Metaphorical Raft Man: He Wants My Companionship

[Sand&Water]

Raft Man Has Changed His Mind!

 

Part 1 [Original Thread]: Metaphorical Raft: The Dangers of Losing Interest in Males.

 

Part Two

 

I have been talking to the Raft Man [male friend of mine] for some time, now -getting to know him and vice versa. I sent him a brief message a day or two ago, since he wasn't having a good week.

 

A few hours later, he contacted and thanked me for the message -by that time, he and I were well into conversation. I, quickly joked, with him about the Metaphorical Raft -building it himself, and if he'll actually set sail to Europe.

 

Again, he and I engaged in witty humour, laughter, and enjoyment of the subject. He went on to say: "You're doing a good job of selling the yacht idea to me."

 

I didn't think he'd change his mind. I thought, for sure, he'd want the Metaphorical Raft. He said it clear, as a bell: "No way! I'm going for the yacht."

 

Me: "When are you going to set sail for Europe?"

Him: "When are you on vacation?"

 

He and I talk about the whole idea, and tells me to bring along my bikini. By then I was like: "Haha. Who said I am coming along? I thought this trip was for you ...to europe and all... to get away from me!"

 

And. . . "Me, and you just on board? ..Recipe for disaster."

 

He, enthusiastically, tells me that we'll learn to get along and just us, perhaps -with food, water, and the moon!

 

He wants my company. Good company. The entire yacht to ourselves.

 

The man, just keeps on flirting -and decides to continue the conversation next time. His schedule, as well as mine, is real busy, and I am afraid there will be no next time.

 

Question: Why hasn't he asked me out for coffee/tea, yet? and Do I continue to be myself or flirt some more?

 

I don't even deserve him. He is so out of my league and ahead of me.

 

Thank you in advance.

 

Sand&Water

[Trialbyfire]

There's no such thing as someone out of anyone's league. If you're relaxed and having fun, kick back and enjoy the flirting. If you're getting attached, you can always turn the conversation towards something a little more serious and see if he latches on eagerly or runs away. Better to know sooner than later before you do get attached.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Thank you for your reply, Trialbyfire.

There's no such thing as someone out of anyone's league. If you're relaxed and having fun, kick back and enjoy the flirting. If you're getting attached, you can always turn the conversation towards something a little more serious and see if he latches on eagerly or runs away. Better to know sooner than later before you do get attached.

I, just, don't want to be played. I don't want to be dragged around for a fool -then for him to give me the "We're only friends, and nothing more!".

 

In addition, several problems will arise in the future. I know I am sunk.

 

I think it's best, I let him go. No way on Earth, this man, will actually like me.

 

I don't know how to talk serious with him. I don't want to be slapped across the face.

 

The 'relationship' hasn't lifted off the ground thus far, and I don't think it ever will. I'm dreaming of spending time with him -to be with him -but I know this dream will forever stay within dreamland.

 

Sand&Water

[Ssheena]

Maybe he is afraid you will reject him.

 

You have said a lot of things that, if it were me, would give me the impression that you didn't really like yourself very much..ie,

"to get away from me!" And. . . "Me, and you just on board? ..Recipe for disaster."

 

Why would you say that? Why would you assume it would be a disaster? Why do you think he is out of your league and ahead of you?

 

I don't understand why you can predict that he will not like you and that problems will arise in the future?

 

Maybe, just maybe you fasinate him and he really would like to get to know you better but he doesn't know how to get through to you. What is the absolute worse thing that could happen if you were to invite him for coffee? If you are interested in seeing where this could go with you two, you need to put it out to him - then you will get your answer.

 

It would be hard for me to like someone who seemed to not like themselves and made disparaging remarks about themselves.

 

Wouldn't it be awesome? You and him on a boat together? You say you are dreaming about him..maybe if you broached the subject with him you would find out he was on the same page...but unless you ask you will never know.

 

Someone told me or I read somewhere - Don't die not knowing.

 

For what it's worth, I have gotten the impression from your posts that you are a very introspective, intelligent, sympathatic, wonderful woman.

[Adunaphel]

I think there are two possibilities:

 

1) He is interested in you, and trying to test the waters.

Basically baiting you - hoping to get some sign of interest from you.

 

"Haha. Who said I am coming along? I thought this trip was for you ...to europe and all... to get away from me!"

 

This is not very encouraging.

 

If he is just shy and doubtful about your interest level, he might need some help to come out of his shell.

 

2) Player, player, player. Nothin'-but-a-lot-of-talk-and-a -badge kind of guy.

 

In either case, I think some old plain straightforwardness could help.

 

"See, one could gather from your words that you are interested in me. Is ther anything you are trying to tell me?" could do.

 

Or invite him for coffee, as other posters suggested. A cup of coffe is a lot less expensive than a yatch, so he should not be intimidated.

[magichands]

He, enthusiastically, tells me that we'll learn to get along and just us, perhaps -with food, water, and the moon!

Just whose butt are we talking about here?

In addition, several problems will arise in the future.

Just deal with things as they rise. One at a time.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Thank you for your reply, Ssheena.

Maybe he is afraid you will reject him.

On several occasions, I have shown disinterest on many levels. He knew, from the start, the conditions and my affirmations. Nothing is for certain with him.

 

Why is he still here?

 

I don't want to believe in the scraps of interest he is throwing at me. The timing is not right, plus there are issues on both sides of the spectrum [-with respect to his life and mine].

 

Sand&Water

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Thank you for your reply, Adunaphel.

If he is just shy and doubtful about your interest level, he might need some help to come out of his shell.

Indeed, true.

 

He said to me that it takes time for him to warm up and open up to people.

 

It is evident that he is still not over his ex. Seems to me, he still loves her.

 

And, he's been just enjoying dating and making out with people.

 

He, and I are certainly on two different levels. How can I get attached to someone, that shows signs of belonging to someone else, without knowing that it will not work out and essentially backfire?

 

Sand&Water

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Thank you for your reply, Magichands.

Just whose butt are we talking about here?

 

Me, of course.

 

I asked: "What do I get in return for coming with you on board?

Him: "My company of course!!!"

 

He could have said: sex, money, drugs, alcohol, or furniture. But he didn't. I suppose that counts for something.

 

. . . Then I said: "as long as there is food, water, and the moon ...I should be fine.."

 

He agreed with me - "Likewise" was his response.

 

I blew it, though, when he asked when will I be on vacation and I said in 2010. That, surely, wasn't delightful at all.

 

I can't be hung up on this man. The likeliness is minimal.

 

Sand&Water

[magichands]

He, and I are certainly on two different levels.

Is he on top of you, or are you on top of him? Metaphorically speaking, I mean.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Is he on top of you, or are you on top of him? Metaphorically speaking, I mean.

From what he has said to me, about his life, he is on top of me.

 

I can safely say, he has it better than me. But, then again, I can't blindly judge.

 

Why do you ask?

 

Sand&Water

[magichands]

I think that's part of the problem. Everything in life is subjective. Okay...maybe not everything, but most things when it comes to matters of the heart.

 

You're both on the raft, so you're both on the same level. It's not his raft...it's the love raft.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

I have convinced myself. All I need to do now, is completely de-attach myself -and move on.

You're both on the raft, so you're both on the same level. It's not his raft...it's the love raft.

That would be a woman's response.

 

Men don't look at the picture, from that angle. He is, basically, stirring up the love pot.

 

The metaphorical raft has created exciting thoughts and visions in his mind -but he and I both know it is simply the sugar layer of our sour, boring lives.

 

There is too much at stake. Am I supposed to feel a burning sensation in my soul when I associate myself with him?

 

Sand&Water

[magichands]

The metaphorical raft has created exciting thoughts and visions in his mind -but he and I both know it is simply the sugar layer of our sour, boring lives.

When you're in love, the ordinary seems extraordinary. I can't believe you're asking me such basic questions.

There is too much at stake. Am I supposed to feel a burning sensation in my soul when I associate myself with him?

Just get him checked out first. The salty water usually keeps everything clean, but one can never be too careful.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

It is obvious the longer, he and I, hold back unspoken words . . . the more intense the pain of shattered dreams will be for the get-together.

When you're in love, the ordinary seems extraordinary.

This is not love. There is no love between he and I. It is the early stages of infatuation -newness as a back bone.

 

IF the chemistry, compatibility between he and I were amazingly wonderful -I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

But, the reality of the situation is clouding the aspirations. Seems like, this is a silly game to him -to fill up uneventful time.

 

What would one do in my position? I am clearly sabotaging my chances!

 

Sand&Water

[magichands]

But, the reality of the situation is clouding the aspirations. Seems like, this is a silly game to him -to fill up uneventful time.

I'm not sure that's the case.

 

The raft is a journey. The more time you spend on the raft, the further you will drift. He might just be waiting for a full moon. Is he a true romantic?

[Sand&Water]

RE:

The raft is a journey. The more time you spend on the raft, the further you will drift.

You're treading on weak water, here.

 

Don't tell me, a man, would over look other aspects of the raft journey -i.e. attractiveness, compassion, family, social and economic matters -in order to fulfill his raft dream . . . and spend joyous time with the woman.

 

I don't know if he's a true romantic. What makes a man a true romantic? All I know is that he isn't in a hurry to settle -no plans.

 

He's destined to play with as many women as he wants.

 

Sand&Water

[magichands]

Don't tell me, a man, would over look other aspects of the raft journey -i.e. attractiveness, compassion, family, social and economic matters -in order to fulfill his raft dream . . . and spend joyous time with the woman.

You can have a spiritual connection on the raft. Of course the other stuff is important, but it's meaningless without the connection.

 

First things first.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

You can have a spiritual connection on the raft. Of course the other stuff is important, but it's meaningless without the connection.

Spiritual connection -as in soul connection?

 

I don't know how large in size the connection is.

 

Is the connection going to escalate into an enormous Bang!, or realistically fade out into the realm of the world.

 

The anticipation of he and I getting together is building up, to new heights, that I just don't know where the limits lie anymore.

 

The raft journey would suggest the feeling is mutual. Right?

 

Sand&Water

[magichands]

Is the connection going to escalate into an enormous Bang!,

Yes!

The anticipation of he and I getting together is building up, to new heights, that I just don't know where the limits lie anymore.

The edge of the raft, I would think.

The raft journey would suggest the feeling is mutual. Right?

Right. I only take special people on my raft. Very special people.

[alphamale]

I don't even deserve him. He is so out of my league and ahead of me.

if he's actually the player you say he is then he already knows this...

[magichands]

if he's actually the player you say he is then he already knows this...

Really, really?

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

Yes!

I hope, you are right.

 

It is, premature, to be certain. Nonetheless, I will have to find out.

 

I want to feel estatic, when I associate myself with his soul. His sarcastic nature, really does compliment my personal characteristics. I, don't want, life's brutal mishaps, and swords to stab the connection I have with him.

 

. . . Or rather whatever chemistry he and I share.

 

Should I be straightforward with him -ask questions, and lay out the cards?

 

I want to discontact him for 2 weeks, and see IF he'll actually gather the courage to contact me. I want him to come to me.

 

Sand&Water

[alphamale]

I want to discontact him for 2 weeks, and see IF he'll actually gather the courage to contact me. I want him to come to me.

well S&W if he's the stud you say he is then he's probably go a lot of hens coming around.....you may be waiting for some time.

[magichands]

I want to discontact him for 2 weeks, and see IF he'll actually gather the courage to contact me. I want him to come to me.

Probably a good strategy, but what if the raft has drifted some whilst you're away? Into more favourable waters??