how time really does make a difference

[silentalways]

one year ago, my ex and i broke up and after many ups and downs i really have only myself to blame for messing things up but here is how time makes a difference on how one [the dumpee] views things. at first, i was heartbroken and didn't understand why she wanted to leave. couldn't see that months of her trying, my substance and emotional abuse had killed any trust she had, then my depression cause me to focus inward and project blame onto her, when in reality, the only 'known facts' were things i had done.

 

so, time passed and i still 'placed the emphasis' on the external whys. gradually, i came to see that the only things that mattered were the 'things' i was doing wrong in my life and the 'reasons of the past' didn't matter, meaning, she obviously had pretty strong reasons so instead of trying to 'make the past better', it was important to make 'my present better' and stop 'forcing' something that was no longer there. that took me over 5 months to figure out and it will take me longer to simply act upon because one doesn't change overnight. so, time does heal and point u in the right direction after all. thankfully i learned this lesson before i totally messed up. what time has given me is a new way of looking at my past, my present and my future and a new respect for those who understand and practice healthy relationships and how dealbreakers, boundaries, and honesty should not be simply 'known' but 'acted' upon. time makes u not 'wish' for second chances but makes u 'aware' of what is needed the next time someone special comes into yer life. time makes u cease shameful longing and allows u to begin to renew happiness for yerself and those who entered your life and changed you for the better.

 

this is what my ex did for me and i will always be grateful because i no longer am filled with the pain of self pity but cherish all my friends that truly cared enuff to take extreme steps to get me back on track. that is a great gift.