Social Anxiety is hurting me!

[jr61]

Hi, I've been a social phobic all my life and can't get rid of it no matter what i do. deep down inside i am a social person but i cant have any friends, i cant even date even though thousands a women say i am an attractive man, i took social classes and cognitive therapy and i cant get rid of it. i'm really starting to lose hope. peopole pick on me because im painfully shy. im always bullied. i heard alcohol will help but i haven't tried it yet, but im willing to try anything. please help me, im always depressed and stressed. anyone have any ideas.

[dgiirl]

Personally, I think alcohol is a bad idea! Yah, it takes the edge off for the average joe. But if you suffer from an anxiety disorder, and depend on alcohol to get you out there, then I can see a dependency developing, and you becoming an alcoholic, which is not good. Alcohol is suppose to be for recreational use not a cure for problem you have.

 

How old are you? Have you gone to therapy?

 

I think the first step to overcoming social anxiety is listening to your internal dialog when you are in these situations. You'll notice that you say a lot of mean nasty cruel unfounded things about yourself. Anything from this person is laughing or bullying me to the sky is falling and the world is about to end. Try and listen to the things you say to yourself and counter-act them with positive truths. Also, if you get into a "What if" situation, follow through with the complete thought. A lot of times, we'll ask ourselves "What if this person laughs at me?" And then stop the thought process in fear. We never follow through with the thought. If you follow through with it, truely answer the question. Ok, this person laughs at me. What's the worse that can happen? They'll laugh and so what? I dont need to feel intimidated, or ashamed or anything. They're just laughing. The world's not going to end and there's a lot more worse things that can happen in one's life than bringing a bit of laughter to another person.

 

Try writing down all the things you say to yourself when you're in an anxiety attack. Then come back a day later and read over those thoughts. Try and prove/disprove each statement you made about the situation and yourself. You'll notice that a lot of them are impossible to prove and simply your assumptions. All assumptions get thrown out the window. They are not true and you have to give people the benifit of the doubt, they are not as cruel as we think they are. All truth statements, follow through with the "so what" or "what if" questions. Work on the things you want to change, and embrace the things that you dont and be proud of yourself.

 

I know this is easier said then done, but it really does all lay inside your head. What your internal dialog is saying. Learn to control that, and you'll be happier.

[ratzskinakie]

Alcohol may temporary help as a distraction, but will never solve the core problem, and you just feel like crap or worse again when your not drunk. Similar to what dgiirl was talking about, I'd recommend a book called A Guide to Rational Living by Albert Ellis, Robert A. Harper and Melvin Powers. Ive read so many books, and this one has been the best one that has helped me. It may not solve your issue 100%, but if anything it will help some, and some is better than nothing. Just a consideration, the book will cost you less than a pack of alcohol. Years ago I used to have Social Anxiety everyday, it was not fun, depressed, cynical, etc... it drove me insane. Now I'm pretty much over it with a minor case here and there that's really no big deal.

[Zippy]

Hi, I've been a social phobic all my life and can't get rid of it no matter what i do. deep down inside i am a social person but i cant have any friends, i cant even date even though thousands a women say i am an attractive man, i took social classes and cognitive therapy and i cant get rid of it. i'm really starting to lose hope. peopole pick on me because im painfully shy. im always bullied. i heard alcohol will help but i haven't tried it yet, but im willing to try anything. please help me, im always depressed and stressed. anyone have any ideas.

 

Hey, I'm the same way, except I havent tried CBT yet.

 

It seems that since CBT hasn't worked that maybe you have a chemical imbalance in the brain.

 

Have you tried medication yet, it really can help.

[Guest]

I'm, doing better, I'm just so depressed about the lack of friends and relationships. It just never comes comes to me, it started with the social anxiety now im smarter to control it but i need to still get on medicine. people seem to accept me, a lot of people tell me im very mature especially for my age, and it comes with a consequence, I'm different. people don't want to accept me or be around me. i tried everything social classes, changing myself, ect. but it just doesn't happen. my own family doesn't even accept me. im just about to throw in the towel and accept that maybe it is not meant for me to be social. it really does hurt.

[Rooster_DAR]

I'm, doing better, I'm just so depressed about the lack of friends and relationships. It just never comes comes to me, it started with the social anxiety now im smarter to control it but i need to still get on medicine. people seem to accept me, a lot of people tell me im very mature especially for my age, and it comes with a consequence, I'm different. people don't want to accept me or be around me. i tried everything social classes, changing myself, ect. but it just doesn't happen. my own family doesn't even accept me. im just about to throw in the towel and accept that maybe it is not meant for me to be social. it really does hurt.

 

I would'nt put yourself down for this, it probably has some good benefits. I'm sure there are other people out there you can share this with. I'm sure a girl/or boy will come along that will change your whole perspective, it's just a matter of time.

 

Cheers!

[Green]

go get that hypno thing done on u like in "Office Space"