I've gotten myself into a real pickle with my feelings...

[reallyconfusedbymen]

My situation is sticky to say the very least. I am stuck between two guys that are totally different. Both friends, one a long term friend/ex boyfriend of two years and another being a guy I knew from highschool but didn't start spending time with until this year. We will call the ex "A" and the current interest "B." Let me begin my story by telling you about my relationship with "A."

 

"A": A friend since middle school. A wonderful guy who I eventually started dating in college. We had a wonderful relationship for two and 1/2 years and then he moved to persue further options for his career. Living almost six hours away, we tried to do the long distance thing. Long story short it changed the dynamics of our relationship and I wanted to be just friends. This was a little over a year ago that we broke up and since then I have been to see him once and he has been to see me several times. We are still good friends and talk openly about possibly being able to persue something in the future if we are ever in the same city and on the same page. The problem now for me is that I am currently interested in another guy ("B") whom I met this summer and have been seeing on a regular basis since then. This has diffused any sort of passion I have had for "A" Let me now tell you about B.....

 

"B": Total opposite of "A." Slightly older, different views on life. Lives in the same city as me. I knew him in highschool but we weren't close friends. We started hanging out through mutual friends this summer and since the end of August I have been seeing him on a regular basis. Our friendship developed into a sexual relationship on the grounds that both of us didn't want any strings attached. He had come out of a bad break up and well...my situation is that written above. Well, that developed into me staying at his place quite frequently with him wanting me to stay there. The problem though is now that I have been getting mixed signals from him. He in my opinion is very confused about what he wants which makes me want to be done with him but it's not that easy. I have developed strong feelings for him and he seems to feel the same way at times. We haven't talked openly about how we feel for each other. I want to just cut ties with him b/c of the fact that he confuses me about what he wants but my curiosity about what can become of this is overwhelming.

 

In the meantime I still have A who wants to be with me very much. I love him dearly and we have quite a history together. A is very much the guy that would I could marry in the future but I don't have same passion for him that I once did. B is so wishy washy about what he wants. He constantly gives mixed signals and tries to play it off like he doesn't care for me. I know I deserve better but I don't know what to do. I can't change the way I feel about him. I've tried.

 

My question to those of you reading this thread is this: What should I do to end things on a good note with B? I know he isn't the one I will marry but he has me wrapped around his finger right now. I don't know what it is. He is not the typical guy that I would fall for. How do I get the spark back into my relationship with A? I know I need to be with him in the future but I want the passion and lust that we once had....am I doomed? Should I just call it quits with both? HELP!!!

[michelangelo]

Your time with A is over. There is no way you can get back what you think you had by having sex with someone else--broken up or not.

 

B is not longterm material. he is strictly rebound stuff.

 

Why not move on and not have any boyfriend for a bit?

 

Then you'll acquire one when the time is right when there is no baggage.

 

I get the impression that you do not do the casual sex thing very well.

 

Look for someone with whom you can have A full-on love relationship.