? Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 My brother is also 26, but I'm the older sister. To tell you the truth, I think a lot of your brother's ego is just him trying to assert himself. I think it's just the age, because there's a certain amount of manly grunting and chest beating a man that age has to do to let everyone know he's coming into his own. It's your job as his sister to remind him that he's still the same dweeb you used to fight with as children, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 My brother is also 26, but I'm the older sister. To tell you the truth, I think a lot of your brother's ego is just him trying to assert himself. I think it's just the age, because there's a certain amount of manly grunting and chest beating a man that age has to do to let everyone know he's coming into his own. It's your job as his sister to remind him that he's still the same dweeb you used to fight with as children, etc. Hahahaha, perfect. If it really bothers you, just take him to task for it so that he understands that what he's doing bothers you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest999 Posted November 20, 2006 Share Posted November 20, 2006 My brother is also 26, but I'm the older sister. To tell you the truth, I think a lot of your brother's ego is just him trying to assert himself. I think it's just the age, because there's a certain amount of manly grunting and chest beating a man that age has to do to let everyone know he's coming into his own. It's your job as his sister to remind him that he's still the same dweeb you used to fight with as children, etc. First off, I'm a guy. Second off, he has no right to assert himself in that behavior with me or anyone else especially since he doesn't live with us anymore. Forget it, next time he passes the line with me ill just tell him to f**k off. Link to post Share on other sites
Kittiecat Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 First off, I'm a guy. Second off, he has no right to assert himself in that behavior with me or anyone else especially since he doesn't live with us anymore. Forget it, next time he passes the line with me ill just tell him to f**k off. Sorry, my mistake. Listen, if your bro annoys you, you are 100% within your right to beat the tar out of him. That's what brothers do. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted November 21, 2006 Share Posted November 21, 2006 should I backfire every time he tries to be the boss or just let it slide? You're just a baby. Of course he knows best. Those few extra years make all the difference, you'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
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