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Checking my myspace?

LeftBehind

By LeftBehind,
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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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I'm new here, so let me explain my situation.

 

I met this girl when she was getting ready to break things off with a long-term boyfriend. She and I fell very hard for each other. We had one of those "strange" connections....we could read each others minds...and I could complete her sentences before she was done saying them, after only knowing her a few months. It was weird.

 

She told me earlier on she would need alot of time for herself after they broke up, and stupid me I should have listened to her. She always told me how she had faith it would work out in the end, and how we were right for each other...just not at that time.

 

I remember, the last few weeks we talked I was downspiraling. Very depressed. Got really "emotional" with her a few times and she told me she would never abandon me or ditch me for getting emotional or having insecurities.

 

4 days later she breaks up with this guy. She begins ignoring me. She ignores me for two weeks. I get insane because I don't know what's happened, she hasn't told me. She finally tells me after two weeks of me losing it and thinking I had screwed up that they broke up and she was being distant to everyone.

 

Well. The next couple of weeks I get really clingy...she grows more distant...and angry at me. Finally I lose it and scream at her. Calling her a liar and selfish (I realize now I was the one being selfish). She replies telling me she's not a liar, that her feelings had changed and that she doesn't want anyone waiting on her. She wanted to be left alone so she could deal with all the junk in her head.

 

This is when I go into NC. Been almost 6 months of NC.

 

I remember back in April, when things were still perfect between us, I had a dream. I dreamt that we were drinking at my house...she gets too wasted off a couple drinks...and her parents show up at my doorstep in a cab. She jumps in the backseat. And I already know it's taking her off to rehab. I tell her the I love her. She says "I know you do". Then the cab drives off, and I wake up.

 

Basically I predicted in my dream what was going to happen, 2 months before it happened.

 

Haven't dreamt about her once in the 6 months since. Until this past week I've dreamt about her 3 times. One of the times we were both in this library. She would sit down somewhere, I would sit down next to her...then she would get annoyed...and walk off to go sit somewhere else. I would follow her....and sit down next to her again...and she would leave again..annoyed. This happened several times until finally I lost interest...went and sat somewhere by myself and went about my business. Then all of a sudden she walks up to me with this HUGE smile on her face, runs her finger up my chin...grabs my hand and tells me to come with her....then I wake up.

 

I have one of those tracker things on my myspace, yeah I know..pathetic.. But really, I was just curious who was lookin....

 

She's been lookin. Once or twice every week she looks at it.

 

Reads all my journal entries and stuff, but never says anything.

 

Is it possible she might want to try again? I realize I acted like a moron...just curious why she would be lookin at my myspace if she really doesn't want anything to do with me anymore....

 

I've heard that sometimes dreaming about them out of the blue like that, especially as much as I did this week...can mean they are thinking about you too....

 

Any ideas? (Sorry for the lengthy post).

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Kamille

Kamille

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Dreams are freaky. I have had dreams like that about people I was connected with. I remember one night I dreamt that I was at a party with my first ex and I kept looking everywhere for him frantically. I finally ran to the window and saw him walking away with someone else.

 

Turns out that was the precise day he met the girl who was to become his girlfriend.

 

There is another interpretation to your recent dream. They could mean that you are finally feeling better about yourself, kind of like you felt when you two had that good connection, and therefore you've started dreaming about her.

 

I think it's best to work with reality. You know she goes and check your myspace so you know she still thinks about you. But there's no way to tell from dreams and myspace trakers if she wants a second chance.

 

How would you feel about dropping her a line, or calling her, or getting in touch with her just to say hello?

 

Oh, and what's this, myspace has trackers? :eek: what kind of info is on there? I am guilty of checking my ex's myspace - I never realized he might have a way of knowing I did!

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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Well see that's the thing. I sent her a short apology e-mail back in early October apologizing for the way I acted. Because, yeah I acted like an idiot.

 

I told her there was no need to respond (to try and keep the pressure off). So naturally she didn't.

 

But she still looks at my myspace once a week or so.

 

I don't want to come across like I'm still desperate and needy like I was back then.

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gonetildecember

gonetildecember

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myspace/msn is the next anti-christ... with my exes i was usually good about not checking, but i find that i did it with the two exes i considered getting back with

 

i would want to check up on them or see what they were up to.. to see if they'd moved on.. or mentionned some sort of hidden messages about me in their pages...i didn't want to come out and call or let them know that i wanted to know...but i didn't want to miss out on parts of their lives either.

 

in terms of the dreams. i've heard that too. maybe this can help lol

 

My Jelly Bean's Dream Dictionary Says:

[FONT=comic sans ms][sIZE=2][COLOR=#0033cc]Reuniting

If you dream of reuniting (getting back together) with an ex, it suggests that you have been repeating old patterns of behavior in your life that are not healthy.

 

[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT][FONT=comic sans ms][sIZE=2][COLOR=#0033cc]Ex-Girlfriend

If you dream about your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, you may be comparing yourself to the ex. The dream is warning you not to make the same relationship mistakes that ended their relationship.

 

http://www.myjellybean.com/dream/pagee.html

[/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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So what do you think I should do?

 

She doesn't check it THAT often. I made it private for a little while, and turned it back to public. But roughly once a week or so.

 

Then again, she only gets on like once or twice a week usually anyway (atleast from what I remember).

 

I figure she HAS to miss me on some level if she's even interested at all. Otherwise she'd check it once like I do with all my other friends, and then not look again.

 

Maybe she's afraid I'll get angry or that I don't feel the same anymore? Or could it be just curiosity and she really doesn't care?

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gonetildecember

gonetildecember

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It's a tough situation to call..

I know that i've looked at ex's pages just to see what they were up to, but once or twice a week is quite frequent for simple curiosity i think (but don't get your hopes up)

 

in terms of what you should do.. what do you have to lose? does she have myspace.. why don't you leave her a casual comment.. something simple.. "haven't talked in a bit, glad to see you're doing ok" or something like that.. and see if she replies..

 

at least it opens the doors of communication, if she is scared this will be her way in, and if she's just doing it out of curiosity.. you were just being polite and saying hi to catch up..

 

 

what do u think?

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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I dunno. Since I sent her that apology email in October, I don't want to put myself out there too much. I don't want to come across as desperate or needy or anything.

 

She was the one who said she needed to be left alone back in may/june.

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gonetildecember

gonetildecember

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Well then I guess you can wait it out.. see if she comes to you. If her myspace visits persist.. say for another month or so... try something.

Is she the kind of person to hold back her feelings.. meaning if she wanted to contact you.. do you think her pride/fear would keep her from doing so?

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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Well then I guess you can wait it out.. see if she comes to you. If her myspace visits persist.. say for another month or so... try something.

Is she the kind of person to hold back her feelings.. meaning if she wanted to contact you.. do you think her pride/fear would keep her from doing so?

 

Definitely that kind of person. She even told me so once. That she's really "slow" with matters of the heart. When we first met, she had a crush on me during a time when I had absolutely NO idea she had one on me. I mean no idea at all. I had a crush on her, and honestly thought she wasn't interested at all.

 

She always talked about how she's never felt that way about anyone, how different she and I were. Until may/june anyway.

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gonetildecember

gonetildecember

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So do you think that's whats holding her back?

 

I don't want you to take a step backwards by contacting her, but i think the best thing to do is wait it out a few more weeks.. if there is still no contact on her part and she is still frequenting your myspace page... i don't think a little comment will hurt you that much.

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Kamille

Kamille

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in terms of what you should do.. what do you have to lose? does she have myspace.. why don't you leave her a casual comment.. something simple.. "haven't talked in a bit, glad to see you're doing ok" or something like that.. and see if she replies..

 

at least it opens the doors of communication, if she is scared this will be her way in, and if she's just doing it out of curiosity.. you were just being polite and saying hi to catch up..

 

 

what do u think?

 

I think this is good advice given the situation. The only thing that holds me back is that you seem to be feeling a bit too vulnerable to actually be able to approach her in a friendly, casual yet caring, way.

 

This was a very dramatic emotional situation for both you and her. You must believe that on her side, she is going through her own process of healing. I would suggest that you find ways, on your side, to gain a more positive perspective on the situation, so as not to be so focused on the drama of it.

 

Forgive yourself for the way things unfolded. You both tried your best at the time. The way you felt is not entirely your fault. If I had been in your situation, (she breaks up with her boyfriend and disappears for two weeks) I would have probably felt very vulnerable too and would have appreciated a little phone call telling me : "listen there are things I need to figure out alone. Give me a few weeks." She didn't do that. You can forgive her and understand, but you should also forgive yourself for how you reacted to it. It must have been hard!

 

So I agree with Gonetildecember (how are you doing girl?). Wait a few weeks. Give yourself the right to contact her once you feel the time is right.

 

goodluck and keep us posted!

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smoochie

smoochie

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What is a myspace tracker? You can see exactly who is looking on your page? How and where do I get one, please? hanks and sorry for hijacking your thread with this question but really want to get one for my page. :rolleyes:

 

Yeah, just leave a nice, cute little message and see if she bites.

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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What is a myspace tracker? You can see exactly who is looking on your page? How and where do I get one, please? hanks and sorry for hijacking your thread with this question but really want to get one for my page. :rolleyes:

 

Yeah, just leave a nice, cute little message and see if she bites.

 

You know I was thinking of sending her a message saying that I'd love to be friends, but that I don't see us in a relationship after what happened.

 

Not to manipulate, but honestly to get a friendship going without the added pressure of assuming we're going to date at some point....that way it's just the way it began?

 

What do you think?

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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What is a myspace tracker? You can see exactly who is looking on your page? How and where do I get one, please? hanks and sorry for hijacking your thread with this question but really want to get one for my page. :rolleyes:

 

Yeah, just leave a nice, cute little message and see if she bites.

 

http://www.myspacelog.com.

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gonetildecember

gonetildecember

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So I agree with Gonetildecember (how are you doing girl?).

 

Hey Kamille, not doing too bad... trying to stick to NC lol..:)

 

Leftbehind,

 

I don't think you should mention anything about being friends yet, you don't even know why she's looking at your page. If you decide to leave her a comment.. just keep it simple.. u can say happy belated thanksgiving, or just stopped by ur page.. looks like ur doing good... something casual.. don't bring feelings/relationship stuff into it, until you get some sort of response/contact from her.

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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Hey Kamille, not doing too bad... trying to stick to NC lol..:)

 

Leftbehind,

 

I don't think you should mention anything about being friends yet, you don't even know why she's looking at your page. If you decide to leave her a comment.. just keep it simple.. u can say happy belated thanksgiving, or just stopped by ur page.. looks like ur doing good... something casual.. don't bring feelings/relationship stuff into it, until you get some sort of response/contact from her.

 

Well, we aren't listed as friends on that site anymore. So I can't just leave a comment.

 

I'd have to actually send her a message. So I should wait 3-4 weeks, and if she keeps looking at the site send her a small message saying hi?

 

This won't seem stupid after sending that e-mail like a month ago?

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gonetildecember

gonetildecember

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i say if in the next two weeks she keeps checking your site, two three time a week.. then just send her a message.. but remember.. keep it very casual.. not like ur email that was relationship related.. act like u just happened to stop by her page, and are just being friendly..

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Chrissy0515

Chrissy0515

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Ooo OoOo First of all, How did you get that myspace tracker!!! I want one and all the ones i get are fake. And 2 yes, i am a myspace stalker. I do check random peoples' sites, but not on a consistent basis.. she is interested

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BannaBee57

BannaBee57

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Yeah, just thought I'd let you know that I tried the link and it didn't work. It thought I was someone else with the same name and hooked her log onto my account. I heard all the trackers for Myspace were fake, but if it's working for you then who knows. Maybe I'll try again later...

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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Yeah, just thought I'd let you know that I tried the link and it didn't work. It thought I was someone else with the same name and hooked her log onto my account. I heard all the trackers for Myspace were fake, but if it's working for you then who knows. Maybe I'll try again later...

 

Well the reason I know it works is because it shows my IP when I check the site, every time.

 

And it showed my friends when I had them test it.

 

Maybe you put in the wrong friend ID.

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LeftBehind

LeftBehind

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I guess I should also mention, she hasn't looked in a couple weeks. But then again, she hasn't been online in a while either.

 

Once a week, maybe a little less than that, seems to be the average. Maybe once every two weeks.

 

I just don't wanna screw this up, if I have a shot.

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BannaBee57

BannaBee57

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Well, if she's only online once a week but she usually checks it every time she's on then she still is interested in what you're up to. Maybe she checks all her friend's sites just to see what's new. But, then again maybe she's checking to make sure you don't have a new girlfriend or anything. If I were you I'd get some cute girls that she doesn't know to post some comments or pics (nothing too crazy...just friendly but cute stuff) on your site and add them to your top friends. It might give her a little push in the right direction :laugh: Of course, this could also make her think you don't care any more...I guess how you play it form here out will have to be up to you. Good luck though!!

 

 

 

Oh yeah, I got my tracker to work but it only shows the people who also have a tracker. The others just show up as "private" and an IP address is provided. So, any way to track down who's IP address it is? I've only had it since last night and there are already people who have looked 3-4 times. Wierdos!

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