confused

[babyface]

hi reader

 

so this is my problem....

 

8 months ago I fell for this guy but it seemed almost

 

impossible to get him..we were living at least 100km

 

apart, he was 3 years younger....i'm in university

 

he's not carrer minded...our first languages are

 

different, so are our backgrounds etc...different

 

interests, we listen to opposite type of music...but most of all different goals in life..but that didn't seem

 

important at the time, all i wanted was him.

 

i got to know him through my sister so i perpetrated

 

all kinds of tricks, i would invite myself over. suggest

 

we all get together...just to be close.nobody suspected anything.by the way, the feeling was mutual...i finnally

 

got what i wanted, it wasn't easy, we both had to

 

relocate etc but we made it and now we live together and love eachother very much...that's not what i wanna talk

 

about however....i'm wondering if any of you experiences the same feeling..i mean here is this guy whom i love

 

and worked so hard to get but i have those mood swings

 

it's like one day i'm SOOOOo in love with him, he means

 

the world to me...the other day he'll be nothing...a guy

 

without a education or a career, disguisting, ....one day he'll be handsome but the next i think he's ugly and can't look

 

at him..sometimes i want to leave him but sometimes

 

to me he's the best thing i could have..what is wrong

 

with me?could the problem exist in what we do...i mean

 

i'm abitious, he's not although he's smart....

 

does that mean i should look for someone who's also

 

career minded...but couples with opposite interests

 

and goals also work right.?im confused..i don't want

 

to loose him but at the same time i don't want to

 

waste our time and constantly hurt him by telling him

 

he's not good enough for me....

 

plzzzzzz help

[Christine]

Could it be (just from how you worded the whole thing) that the "act" of achieving what looked impossible was more what attracted you than he?

 

That perhaps you just fell in love with the idea of being together with him, cuz he is so exotic and different from what you are, and not so much with him.

 

Perhaps you thought you could change by whatever you didn´t like in your life by that time if you could be together with him. And perhaps some part of you thought you would feel better about yourself if you could get his attention?

 

Perhaps you followed more your dreams than your real feelings?

 

I really do not want to offend you, and perhaps I am doing you injustice by saying that - but that was just what I thought when I read your letter.

 

Cuz it sounded not so much that the problem is the big difference between you, but that you seemed somehow dissapointed with what you´ve got because you that he would be different.