worriedsick Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 My husband, while I love him, makes some of the worst decisions ever. He keeps changing careers because he is looking for what's "right" for him, sometimes quitting jobs before he has another one lined up. Over the past year, we have gone so far into debt it is ridiculous. I am trying to work extra to pick up the slack, and when we can't make the bills, he acts like it's no big deal and everything will be okay. I am tired of picking up the slack while he does whatever he wants with no regard for the rest of us. I have decided that if he quits this job and leaves us hanging, I am leaving him and selling the house. Does that seem unreasonable? Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Have you talked with him...does he know how you feel? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 I have decided that if he quits this job and leaves us hanging, I am leaving him and selling the house. Does that seem unreasonable? Honestly? Yes. I think you need to sit and talk to him before making such a drastic decision that will affect your whole family. Is that fair to your children? If this is the only reason why you'd want to leave him, then maybe you two need to go to marriage counselling and work through this. Maybe he's depressed, or not happy where he is careerwise. Or is it that he gets bored? Link to post Share on other sites
JamesM Posted November 23, 2006 Share Posted November 23, 2006 Now that I have reread your past threads, I have different thoughts. I still think that you should talk with him, but stick with the decision that you make. This is the same husband, I assume, that has cheated on you in the past, set up internet profiles at dating sites, and is overweight. You have left him before. You no longer have sex because he is overweight. And you are now having different problems because he makes poor decisions. Obvious question...have you two gone to counseling? If so, did it help? If not, why not? Have you resolved the cheating completely? Do you now have good sex? Is there any connection to any of the above to the other bad decisions that he keeps making? I am not sure what I would do in your situation, but maybe with some answers, someone will have one. Link to post Share on other sites
Author worriedsick Posted November 24, 2006 Author Share Posted November 24, 2006 I have discussed this with him before. I have explained to him how it's not fair that he makes such drastic decisions without considering how it affects the whole family. I have made sacrifices of my own, like not taking a job I really wanted because it was a bit of a pay cut and I didn't think that was the right choice for us at that point. However, within that same month, he quit the stable job he had because he just didn't like it anymore. It seems that no matter how I try to tell him, he still doesn't see past his own desires. Yes, working at a job you hate really sucks, but constantly having to worry about bills and if your SO is going to quit their job again sucks as well. I have made it perfectly clear to him that this constant job changing is unacceptable and that I will not be married to a shiftless loser. Maybe that's harsh, but I refuse to put myself and my child through a lifetime of financial hardship while he looks for "the perfect job". He does know how I feel and I told him if he screws us over again that we're gone and he can sort through his mess on his own. Hopefully he will take this to heart. I am sure was there not a bunch of other crap in our past, I wouldn't be reacting so harshly, but honestly I feel like I have taken more than I should have. There just seems to be a recurring pattern with him that he acts before he considers what could happen. Yes, in my past posts I have discussed his infidelity and his lack of concern over how his obesity affects our sex life and how they have caused problems. This latest issues is just the "straw that broke the camel's back". I feel like I'm at the limit of what I will take. Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted November 24, 2006 Share Posted November 24, 2006 No, you're NOT unreasonable in leaving him. You are jeapordizing your children's futures even more by staying with this selfish man. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted November 25, 2006 Share Posted November 25, 2006 I agree with Touche and James. I think it is hard for most women to respect a man who won't work and support his family. On top of not being able to respect him as a good husband and father, you have all these other issues to deal with. Is there anything left? If he got a stable job tomorrow, would you be back in love with him and happy? I am all for keeping families together, going to counseling and such to make it work, but once you reach that point of no return, its probably better for everyone- even your child- to end it. There will never be the 'perfect' job. Ever. If he is so selfish that his being happy every second of every day is more important to him than providing security and stability for his child, I think that says a lot about him, and none of it good. Link to post Share on other sites
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