Is she interested im 25 she is 37.. needed

[woodstok]

Long story short, I met this person about a year ago through one of her kids sporting events. We immediately hit it off and talked on occasion, but for the most part it stayed to conversations only when we saw each other, very seldom would we speak on the phone. During this time we would occasionally eat together during the sporting events and she would always make comments to me like "i'll be your girlfriend", or "i can be your sugar mama" and has always been very flirtatious with me. I generally laughed those comments off as I took it as her joking around, the main reason is because I was in a relationship and so was she, and the big part is she is a stunning 37 year old woman who could have any man she wants, litteraly, this woman is beyond beautiful and me being a young 25 year old guy, I just assume, what the hell would she want with me. I mean I am not the hottest looking guy around, but I have very high confidence and I hardly lack attention from women b/c I have a way with women that is odd to explain. I am always told I am very handsome, have alot going for me, I do well for myself and I am very outgoing, but anyways back to the story. The way we always talked and hung out during these sporting events, people even my then girlfriend always told me, "oh she likes you, she has a thing for you" I always dismissed it. So a year goes by like this and during the past month we began talking again but more frequently. She calls me on the phone, we go out to eat, we work out together and slowly she started to reveal alot about herself to me. She has talked to me about very personal and intimate things that most guy and girl friends dont talk about, including very detailed sex talks about what we have done, like, ect. We talk about things she is going through in her life and ask my advice or opinion. The thing is, I always took her flirting as just her personality, she is a flirty person by nature so I thought nothing of it, but the more time we have spent together the more things she says or does that have started to get me thinking, is she interested in me or am I falling into the "friend zone"?

 

She told me the things she has talked to me about, she has only told me and to keep it that way, which I do, she doesnt even speak to her girl-friends about some of the things she has told me, for obvious reasons, I cant get into to. During our talks of course I have disclosed some things as well and the main things is being 25 I have always dated older women, I have a thing for older women, always have and she knows it and at the same time I have complimeted her her and there and sometimes flirt, but I am just so unsure as to how to go about things b/c I feel in a sense ok am I just the friend or the friend she wants more with. I will be honest, she does intimidate me slightly just b/c every guy that sees her practically is drooling and I look at her like, she can have any of them, why me? Or am I really fooling myself and making more of it than it is? Please help, I dont know what to do, do I proceed to become more flirty with her and give her hints of how I feel to see what response I get? Am I just the friend she needs to talk to or am I the guy she wants to talk to and get with? Im very confused, usually I dont have a problem taking the first step b/c I am very aware of the whole situation but this is different and honestly its with the hottest women I would get by far in a while. Am i just intimidated therfore I take things she says as a joke or do I need to step my game up? Any advice would be helpfull.

[Guest]

I'm afraid when it comes to love, age is just a number. If you have the right connection, chemistry and feelings why dwell on your age difference? Love enters our lives in all shapes and forms and has no silly taboos.

 

However, it will require more maturity and thinking than other relationships as you will be faced with some small-minded people and practical issues. Girls your age will be the first to feel jealous and threatened as might your family (protective mums hate to "loose" their beloved sons to women closer to their own age). Also, you do need to think through if you would want a long-term relationship as this will mean that if you want kids, you have to be ready for them within the next few years as her body clock is ticking away.

 

Now if you have thought this over and feel in your heart that you can overcome the possible issues, the question remains of whether she would be interested - which is the same question as most people on here ask themselves. I think the advantage of a more mature woman whom you have been so close to for the past year is that you can obviously talk to her and that is what I would do if I were you. Ask her. There is a golden rule in age-gap relationships that the young man has to do the first move so she may very well be waiting for you to do so. Oh, and she probably thinks exactly the way you do: that there is no way a young and fit guy like you would be interested in a woman who has already had kids and therefore probably doesn’t have the firm body of a 25 year old – even if she is taking good care of herself.

[Guest]

yes she definitely likes you and wants to go further. As an older woman who has dated numerous younger men I can tell you to go for it! She may be thinking that you may not want her because you view her as too old for you. I would ask her out on a date or try to kiss her. I know you won't be disappointed.

[woodstok]

Thanks for your advice and opinion, I appreciate it and she knows that I have a thing for older women, I have cleary spoken to her about it and the age does not bother me. What I am confused at is as to what her intentions are, if any, I dont want to try something and lose our friendship, as I really do appreciate our friendship and the communication we have. I guess I should have been bit more forward and also point out that she talks to me about guys she is seeing as do I talk to her about women I go out with. Although she seeks my advice with them, I do not ask her advice for the women I go out with, so that leads me to think, maybe I am just that "friend" and although our conversations are very intimate and detailed, am taking it as a sign of interest versus what it is on the surface and just a friendship.

 

The things she has told me about herself, I know are things you dont just tell anyone. They are things that most of us would never tell a single soul for fear of being looked at as a complete piece of crap. Without getting to detailed lets say they involve, her marriage, divorce and the things that she did leading up to her divorce that even her ex-spouse has no clue of. Things that women are looked at as very evil and dont keep many girl friends for, things that are considered sins, things we are looked down upon for. Now as she tells me these things, I can also tell it feels good to her having held all this things in, to let them out and finally tell someone who will listen and not judge her for what she has done in the past. As we all do when talking about things we have held in, it feels great being able to tell someone and me being the person I am, I dont judge what she has done or look down on her for it and she knows that, but thats also where I get confused at. Am I quickly becoming that friend she hasnt had and needs, also due to the fact her ex doesnt even know these things, I feel as though, who am I for her to reveal these things. I am confused as you can tell,..(friend or interested?) What is my role and where do I go from here? She certainly does not lack for attention from other men as I stated she is a knock out by all means, so making that first where previously I never have a problem doing, now I find myself intimidated and holding back.......

[oyster]

is she married?

[woodstok]

she is divorced

[burning 4 revenge]

Most women that age much prefer men your age to men their own age. They're much more into younger guys than men are into younger girls.

[Raleuse]

Most women that age much prefer men your age to men their own age. They're much more into younger guys than men are into younger girls.

 

I find this to be a bit of sweeping generalization... and totally untrue. Not only are most middle-age men attracted to younger women but it is much better accepted by society (at least the one I live in) than the other way round. Most older women falling for younger guys have a hard time fighting against their own cultural upbringing.

 

OP, even if she is interested, she must find it very hard to believe you are and may be full of doubts as to whether it is right/sane to have feelings for someone so much younger. Some older women will never overcome those doubts but the only way for you to find out is to try.

 

As for loosing the friendship - it's the same old story and one I am fighting right now. Not only is my best friend 12(.5) years younger also (and unlike you, he couldn't handle such an age-gap) but since I have feelings for him I'm in the difficult situation of just tuning my feelings down or loosing the best friendship I have ever had. So it is a tough decision to make but it always is in the case of friendship evolving to more.

 

It's funny because like your woman, I tell him things I never told my girl-friends or anyone for that matter and we share so many of the same interests. Even his mother said the other day that she was sure I liked something since he does and we're so much alike LOL

[Mary3]

She is * absolutely * interested in you....no doubt in my mind whatsoever Go for it !

[Firefox]

Ask her out and pop the big question. Then come back and let us know what happens.

[woodstok]

Thanks for all your advice from everyone, I went ahead and talked with her (we hung out all day yesterday) and she feels the same as me!! We have alot in common, we like hanging out with each other and we have alot of fun together so we are going to take the next steps and go from there. Age doesnt bother either of us and I can see a good future with us.

[Road Rage]

After the Mary Kay Letourneu debacle I will never again be surprised at whom a beautiful woman may become attached:sick:

[Quinch]

You jammy thing Hope this story has a happy ending.

[Green]

I was going to tell u to just kiss her. If you just talked about things but havnt kissed her or anything yet you still have to do that buddy

[kleeka]

Thanks for your advice and opinion, I appreciate it and she knows that I have a thing for older women, I have cleary spoken to her about it and the age does not bother me. What I am confused at is as to what her intentions are, if any, I dont want to try something and lose our friendship, as I really do appreciate our friendship and the communication we have. I guess I should have been bit more forward and also point out that she talks to me about guys she is seeing as do I talk to her about women I go out with. Although she seeks my advice with them, I do not ask her advice for the women I go out with, so that leads me to think, maybe I am just that "friend" and although our conversations are very intimate and detailed, am taking it as a sign of interest versus what it is on the surface and just a friendship.

 

The things she has told me about herself, I know are things you don't just tell anyone. They are things that most of us would never tell a single soul for fear of being looked at as a complete piece of crap. Without getting to detailed lets say they involve, her marriage, divorce and the things that she did leading up to her divorce that even her ex-spouse has no clue of. Things that women are looked at as very evil and don't keep many girl friends for, things that are considered sins, things we are looked down upon for. Now as she tells me these things, I can also tell it feels good to her having held all this things in, to let them out and finally tell someone who will listen and not judge her for what she has done in the past.

 

As we all do when talking about things we have held in, it feels great being able to tell someone and me being the person I am, I don't judge what she has done or look down on her for it and she knows that, but thats also where I get confused at. Am I quickly becoming that friend she hasn't had and needs, also due to the fact her ex doesn't even know these things, I feel as though, who am I for her to reveal these things. I am confused as you can tell,..(friend or interested?) What is my role and where do I go from here? She certainly does not lack for attention from other men as I stated she is a knock out by all means, so making that first where previously I never have a problem doing, now I find myself intimidated and holding back.......

 

 

 

Woodstok, I'm glad you're having a happy outcome and that you finally got your communications with each other out and straightforward. Now it's (both of) your actions that will indicate the viability of your relationship and that definitely includes ongoing communication.

 

I wish my outcome with a younger guy had been as successful. Your situation is unbelievably identical to the one i was in recently with a 25 Y O guy and similar age diff. Only mine was at work (even though we're in different groups) where things could've potentially gone way wrong. We were certainly intrigued with each other and went through an early flirting stage which progressed into a few outings and drinks of course with some really great discussions and dialog. We were incredibly and comfortably close and open with each other outside of work. I found him to be unbelievably caring and sensitive which created a deep chemistry between us. But there was no rush to anything and he never made a first move.

 

My problem with him was I couldn't figure him out unless we were actually out somewhere together where things would go great and smoothly. It was those other times when it was too much of a challenge or effort just to set up a date together because the actions in between the dates did not seem to add up.

 

I 'm not sure but it seems he might have felt I should've been making more of the first moves and effort, whereas I felt he should've been doing so because he knows how much more of a hectic schedule i have than he does. Anyway our efforts would amount to this: I would try texting him during the week (hi, how are you, plans for the weekend, etc.) but he never seemed prompt about replying (next day or two or sometimes not at all!!) which always made me think he wasn't interested.

 

So as a result, that made me stop going out of my way to say hi to him at his desk as often. Instinctively, I began seeing other guys to prevent putting all my eggs in one basket with him.

 

I also couldn't stand the fact that when he did plan something it was always done at the last minute - never the day before but at most a couple hours beforehand! Finally though, after some pretty lame efforts, we had "the talk", he told me he really liked me and being with me but wasn't ready for a relationship. (I know, it's guyspeak for "you're not the one" .)

 

In turn, I told him I was very attracted to him but that I could only think of him as a friend because of the age diff, timing of our personal lives, and also that I was dating other people as I assumed he was. That was probably the bomb for him but in my emotional defense, his own actions weren't coming through loud and clear enough for me. Maybe he was confused like you said you were, etc. but I still felt he didn't do enough, wasn't forward enough and his lack of punctuality said it all, in my mind.

 

Also, even though I told him on more than one occasion after our talk that I really enjoyed spending time with him and wanted to continue that, he responded very positively to it - but of course weeks have since passed and the distance between us has nothing but grown bigger.

 

Although I still have something in my heart today for that younger guy, I can distance myself from it because I'm dating a 36 YO guy at work who's plain as day with his responsive action and communications. In fact, he's that perfect combination of sensitive teasing jerk (LOL) that has me wanting more from him but when he senses that I'm even a little bit frustrated, he caves in to me and does those many sweet little things that add up and tell me "hey, he cares and he's thinking of me." But that combination is not for everyone. To me, this is how it's supposed to be - not the one-sided constant guessing game. I'm happy to say this guy currently occupies my time and increasingly, my heart. Not to mention it's helped fade away the intense feelings I once had for this other younger guy.

 

My point to you: keep her informed and be reasonably prompt in order to stay connected. Don't make her do all the work (neither should you) but you have other elements in your lives that can easily get in the way and prevent you from getting together. Therefore, be good about maintaining the effort to fill in in the gaps and keep the bond strong.

 

Good luck and please keep us posted. I want to hear how and what you both do to keep this a successful relationship. It could teach me a whole lot about what I could've done better.

[Yamaha]

The age thing will be a problem in the future. You want to ignore it now because lust is filling your senses but the emotional maturity will rear its ugly head.

I would just enjoy the moment and not look at it for the long term.

[woodstok]

(KLEEKA) Yes your story does sound like mine and I can relate to the young guy you spoke about. Its not that we do not want to make the first move, but sometimes as a younger guy we can become somewhat intimidated by an older woman. We feel a bit more like taking things a bit slower to make really sure we understand your feelings, versus a young girl who makes it as clear as day, I find older women will give you so much but its really sly and playful to keep you on your toes, which makes us watch our steps a bit closer. As far as keeping you up to date, well over this holiday weekend we spent 2 of those days together all day. We had a great time and when she called me this morning she went on and on about how much fun she had and has with me. We have alot in common and its just fun being with her and learning about each other, plus we look forward to spending time together again soon, probably tomorrow. As fas as the age will bother us sometime in the future and its probably all lust right now, whoever posted the above, as much as I do find her physically attractive and its clear we would both like to take that step with each other, we have not and as far as I am concerned she is every bit worth the wait. I would rather know her for who she is versus viewing her as a lust object. I want to view her as my friend and when she becomes my lover I will have the best of both worlds. We have kissed and it could have progressed, but I made it clear to her, I want her for more than just a physical thing and as I said before, to me she is so worth the wait. We are having such a great time with the way things are right now, I cant wait until we explore that other area, but in time, in time, there should be no rush to the bed.

[Trialbyfire]

I wish you both the best.

 

Make sure you address the gen gap issue ad-naseum previous to getting further into this. She and you are at different stages in your lives and you may find that when you both hit your next stage, you will realize that they don't mesh. Her next stage will be for a man to be someone she can trust and rely on to continue caring about her, regardless if she has a few wrinkles and a little gravitational pull happening. Your next stage will be wanting children.

 

For both your sakes, make sure that you know what you're getting in to.