Boyfriends insecurities may just hurt us........Idk what topic this would go under

[Chrissy0515]

My boyfriend and i have been dating for 3 years, we broke up once, and i tihnk it was because he thought girls wouldnt talk to him because of me....(im not restrictive its just everyone knows we're together) but then we broke up, and still not many girls did talk to him. (haha) which is odd because he is very VERY attractive, loyal and funny. (maybe too little kiddish?) i dont know what girls wouldnt like about him but hes starting to get self conscious again. he says i could get whatever guy i want if i wasnt with him and he wouldnt be able to get any girl at all.

 

he didnt mean hes only with me because im the only thing he can get, but just that he feels so insecure that im "so hot" and no girls think he is attractive. I know they do because people tell me. But he still doesnt believe me. What can i do to make him see this? i feel like if he doesnt get confidence, he will just get overly upset and freak out, and it will just make him blame me again and think if he were single, he would get recognized.

 

i hope i didnt make him sound like a prick. haha its hard to type out but he is happy with me, he just wants confidence that he is good enough for me. (and my reassurance isnt helping)

[IpAncA]

Well if everyone knows your together then that's why no girl is hiting on him. They know he's taken.

 

Is it really that important that girls don't talk to him? Sounds like he thinks that if someone better then him comes along you will leave him for that other guy. Just assure him positive things and hopefully he will come around.

[diggingthehole]

I am sort of in a similar situation, only that I'm married and my husband doesn't really care if any other women want him. He always says "I don't know why you married me" and he constantly talks about how he is unattractive and hates the way he looks. He refuses to take pictures, also.

 

I tell him the same things you do, that people tell me they think he is attractive. He says "they are just saying that to be nice" I tell him "People don't go OUT of their way to let me know you are attractive, if they thought you were ugly, they just wouldn't say anything at all"

 

I don't know what to tell you in this situation, b/c I'm at a loss, myself.

It's very frustrating to have to deal with someone who a)doesn't believe you and b)is constantly down on themself.

 

Good luck to you, though.

[norajane]

I'm sorry, but I don't have a lot of sympathy for him! Why is he spending so much time and thought worrying about other girls? Shouldn't he be spending more time and thought on your relationship so he doesn't damage it or hurt your feelings? Shouldn't he be appreciating you and what you have together? Why is it soooo important that other girls fall all over themselves for him? Would he then leave you for someone better?

 

Other girls don't talk to him or don't like him because he has self-confidence issues. That always comes through, and girls DO NOT like guys who are sad-sacks and whiners and moaners. Whether he whines and moans to them is irrelevant - they can tell from a mile away whether a guy feels good about himself or not.