How many times do you think about cheating?

[Firefox]

Hallo real world, I'm newbie here. I just had this question in my head alot and I'm not sure if it has been posted. I'm just curious about all you guys and wanted to know how much does it come in your mind at work, when you go shopping, at the gym, or other public places. What do you do when a man/woman smiles at you and captures your perpetual attention? What comes in your mind at that instance? I hope I created a good scenario.

I'm not here to flame or send you to hell, lol, I'm just a neutral human being like all of us in here.

[aeren944]

I dunno, maybe I'm weird, but I really don't think about it. There's times when a waitress or clerk will flirt with me. I flirt right back, but I don't even think about the cheating aspect of it. I think, when someone's in a good relationship, it gives that person confidence. Confidence is detectable by the opposite sex, and it leads to a few more smiles and flirtatious remarks. It's fun to flirt, just because it's fun to be charming or whatever. For me, though, the whole cheating thing doesn't really enter my head. I have to know someone on a deeper level than just a smile or a light conversation. It's not like I try to avoid thinking about cheating, I just naturally don't think that way... it's how I'm wired. But, I suppose if I wasn't in a good relationship, or if I was unhappy enough to start exploring other options, I might think about it a bit more.

[jstkpswmg]

I used to think the same way as aeren944, but in the last year my marriage crumbled. It is not that I thought about cheating, I didn't say to myself "I am going to cheat on my husband"

 

Instead it was that another relationship slowly became more intimate and I've now been able to emotionally cheat on my husband.

 

I agree with the confidence you have when you are happy in a relationship with someone and you have the attractive qualities to receive and give flirtatious comments and be friendly and you know your boundaries and respect them.

 

For me, at some point, which I haven't detected exactly when or where or how it happened, but at some point I kept my confidence because I am still married and I crossed the line of what is "appropriate" and what is not.

 

Before this past year, if a guy smiled at me or gave me a look at the gym or a store, I would smile back and think to myself, what a nice compliment. Now that I've been in this new relationship I'm not sure how I would react to receiving a flirtatious smile

[JamesM]

When I get along good with my wife...never.

 

When we are fighting...often. Rather I fantasize how life would be different. Cheating seems a good way out, but I know that it would never be.

 

But thinking is by far different than doing. And following through with my thoughts is highly unlikely.

 

And focusing on cheating with an actual person....I rarely have thought this way. I can never seem to put a face to my fantasy that surpasses my wife's.

 

Usually, the notion of cheating is because the grass appears to be greener on the other side of the fence when mine needs watering. When mine is lush and wet, then nothing can beat it.

[PussInHeels]

I know it sounds hokey, but I never think about cheating. I ended up getting my fantasy, so not much else seems any more interesting. Besides, where I live, pickins are kinda slim. The true test will be when I go back to school 18 hours away for 1-3 years. I'll be too busy for anything naughty, but sometimes I get the feeling that there's a couple of ladies eying him up at the hospital....

[blind_otter]

When I was younger, all the time. Nowadays, never.

 

But I often have dreams where I'm on a date with some dude, any random dude, and something goes wrong. Last night I dreamt I was on a date with a guy who was making me dinner and I needed my inhaler. Then I woke up and used it. Weird.

[My Fair Katie]

Maybe I'm an awful person, but I see a guy at the gym and yeah, my mind wanders to how how all that sweatiness would look in my bed. I mean what the h#ll else is there to do at the gym while I'm working out? Watch Maury on the big screen? No I don't care who Lafondashawanda's baby's daddy is, there's a hot guy to fantasize about.

 

But hey, after all the fantasizing and exercising endorphins it's my husband who reaps the benefits of my imagination. No harm, no foul.

 

And I'm fairly certain my husband notices the other hot firm bodies at the gym (I am not an attractive gym member, I don't glow like most women, oh no, I sweat, profusely, my hair doesn't stay in a pretty little pony tail, nope, it gets pretty crazy, hey, I'm not there to win a beauty contest).

 

Would I act on these thoughts, nope, not likely. Two scenarios when I would: I meet Trey Parker (Southpark dude) and he is so blown away by my wit and charm he just can't keep his hands off of me, or same scenario with Hugh Laurie. My DH is aware of this and is comforted by the fact that neither man is likely to show up in boring ol' Raleigh-Durham. Sigh.

[PussInHeels]

Maybe I'm an awful person, but I see a guy at the gym and yeah, my mind wanders to how how all that sweatiness would look in my bed. I mean what the h#ll else is there to do at the gym while I'm working out? Watch Maury on the big screen? No I don't care who Lafondashawanda's baby's daddy is, there's a hot guy to fantasize about.

 

That doesn't make you awful, just human. Besides, isn't it Lafondashawanda's 9th appearance?

[IpAncA]

That doesn't make you awful, just human. Besides, isn't it Lafondashawanda's 9th appearance?

Lol! I watched that show before and I couldn't believe how many times they have been on there and they still couldn't figure out who the daddy was. It was rather amusing but they probably stretched it out so it's entertaining.

 

Anyhow no I don't think about cheating. I don't need to nor do I want too. Sure everyone has marriage problems but cheating just makes it worse.

[Firefox]

Wow, real people expressing themselves. When I saw this thread just dying down the column, I was about to delete it. I guess people have different thoughts about this. Thanks guys for your honesty.

[rainfall]

I have never thought about cheating. If I ever do I will break up with my boyfriend. For me I have no desire to cheat. My bf fulfills all my needs emotinally, physically, sexually, and mentally,so sex with a random stranger really wouldn't do it for me.

.

[samsungxoxo]

Well as long as it's in your fantasy (only in your mind), but you never put it to actions, then no problem. Fantasies and dreams are only that, actions is what really counts.

[cutegirl]

None at all. I am naturally very unfriendly so I don't "make small talk" or "flirt" or even "casually talk" with guys I don't know. I see no point. When I'm there, wherever "there" may be, I'm only there to do my business whatever that may be, such as shop, run errands, etc.

 

I am not there to talk to anyone, look at anyone or meet anyone. I actually don't even like to look around me, It's just in and out of the place as fast as possible.

 

I find people actually annoy me a lot, and I'm very anti social so I don't think I could ever cheat, because I would actually have to TALK and MEET someone in order to do that and that would probably never happen.

 

I went with 7 years before without even dating anyone and the only reason why I have a boyfriend is because I met him through my one friend. I don't have any other friends to meet guys through so it's very unlikely for me to cheat! I'm also a bit anti-man and think most are all cheaters anyways, so I don't get attracted to men very easily. Or at all actually.

[Anka]

Never. Im very happy in my relationship.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. What do you do when a man/woman smiles at you and captures your perpetual attention?

2. What comes in your mind at that instance?

 

1. Smile back, be pleasant but distant. It would be hard to capture my attention, because I willingly and knowingly keep it focused on my SO. Now, if you had asked me this some years ago during my cakewoman days I would have answered differently. Probably something like:

 

Smile back, fish for compliments, flirt - figuring what the SO doesn't know won't hurt him. Piss poor, I know. Glad those days are behind me.

 

2. I get flattered, but that's it. Sometimes basic curiosity, but little else. Like I said, I'm into my SO and my mind stays firmly on him by choice.

[samsungxoxo]

I guess nothing wrong with putting it in your fantasies. How about imaging you're with a celebrity like Justin Timberlake or Leonardo Dicarpio, you know those fantasies.

[rainfall]

I guess nothing wrong with putting it in your fantasies. How about imaging you're with a celebrity like Justin Timberlake or Leonardo Dicarpio, you know those fantasies.

 

 

I guess I might just might be weird but I don't ever close my eyes and imagine my bf is anyone esle. It would just be really weird and not a turn on at all in my eyes. Oh well everyone gets turned on by differnt things I guess.