Author Trialbyfire Posted November 26, 2006 Author Share Posted November 26, 2006 lol, I've been writing an email for the last day or so, modifying it and saving it to drafts. I will be sending it when I've completed it to my satisfaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Anka Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 Just keep it. Why send it? All you really need is to get it out of your system. Why cause more pain and stress? The more time passes, you will be healing and he will still suck. Writing him a nasty email will be sending a message that you still care. The words wont mean anything to him, all he will see is that he still has your attention. You want him to suffer and feel crappy, well, indifference is the only way to accomplish this. Treat him like a ghost, they HATE that. Nothing will make him feel worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 26, 2006 Author Share Posted November 26, 2006 Btw, were you the guest in my thread? Link to post Share on other sites
Anka Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 Nope. Why? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 26, 2006 Author Share Posted November 26, 2006 Not a big deal, just wondering who guest is because there's a familiar pattern to the responses. Anyways...thanks. You've helped. Whether it seems like it or not, I do understand what you're trying to communicate to me. I have to think about how I need to address my situation, in the way that works for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Anka Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 Hey, just keep posting, and writing letters and talking to people. Your doing just fine. Let yourself go through it, you will no matter what, and you will only prolong the pain fighting it. But for the love of god, Dont contact him!!!! Take care! and Hugs! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trialbyfire Posted November 27, 2006 Author Share Posted November 27, 2006 I think I've made up my mind and am not going to waste anymore time or emotion on this. I not only owe it to myself but to the new guy I'm seeing who doesn't deserve any backlash from this. As I said before, neither one of us is looking for anything long-term so it fits right in. He's an awesome guy who deserves my focus and is so sweet. A few of my friends have met him before when they came in to my workplace to pick me up and they think he's really nice and really hot, lol. So do I. Link to post Share on other sites
vanessabg Posted December 31, 2006 Share Posted December 31, 2006 How long ago did your husband cheat on you? Have you ever cheated on him? Many time he cheated me but i never cheat him ever in my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted January 2, 2007 Share Posted January 2, 2007 I'm a new "guest" poster, the only reason I would not advise the backlash is it may not turn out the way you wanted, my ex who I caught emotionally cheating had his new girl call me and tell me off when I did the spewing of my hate and rage. It stopped my healing, I did not see it coming, to be humiliated by the people who were so cruel to begin with was almost more than I could take, amd I had opened myself up to it because I underestimated his cruelty. For some reason, I pictured unloading and walking away, but he upped the ante, I had a choice to go and debase myself once more, or walk forever, I chose the 2nd and wished for my own self I had never opened myself to that. Now it is long gone and it does not matter anymore. You will get to this place faster if you don't engage in it. If someone does that to you in the 1st place, they are capable of much worse and I hate to tell you but he can probably bring you down worse since he was the one who caused the pain. It is nice to imagine him melting into a castrated pile of tears after your verbal tongue lashing, but most likely it will not go that way. My point is, I know no one wants to hear that it is better not to fight, if you could speak and be assured triumph I would say go for it but you are also in a vulnerable place. And you do not want an unfoseen setback to double your rage, you have been hurt enough. And I seriously doubt anything you say will make a behavorial change, I'm sorry but it is true. I say don't open yourself up to his brand of debasement, it is not about being better, it is about avoiding more harm. They know what they did was wrong, and they will hate you for your rage , it will not change anything. I know anytime I have tried to recoup my losses through confrontation I have lost in ways I did not see coming, and it made me hurt for twice as long. You can try it, I wish you luck, but ask yourself if you could take the consequences, it may not end there. And you'll end up going over the new hurt in your mind. Concentrate on your new beau, much better things will happen. Don't choose the path of hell. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Trialbyfire Posted January 2, 2007 Author Share Posted January 2, 2007 The situation has been resolved to my satisfaction. Everyone needs to empower themselves in whatever means possible whether you're the type of person who turns the other cheek or a more aggressive individual. A simple tongue lashing is silly. I always believe that if you're going to do anything, do it with style, lol. Affairs are incredibly damaging for many parties. To indulge in one, is a sign of weakness. You've allowed your integrity and principles to be eroded upon and have somehow justified your actions with excuses. An Affair is not about growing up and becoming more tolerant. It's about weakness. Link to post Share on other sites
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