What is wrong with me

[Lyndsay]

Help!!!!!

I need some input some others as I am to the point where I know longer know how to feel or cope with this issue.

I have a wonderful loving boyfriend who means the whole world to me. We have a great relationship and have had one for over 5 years. He has diabetes where he is on insulin.

In 2000 he had a condition with his diabetes that caused him to go in and out of a coma, he nearly died. By the grace of GOD he managed to get better and is everything is fine with him.

BUT NOT ME!!!!

I have had dreams and thoughts of him dying and I am unable to sleep or think other wise. If he is late coming home from work I assume the worst that he has been in an accident, if his breathing is heavy at night because he is tired I wake him up, I am driving us both crazy, and I am wondering why am I feeling this way. I know after the Sept. 11 tragedy I did feel sad and grew more appreciative of what we have together, but I am feeling especially since Sept.11 that something awful is going to happen to him...

Is anyone else going through a personal hell such as I am

Because I do not know how much longer I can live like this???

Thanks for any help

Should I tell the b/f what I am feeling because he knows that I am acting strange!!!!

[Tony T]

You should definitely discuss this with your boyfriend. It is not normal. I'm sure he will consider himself very lucky to be with a lady who cares so much...but at the same time nobody wants to be around a worrier.

 

You simply can't keep awfulizing about life. If you do, you will end up not living it.

 

I suggest you and your boyfriend go together to his physician. Discuss in detail what you have posted here. Let the doctor discuss all the symptoms and possiblities. You will find that your worries are completely unfounded.

 

The fact that you even worry about him being in an accident if he is late coming home from work indicates a psychopathology which goes even deeper. You may need counselling to see why your fears of abandonment and loss of love go beyond the normal range.

 

Rather than worry so much, why don't you take that energy and put it into seeing that your boyfriend takes his medicine on schedule, gets the right exercise and proper diet, and that the quality of his life maximizes his chances for longevity? As it stands now, you're likely to go way before him due to worry.

 

I have no idea why people are going so bonkers about September 11. This was the first time in the six billion year history of the universe that a commercial airliner, or two of them, crashed into skyscrapers. We live in a crazy world where your chances of falling on your head walking out the front door and dying are infinitely better than you or anyone you love getting hit by an airplane.

 

If you let yourself remain upset like this, you only give victory to the nasty, pathetic terrorists who thank God each day they have this kind of affect on you and others. Why give them the pleasure of such thoughts?

 

If you live each day the best you can and your boyfriend does the same, you will be doing your best. But I promise you the worry you experience sends chemicals into your bloodstream that will foreshorten your life...and make it miserable in the meantime.

 

The personal hell you refer to that you are going through is entirely of your making. Turn your life around and do your best to make it great...you only get on chance at it!

[velvet]

Why do we build up our imaginations up to make our lives hell?

 

What you describe sounds similar to panicking. Its a state of mind that you choose to live in. At first it seeming natural to worry turns into obsessive worry that turned around and took control of you. Then that begins to tire you out mentally and physically and alters your daily mood.

 

Your worried about health,surviving and death. Obsessing would be like a living without life. I suppose you have to make some changes in your routines to start the reverse process. There is absolutely nothing wrong with helping someone discipline their lifestyle to maintain a healthy life. You can help your b/f live responsibly but only to an extent.We can only control so much, than let nature do the rest.

 

Enjoy! Learn to enjoy and not worry. In constant worry you cant enjoy life. If this state of worry is bothering you so much why not ask for your physicians thoughts about it. That would be my first step to some peace and silence.