hmmmm?

[aly]

So my ex & I reconcilled & we are off to a good start...laughing, sharing good times, ect. But, Im hurt and bothered by this particular issue. The only time he touches me or kisses me is when we are in bed & he wants sex. He wont even cuddle or hug me...it makes me feel used. I want to talk to him about it, but, I just dont know what to say or how to bring it up without sounding like Im so desperate for his attention. Im just saying that I have expectations & he is not meeting this need for me to feel wanted any other way than but sexual...and that hurts!

[Tony T]

What you're asking for is not something you are desperate for. What you want is something that should be part of a normal, healthy relationship...thing that every healthy woman wants.

 

If you do not feel wanted or loved by somebody unless they are wanting SEX (you didn't even call it "making "love"), then you don't have much of a relationship. Even after years of being together, there should be some touching and acts of affection.

 

Not only do you have a right but you have an obligation, not only to yourself but to the relationship. to bring this up to him. I don't know if it will do much good, though. If he doesn't feel naturally inclined to show loving feelings toward you, I just don't see how you're asking could help much in the long run but you have to try. This may be something the two of you have to work on long term if he understands its critical nature and is willing.

 

Sit him down and have a talk with him and let him know EXACTLY how you feel. I unconditionally guarantee that if you let this go very long, you will grow to resent him and the relationship will be totally destroyed.

 

As a matter of fact, don't stop talking to him until you are satisfied that he FULLY UNDERSTANDS just how important this issue is to you and just how important to the longevity of the relationship it is for him to show you more emotion and loving responses.

 

Again, your hurt will turn into anger, despair, frustration and resentment if you don't get the two of you on a program of working this out. Meanwhile, there is no good reason for "having sex" with him if you don't feel that doing so is an expression of a lot more than his desire to get his rocks off.

 

I'd say you may have caught this just in time. Talk to him as soon as possible. Be kind but firm. Many men are not good listeners. Let him know your purpose in this talk is not to nag him but to save the relationship. Make sure that is frightfully clear to him. If you don't, the beginning of the end will be near.

 

Being with someone who shows you no feelings will eventually lead to a very lonely existence. You may just be with the wrong guy. Find out quick!!!

[velvet]

Does he express himself at all other than in the sheets? The longer you feel this way the more time your wasting. You must either talk out your frustration or just go after the attention you need yourself.

 

You wish he would hold your hand once in a while or pull you close to him and wrap his arms around you. You could try by making those moves yourself. Grab his arms and put them around you. See how he reacts when you go after the attention.

 

If you have the talk just simply tell him what you want, if he is unwilling or says he just cant do it than you know he has problems or issues to deal with and your better off without him than dealing with his issues.