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Friends with Benefits - had he developed feelings?


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I'm in a really weird situation with someone right now. From the beginning of our "relationship" he told me he was not ready to settle down and I accepted. I compromised myself and slept with him even though I was looking to settle down. I felt that any companionship was good enough until I found Mr. Right.

 

We were always on and off. I would get upset with him not speak for weeks or months at a time and he would always end up calling back. We would never speak that much, maybe 1x a week.

 

Recently things have changed. He now calls everyday (multiple times a day), make comments and sometimes seems jealous at the idea that other men are in my life. Sometimes he'll send lyrics of love songs to my phone via text. Is he falling for me? Why does he act this way?

 

I got upset with the small tokens of "love" and the frequent calling, and I told him I was happy with the guy I began seeing. He seemed to angerily reply, that he was in love with somebody else. My response, if you are in love with someone else, why are you calling me everyday, way do you send me love lyrics and why do you tell me you miss me? I do not force or encourage him to call, he calls because he wants to.

 

What's going on?

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Is he seeing anyone else right now other than you?

 

But who knows, either:

a) he's angry/jealous that men are moving into his territory

b) he fears losing you as his fwb, that is if you decide to become exclusive with one of those men

c) it's a miracle and maybe he is more into you than he claims to be

 

fwb is always complicated..well he brought it on himself.

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What's going on?

Are you honestly asking this question?! Come on...you cut his benefits off. That's all.

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RE:

 

Friends with benefits, isn't a pretty scene in most cases. Rather, most men view it as a game.

 

It is painful. You, LoveSick28, absolutely need to sit down with him one-on-one.

 

Be open, and upfront about the so-called "relationship". Discuss, that IF he is interested in dating -possible exclusiveness- you, he must be willing to handle a mature relationship -which includes responsibility.

 

No more Friends With Benefits game playing.

 

He has to choose: Either In or Out. But No middle ground.

 

One of you will have to, eventually, open up.

 

Sand&Water

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Are you honestly asking this question?! Come on...you cut his benefits off. That's all.

 

 

The reason why I asked this, he never really benefited from the beginning. We've probably had sex a handful of times and it's mediocre at best.

 

Now he acts strange. I tell him, he does not have to call me everyday if he's looking for a FWB situation. I'm cool with it (FWB that is). But he continues with the jealousy act. I told him it's unnecessary.

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RE:

 

Friends with benefits, isn't a pretty scene in most cases. Rather, most men view it as a game.

 

It is painful. You, LoveSick28, absolutely need to sit down with him one-on-one.

 

Be open, and upfront about the so-called "relationship". Discuss, that IF he is interested in dating -possible exclusiveness- you, he must be willing to handle a mature relationship -which includes responsibility.

 

No more Friends With Benefits game playing.

 

He has to choose: Either In or Out. But No middle ground.

 

One of you will have to, eventually, open up.

 

Sand&Water

 

 

You are soo right Sand&Water. I've tried getting him to open up to me, but he refuses. Oddly enough, his friends know more of his feelings about me than I do.

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