I think I'm beyond ... but I don't know

[angelchild42]

At the beginning of our relationship, I still had an ex that was hanging around, and even though I saw it as just friends, my girlfriend was threatened by it... to the point where I had to decide to let my ex go... this upset me for the better part of a week, not having to ever tell a friend goodbye like that... and made her mad, because it made her look like the bad guy.

 

There is someone, an IM friend, that is a mutual friend of ours, that I have confided into about our relationship... no emotional ties like my ex... and I have told her things about our relationship and shared a chat log with her that involved a fight, that INCLUDED her too... this was dishonest and disrespectful to our relationship, and I am ashamed of it... I have also made a comment on one of her myspace pictures...something sexually inappropriate, but only did it because I knew she would find it funny... not because I wanted to do it... because of this, and the confiding in her my girlfriend thinks that I am involved with her on some level... when I first hear this, I should have completely severed contact with her... a few weeks ago, we had an arguement and settled things, then about a week ago, our friend texted me... then called me 3 days later... by my answering, my girlfriend saw this as placing our relationship second... that I would do what I want, with no regard to our love. NOW I understand what she was talking about... and brought it up to clarify, so that I would understand better, but that made her think she had to make a decision to let me go or stay now... I told her that I don't want to talk to our friend anymore... that it's not worth ruining our relationship... but she says the damage is done, that it wouldn't matter anymore, and that it wouldn't be fair to our friend to hurt her... and I think she is considering ending it... she is the other half of my soul, and I would do anything for us... I just didn't see talking to my friend as an infringment on our love... help please

 

... it hasn't officially ended yet, and I think I have a chance still... she's allowing me to talk to her... we still have our conversations every day... I think she's waiting for me to realize something... or maybe to just say the right thing... I don't know... but right now... she feels destroyed.

[aeren944]

Be careful with this girl, man.

 

I understand the ex thing, but the IM mutual friend thing?? It seems a little too manipulative to me. I always get cautious when a girl tells me I need to ditch my friends for her. I just get a little wary. If this doesn't work out, you'll have lost the girl, and your friend.

[angelchild42]

Just talked to her, it is more the fact that after talking to our friend about everything in the past, and me KNOWING that my girlfriend is suspicious of her and I, that I continue to talk to her regardless of her feelings... she feels that even though I know how she feels about her and I (which is nothing) that I choose her over my girlfriend... now honestly, I could care less one way or the other about my IM friend... yea, we've talked on the phone, but this isn't a life long friend, or school buddy... I don't have emotional ties to her... so it doesn't bother me to say goodbye. But now she thinks I'm only saying goodbye because of our current problem...and wants me to think about it before I say anything to our friend, "the woman that is more important to me than her" ... I understand what she means, which is why I feel bad for talking to our friend, and why it doesn't bother me to say goodbye... I'm actually wondering what I can say to our friend, but in a tactful way.

 

I realize that sounds insensitive...but my girlfriend is my other half... the one I'm going to end up being with, we both know it... she's just livid with me, and I'm ashamed... I know that I won't know our friend for the rest of my life, I've had friends go away that I don't talk to anymore... but my girlfriend is staying, and I want to do anything and everything for us.