Ed Posted November 3, 1999 Share Posted November 3, 1999 I dont know what to think? I have had this girl that I have been best friends with for a few years now. She is engaged to an abusive boyfriend. She also is Bipolar and has rheumatiod arthritis that causes her great pain. She tells me she dont know if she love him, but she stays with him. She has told me that her children hate him and want thier mom to marry me. She is great and she tells me we are more then just best friends. We have not had sex but sometimes kiss and hug each other. When he is out of town I spend that nights at her house. One day she came to where I worked and walked in and told me she loves me and that she has for a long time, then she gives me a kiss and danced with me. She asked me if I loved her I said yes. She stayed with me for almost 2 weeks, She seemed she was going to break up with him. Then he said he wanted to go to couple counseling, now she said that she has mixed feelings. She said that she is afraid of loosing our friendship, because all her past relationship fail. She said that if we did not work out her kids would hate her for it. I am afraid to tell her just how much this is hurting me. I dont want to damage the friendship. But cant go on like this much more. What do I do? help! Link to post Share on other sites
Sare Bear Posted November 15, 1999 Share Posted November 15, 1999 Hi Ed, I am sorry it has taken anyone so long to get back to you. You must have been torturing yourself about what you should do. This is only my opinion, not something you must do, just a direction you may choose. I have been in both yours and this lady's situation. What I have to offer may not be what you want to hear. Ed, you sound like a great guy. The fact that her kids love you speaks volumes to me. However, I am not her. I do not know how she thinks. I think I can understand her though. You are obviously better for her, in the long and the short run. But it is incredibly difficult to switch off feelings of love for someone and I believe she has been unable to switch off her feelings for Forrest, just in case he did come back for her. Unfortunately, he did and she feels that he deserves one more chance. God knows why. I think she is a lost cause to you, Ed. There are so many women out there I am sure you will find one that is more suited to you, who will appreciate you and all you do instead of taking you for granted and using you. I am sorry to put it so bluntly but that is what I feel she is doing. Go and find someone who will give as much as she gets. It won't take long. It is scary being out in the world alone but you will enjoy life more if you don't have baggage like your lady friend. Another thing you should know - I don't think her treatment of you was personal in any way. Really she is only looking out for herself. I hope this helps. Best of luck, SareBear Link to post Share on other sites
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