confused in orlando Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 Hello everyone I have a dilemma I guess. My boyfriend and I just got into argument about our plans this weekend . A few days ago, my friends invited us to go out with this this weekend. I asked my boyfriend and he agreed. Then today, he tells me he is going about an hour away to visit his friend in a different city. So, he breaks our plans, which is fine i suppose. My dilemma is he wants to spend the night there with his friend. The reason this is a dilemma to me is there is another woman that lives with his friend there that I don't know. It's not that I dont trust him, I do. I just think it's a matter of respect. Or shall I saydisrespect if he does something that he knows makes me uneasy. My question is, am I being too protective? Would any of you let your significant other spend the night out of town in some womans home you dont know? Am I wrong? Any help would be appreciated Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 His friend is male, right? This doesn't sound bad to me. Won't his friend be there with him? Do you have some reason not to trust this woman or has your boyfriend cheated on you in the past? It seems like you are overly concerned about it. I would be more annoyed that he was breaking plans. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 YOU ASK: "My question is, am I being too protective?" First of all, the question here should be just how rude was it for him to suddenly change his committment to go out with you and your friends? I think his decision sucks and that's the big problem I see here. If he can't keep his word, he's pretty worthless in my book. Of course, if he got sick or something that would be excuseable...but to cancel plans with you to do something else with other people is just plain mean. Being too protective is irrelevant to this issue. 2. "Would any of you let your significant other spend the night out of town in some womans home you dont know? Am I wrong?" You have no say in what another free human being does. But if you're asking if it would piss me off, it very definitely would. Now, if my significant other comes to me and tells me there's something they'd rather do that keep their committment to me, I would be very hurt but I'd say yes. There is no good reason for dragging somebody along on a visit who doesn't want to be there. You boyfriend stinks, has no consideration, and is a selfish child. He's going to do what he wants and it makes no difference to him who he hurts or who his decisions affect. Yes, I think it's pretty disrepectful to you for him to spend the night at the home of a female you don't know without you being there. It seems like he could have gone with you this weekend and postponed his trip to see his friend for a time when you could go with him. So now the biggest question is....is this the kind of significant other you want in your life??? Is this the first time he has dishonored you. If he makes a habit of this and you put up with it, it's your fault...not his. I'm very sorry you're having to go through this. Link to post Share on other sites
MercyRose Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 Not everybody does the right thing, or is as nice as you are etc. Apart from being rude and inconsiderate, I don't think you should worry about him cheating on you with his friends room mate/gf or whatever. However there is no guarantee about what a person will do or won't do...the real problem here is that you are insecure. Don't be afraid of losing him so much. Fear is not a good feeling. It certainly won't make you happy. You should try to live your life for you, and view any romance or relationships as enhancing your life. That way you will be free and happy and feel secure in your relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
confused in orlando Posted May 25, 2002 Share Posted May 25, 2002 Hello everyone, Thank you for your replies. To tony, thank you very much. You give great advice. You were all right though in saying i should be more upset with him breaking plans. I knew that as well. I just wasnt because this guy owes him like 600 dollars, and his excuse is that if he doesn't hang out with him on his weekend off, this friend might not pay him. So, thats his motive for going there. Understandable yes, nice, definitely not. His "friend" is such a manipulator though, and a sleazeball, that I know if my boyfriend didn't go over there and make a presence or atleast pretend they were good friends, he'd never see his money. As far as the other woman, it's not jealousy. I am not insecure about losing my man. TO me, it's just the principal of the matter. Because, i wouldn't disrespect my significant other and hang out with strange men or spend the night at their houses without my man knowing them. Or with him. Just me, and thats just ONE thing I ask him to respect in our relationship. That's about the only thing I ask for from him actually, Respect in those situations. Other than that, he's free to hang out with women friends. Thank you all again for your replies Link to post Share on other sites
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