A painful so called friendship!

[Dream05]

I met this guy Halloween of last year while I was in a relationship, I never cheated b4 but the attraction was crazy. I didnt fight it, I would spend nights in his house he knew I had someonea nd asked me why I was doing it and I told him the attraction was crazy and I wanted a friends with benefits type of thing. He was ok with it, we hung out spend time together a couple times a month for like 4 months he was my Mr. Big while my boyfriend was Aiden (Sex and the City) then he got really obsessed with his poker and seemed to lose interest. During this time due to my boyfriends ridiculous temper we broke up in January.

 

This guy knew this and I think thats when he started being distant less phonecalls not much interest in hanging out, etc. Me and my boyfriend got back together in March. I spent the night with this guy right before in March on his bday but the sex was not the same he basically got it over with and went to sleep totally diffrent then before. Like he did a 360. In the morning he didnt even bother to get up and say goodbye didnt even drive me to the train he told me to take a cab.

 

I asked him if he just wasnt interested in this anymore and he said "I'm not interested in anything anymore except poker." He text me 2 days later told me he had a great time on his bday and thanked me. He dissapeared for 2 months didnt return my calls, text messages nothing until he saw me on MTV because I sent a mass text saying so. 2 months and suddenly he texts saying he was watching me on tv etc.Then the next day on my bday he texts me Happy Bday and calls me to have an hour conversation, by then I hadnt bothered him for atleast a month.

 

We randomly sent messages and when I tell him I want poker lessons he is all to eager to show me. We hang out buy poker books go to the movies acted like friends. He even texts me the next day back and forth for 8 hrs because he was upset about a loss and then boom he dissapears on me for 3 wks ignores all my messages again, reappears in July when he saw me on MTV again acting like nothing ever happened like he didnt dissapear on me when he was suppose to show me how to play.

 

He talks to me a couple days straight dissapears again, reappears when I didnt call him for 3 wks and I call him to say Hi. dissapears again for a month, ignoring my calls then reappers again by a mistake email he sent and i replied saying it was a mistake and he took the opp. to say " how are you" I went off I couldnt ignore it any longer and keep my mouth shut. I told him I was tired of being ignored when I call about anything.

 

He never answered dissapeared for 2 months, text me again when I text him by mistake with something started an hour long texting convo with me about how he was doing once again acting like nothing.I see him at this years Halloween party the attraction was there again we wanted each other bad he asked me to spend the night with him I said no because my friend was sleeping over my house, but I wanted to bad. I'm just so attracted to him. We had been keeping in touch throughout this month talking almost everyday again, really felt like a strong friendship was forming then we had a day we were gonna hang out with a bunch of people and he completely stood me up which he had never done.

 

3 days passed no apology nothing i had left him a long message staing how I felt and how i didnt understand why he constantly does this and i thought we were friends above anything especially after a year. No apology came I was so depressed I actually text him how I couldnt believe he hadnt apologized by now and he answered "LOL, Sorry" what was that? I told him we couldnt be friends anymore but he still text me Happy Thanksgiving and asked me about a party my friends were having this past Saturday that I mass text messaged. He went to this party.

 

I was there when he saw me he came gave me a kiss on the cheek I said Hi coldly and walked away, he's gotta know I'm still upset about being stood up, I thought he would try to really apologize, instead right in my face he met some girl, looked alot like me, spoke to her the entire night, followed her around didnt even hang out with his friends, didnt even look my way, first time he ignores me right in my face.I left upset and crying which he didnt see i didnt even say goodbye.

 

I know we are not together we never were but he has gotta know it's gonna hurt me even if we are just so called friends, i never see him he knows this is the only place we would see each other for sometimes months, he went to it because i told him about it how couldhe be so cold.Am I wrong to feel hurt.To this day he thinks I never got back with my boyfriend so it isnt like he thinks i have one. The worst part is I'm obsessed with such a jerk when I have a man that loves me and i get so depressed and cry so much over this guy.

 

Even weirder I never wanted him as a boyfriend I just always wanted him even as a friend,for some reason with all this, I really liked him. By the way he is one of those really good looking guys that has many girls throwing themselves on him. Why does he always reappear after months or weeks he has his pick why keep coming around to me, why not cut me off like he does the rest that he gets some from and drops them? I do play along and act like nothing because I just want him to stick around but he never does.Some people say it's because he genuinely knows I'm a good friend and he does care for me but he fights it and isnt use to seeing girls in that way.

 

From what he has said he doesnt have any close female friends. It cant be sex we havent had it since March and we have hung out without him trying to get any from me.After he dissed me at the party i erased his number I've decided to dissapear myself from his life, I'm depressed but I cant keep neglecting my relationship, i do love my boyfriend I just really had a crazy attraction to this guy and I miss talking to him.

 

I need advice on what anyone feels he does these things and why he comes back, he might not anymore I feel like his message at that party was "whatever, your replaceable" he seemed so into her it really hurt to see that but maybe I was meant to finally see it so I can move on. Do you think he'll reappear or finally not come around? What should I do? I know I should move on but what do you feel this guy does this, he got a new job so it isnt poker much anymore what is it?

[ddnnee]

all i can say is... WOW.

[Rooster_DAR]

Your boyfriend deserves better.