lovefool525 Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 I need help with this please... One night I was on the computer and was checking out my messenger service and it's features, I noticed there was a chat logging system on it, so I checked it out. Well...what I found could have literally killed me, there was chat logs of my boyfriends ex-girlfriend with other people, meaning that she was in my home using my computer to talk to other people. I was devasted because the first message I seen was a message from my bf to her saying, "are we still on for some porn style sex tonight or what?" and her reply was, "I am already there." I called my boyfriend home to ask what the hell was going on, and he told me that she probably put that there for me to find. As much as I want to believe him, I don't. There were many chat logs and they went far back as early october. He admitted she came to visit to bring his daughter for a visit, but I am pretty sure he f*cked around on me with her, and the weekend prior, I found a thong underneath our bed. He claims that when the day she came over she had taken a shower there, but did not sleep over or anything. He looked me dead in the eye that he hadn't slept with her, or cheated on me, or anything. I love him a whole lot, and leaving him is not an option. We too have a daughter together, and I think that if we work past this we can carry on to have a good life together. I know he is a loser for doing this to me and I don't deserve it, but I truly love him and don't want to go out to find someone else. His ex is a sociopath....and I am chalking this up to be her trying to break us up, but I can't shake the feeling that he is lying as well. My question is, how do I confront my bf about lying, cheating, and hiding things behind my back....without losing him? Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 Oh man.. you have so much to learn here. First off, i'm sorry but he did cheat on you. He is still lying and as long as he's lying he'll continue to cheat on you. You can't fix what you don't acknowledge and he's continuing to be the player. My question is, how do I confront my bf about lying, cheating, and hiding things behind my back....without losing him? The problem with that question is that he should be scared of losing you. If he's not then he won't quit or doesn't love you enough to want to have a relationship with you. You want this to stop? The ONLY way to make that happen is for him to face consequences to his actions. His immaturity and disrespect will crush you emotionally if this doesn't stop by either him admitting & going to counseling or you leaving the relationship. Give the ultamatium that either NC happens and he gets counseling or it's over. You are much better off being single then being with someone who cheats on you like this. Get yourself checked for STDs as well. IMO this guy has been cheating on your for a long time now and really has no inclination to stop. Why should he, when you are just rolling on your back & piddling like a puppy? As long as you tolerate this it will continue to happen. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts