Should I forget her?

[Cub]

I'm new here, but I've been using these fourms to help me with a recent breakup for a few months now. A general thanks to you all for the help.

I'll skip the details and get straight to the point, but you can ask me about them later if you need some additional info.

 

Basically, my ex left me for another guy that she had been seeing while we were together. I forgave her for that and we got back on pretty good terms, staying friends. The last couple of weeks I've been helping her study for a test so she's been in and out of my house. We've been having a lot of fun together and I've really gotten to know her better than I did even when we were together, for the couple months that we were before she dumped me for that other guy and played me for a fool.

 

A couple of days ago on Saturday she was over again to study. The problem is, after gettin really close for a few hours, she kissed me. She then admitted that she was still with the guy she left me for and that she felt guilty cause she has no self-control, but then she kissed me again: this time it turned into a general makeout session. When it comes right down to it, she ripped my heart in two and had me extremely depressed for a couple months. I did NC for a month and got over her right before she came back into my life, but when she came over, said she still had the guy she left me for, said she still had feelings for me and then said she wasn't going to leave him for me...my head hurts and I think I do still feel something for her. I forgave her yesterday for basically using and dumping me again in one night, but now I'm not so sure.

 

I really need help here you guys so break out your best!

[Krying]

Wow, she actually said she wasn't going to leave the other guy for you? I'd say move on. She's got the power here to choose who she wants to be with. Obviously after all this time, she's not sure who that person is. Take the high road, go NC and don't look back. She was cheating on you with this guy, says she won't leave him for you, and blows you off on a whim. Seems pretty clear she doesn't respect you at all. Now of course if you like or love her, this will all be hard to handle. If you don't love her, then move on and find someone who will want to be with you and only you.

[Trialbyfire]

She's a piece of work. Want some harsh advice from a woman? If you still want her, bang her and then shut her down hard. At least you'll get something from her.

[Moose]

She's a piece of work. Want some harsh advice from a woman? If you still want her, bang her and then shut her down hard. At least you'll get something from her.

Not very gentleman like, but she's not doing you any services either.

 

I'm not saying that you should follow this advice, but I would definitely get her back in your house when you two are alone, and let your thoughts come out.

 

She should be told what she is, and what she's done to you. If she doesn't leave in tears, then you didn't do it right.....

[Cub]

I wish I could be that blunt, but I have a p[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]redisposition [/sIZE][/FONT]to...pushover. I suppose that's why she's been able to play me so far, so easily. I'll try that though, and then some NC maybe...

[Cub]

O right, I dunno if this is important or not but she hasn't told any of her firends about them being together. So basically, I'm the only one out of our mutual friends who knows that she's with him. Also, this isn't the first time she's done this to someone.

 

She's one of those girls who can't keep a lock on her emotions or relationships. I was warned before I went out with her that she was like this, but for some strange reason I chose not to listen to it.

 

I'm thinking she doesn't even have the maturity to be in a real relationship, but thats just me. I don't want to get into loving or just liking her because those titles will bind me to think or act in a certain way but I'll just say that i've known her for about a year and she's become one of my best friends, guess thats part of why its so hard to let her go.

[Trialbyfire]

I know what I said was pretty harsh and hopefully, I didn't offend you by it. I think you understand the gist of what I was trying to communicate to you. As Moose so succintly put it:

 

Not very gentleman like, but she's not doing you any services either.

[Cub]

I know what I said was pretty harsh and hopefully, I didn't offend you by it. I think you understand the gist of what I was trying to communicate to you. As Moose so succintly put it:

 

Yea, I get what you're saying and I agree. Like I said though, I think I'm too nice.

[Cub]

So I'm talking to her right now. What should I say?

[Krying]

I'm a firm believer in simple honesty. If you love her and have strong feelings for her, then tell her so. However, don't let her walk all over you. If she is undecided, then tell her it's best to part ways. See how she handles it.

[Cub]

That's now working. I guess I should just drop her fast and hard and get it over with

[Cub]

So basically she says that what happened saturday night was a mistake and she doesn't want us to hang out alone anymore. I think I might be in a bad spot here, but i can't bring myself to tell her to piss off for some reason. What can I do to bring myself to finally standing up because the friends thing, yea, that doesn't work for me. O and I just found out that the other guy is one of her best friend's bf. I'm not making this up, it's that messed up.

[Cub]

Well, for my own mental health, I did it. I told her that we shouldn't talk anymore because I couldn't take her playing with me. She said it was ok and just quietly let me go so I guess that's done. Now I need advise for keeping my NC...

[Krying]

Stay strong bro. I know you have feelings for this girl, but she didn't exactly sound sad you were letting her go. For NC, delete her from IM, remove pictures emails, no texting. You know the drill. I bet you she will test you too. So be prepared for that.