College Guys break girls hearts

[charlotte101]

Here is my story.... if you can help that would be amazinggggggg:

 

I am an 18 year old girl and a freshman in college. The first day I met this guy that lives across the hall from me.... his name is Alex. From the beginning I could tell that there was something there between the two us. We became really good friends and we talked and hung out almost every day (usually his doing). He would go out of his way to stop by my room or invite me out or would just text/call/ or instant message me. The only problem was that he had a girlfriend. I am not gonna lie I loved the attention and genuinely liked him but felt that I couldn't be a girl that he was cheating on his girlfriend with (even though he never asked me to).

 

One night we had gone out to the bars. I wound up leaving earlier then he did and just went back to my dorm. After getting back to the dorms, I went to my room and was just laying in my bed talking to my roommate when Alex showed up. He drank alot that night and I knew not to take anything that he was going to say seriously. He basically jumped on me and was like "I am sleeping here tonight." I told him that he couldn't even though I secretly wanted him to because I had always liked him. Bottom line, even though we "fought" about it.... he slept over. We laid there and talked all night and at one point he even made a move. He wound up giving me a hickey on my neck and after a little while....when he went to lean in and kiss me.... I realized that we couldn't do what we were doing so I stopped it. I knew that he was drunk and that he would regret it in the morning so i figured I had to be the bigger person and just put an end to it. Basically, I turned away as he leaned in to kiss me and completely shut him down. He got the hint and passed out next to me in my bed. We never talked about that night again.

 

A month went by and he was still with his girlfriend and by then I had met a guy named John at a party. John was great and we wound up making out that night. It wasn't a big deal because it was just fun and we were just being impulsive. Either way, he got my number and we began to hang out all the time. A few days into hanging out with John, Alex broke it off with his girlfriend. As his friend, he told me about it. One night, me and Alex were hanging out in my room when my roommate slipped and asked me about John. Alex right away got mad and asked why i didn't tell him about it. I told him that it wasnt a big deal and that we were just having fun. That was when the trouble began.

 

Alex became jealous and we began to fight all the time. Sometimes I would run into him when I was with John and he would just be quiet and seem angry at me. So one night I confronted him (even though we were both a little intoxicated) at the bar. I asked him what his problem was and he denied everything. I told him that he couldn't keep doing this. He was always getting mad at me and I needed him to just talk to me. He said "Whatever I don't want to talk about this... you're dating john anyway" and got up and left the bar. We talked it over.. i explained to him that i wasn't dating john... and he said that I was just looking into it too much, he didn't mean what he had said, and that he was "just drunk no big deal" so i left it alone.

 

A few weeks later, I wound up breaking things off with John. I told Alex about it and we actually began getting along better again. We didn't fight anymore and I was just happy. Two weeks ago, Alex and I hooked up. We were basically sitting on his bed talking (both a little intoxicated once again) and he was like "Charlotte I like you... I have always liked you" and I basically told him that I couldn't wait for him forever and that if he didn't make a move soon someone else would. He told me that he did try and make a move (he was talking about that night he slept over) but that I turned him down. I explained to him that he had a gf and that although I liked him all along I wasn't going to be someone that he could cheat with.

 

I then asked him why he didn't ever bring this up... and he just told me that he "didn't know how to but ever since then he has always wanted to kiss me." I then said "then kiss me already" and he did. We hooked up that night and it was great. The sexual tension was finally gone and I was so relieved. We then began hooking up all the time. It was just fun... no strings attached and everything was normal. We still acted the exact same way. Everything was perfect.

 

I even finally began to let my guard down (which i never do). I had always felt that if I had given in too quickly, he would lose interest. So I didn't. I played the game and made him chase me (which I thought was a great idea). But at this point I didn't think that I needed to play the game anymore. So I completely let my guard down and really began to like him. Two nights ago, Alex went out partying. I didn't care and just hung out with other people (I am not a clingy type of girl who has to be with a guy all the time). I didn't hear from him all night which I thought was a little weird because when he drinks he calls me a million times. Either way, I shrugged it off. Later that night, his roommate knocked on my door and asked if he could hang out in my suitemates room for a while. I asked him why but he wouldn't tell me.

 

I finally got it out of him and he told me that Alex was hooking up with a girl in his room and that it was awkward being in there. I told him that he could come in. He then said "I am sorry I wasn't supposed to tell you." I never realized how upset I was going to be but didn't say anything to anyone and made it seem like i didn't care. The next day everyone left early for thanksgiving break. I talked to Alex for like five minutes but did not go into anything. It was just a casual conversation... wishing each other a happy thanksgiving. To be honest, there really wasn't time and I also had no idea what I would have said (even if there was time).

 

Here is where I need advice: If he was constantly pursuing me and saying that he liked me then why would he hook up with some random girl... knowing that I am across the hall. It just doesn't make sense to me. Did he ever really like me? Does he still like me? I am just wondering what do i do now? When we get back to school do I talk to him about it? What do I say? or should I pretend like it never happened? Or should I just move on because Alex will probably just wind up hurting me in the end and just keep it so we are nothing but friends? Or do I still see how things go with Alex but keep my options open and date other guys too? I don't know what to do... I am so confused and heartbroken... I just need advice.... please help me:(

[hollywood24]

He's a college guy lookin for some ass, ass most college guys would do.

[Mary3]

Its " Drunken Sex " mostly with that other girl.

 

It seems you both have played games with each other for quite awhile now.

 

You not saying how you feel...

 

Him not saying whats on his mind. Both of you sleeping together.

 

What exactly do you want ?

 

How do you want to go about getting it ?

 

You did the sleep thing quite a bit into it so I can't say you slept with him *too soon* .

 

But what do you want from all of this ? Why are you scared to ask for what you want ?

 

Find out * what * you want and then I can help you

[charlotte101]

Its " Drunken Sex " mostly with that other girl.

 

It seems you both have played games with each other for quite awhile now.

 

You not saying how you feel...

 

Him not saying whats on his mind. Both of you sleeping together.

 

What exactly do you want ?

 

How do you want to go about getting it ?

 

You did the sleep thing quite a bit into it so I can't say you slept with him *too soon* .

 

But what do you want from all of this ? Why are you scared to ask for what you want ?

 

Find out * what * you want and then I can help you

 

 

I agree we really have been basically playing eachother for a while. I guess neither of us had wanted to be the bigger person and just throw it out there that we had liked eachother. Basically, I just want to be with him. I like him alot. We are great together and although it is college and being in a relationship isn't smart, i feel like if things were just taken slow then maybe it could work out. I just don't understand the mixed signals that he sends me constantly.

 

One day he is pursuing me like crazy and then the next day we don't even talk. I just wish I knew where he stood because then it would make things so much easier. Of course I could always ask him but the problem with that is that I am nervous if I do i'll lose him. I think that is what I am really scared of. I mean he is my best friend here and I just can't imagine losing him. I don't know anymore.

[Mary3]

I agree we really have been basically playing eachother for a while. I guess neither of us had wanted to be the bigger person and just throw it out there that we had liked eachother. Basically, I just want to be with him. I like him alot. We are great together and although it is college and being in a relationship isn't smart, i feel like if things were just taken slow then maybe it could work out. I just don't understand the mixed signals that he sends me constantly.

 

One day he is pursuing me like crazy and then the next day we don't even talk. I just wish I knew where he stood because then it would make things so much easier. Of course I could always ask him but the problem with that is that I am nervous if I do i'll lose him. I think that is what I am really scared of. I mean he is my best friend here and I just can't imagine losing him. I don't know anymore.

 

The second part of your post struck me : You fear having the * talk * because you don't want to push him away. You are dead on correct that guys tend to run when we try the * talk *.

 

But its pretty simplistic here. He is either there for you or he isn't...In which case you are often wondering about you both and he pulls back.

 

My best advice : You don't have what you want. You don't have a serious relationship because he does not want one. You would not be posting here if you were confused.

 

Advice : Keep options open. Don't be available to him . Stop playing along with him ( games ) Find someone who DOES want to be with you fulltime.

 

Otherwise if this is about sex ( at all ) then you are mostly Booty Call.

 

I don't even like the FWB term~ I dont think it exisits. Friends who * f*** eachother , NOT ! Its just a name we gave it . Should just be F** buddies which is a better term if you are having sex with someone and they are not deeply involved with you.