volleyballchick Posted November 28, 2006 Share Posted November 28, 2006 ok my boyfriend and i have been dating for about a year and a month...we've celebrated very holiday with each of our families...my family loves him and same for his bout me...well i have a pretty bad history...and well i told my boyfriends mom about everything i have ever done and have ever had happen to me....well just recently, my boyfriend was kinda sick...so he stayed home without his ma knowing...so i decided to stay home with him and take care of him...we fell asleep and set his ma's alarm clock...we forgot to reset it back and she found out...she said if she ever caught us doing that again she'll tell my dad...and im scared of my dad...his ma can get real bitchy and frankly im scared to go over to his house when shes there...how can i overcome that kind of fear??? Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 Ok...what has she done to make you scared of her...and what has your dad done? Link to post Share on other sites
Author volleyballchick Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 when she gets mad she yells...and i hate when people yell...i dont like to see people fight...my dad abused me and everything...he sets such high expectations for me...i got second honors in school once and the most he could say was...."you can do better"...not even a good job or nothing just u could do better... Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Sorry to hear that...the thing with abusive persons is "It's never enough" for them, no matter what you do they'll find a fault to keep abusing you... Well...first of all your bf's mother seems to have some of those traits, she has no right to yell at you...you probably can't put her in place but at least try and keep contact with her to a minimum...and stop opening up to her if that's how she treats you. Seems the most serious problem is of your father tho...have you considered reporting him when it gets bad? it can be annonymous so he wouldn't know it was you Link to post Share on other sites
Author volleyballchick Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 well i do keep contact with her to a min.and i do tell my bf that i dont like goin to his house nemore... well this one time, my friend and i were drinking, she got drunk and i didnt...she had a softball game that day and i was supposed to stay the night there...we turned ourselves in...my dad came to get me and we went back to my friends house to get my stuff, i got in his truck, i slammed the door, he yelled at me telling me not to slam the door, i said "sorry for slamming the stupid truck door" and he hit me in my face, my mouth started bleeding...we were goin down my friends hill and he was still hitting me, so i jumped out of the truck, he called me some names and i went to the hospital, i told the doctors what he had done and they did nothing...ive learned not to trust people into tryin to take care of this problem i really appriciate your replys by the way:) Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Hey...wow that's really bad...I posted a couple of articles in this forum that you might want to read about abuse. Those doctors are morons...I'm not sure but I think they broke the law too by not reporting it. However, don't let one bad experience bring you down, you can fight for your rights, like make a police complaint yourself when it happens and bring the evidence in form of medical certificates from the hospital... You can also report authorities for not doing the job, go to the media about it - they love stories like that... A big step you might keep in the back of your mind if things get really bad is filing for emancipation if you're over 15 years old - which means becoming a legal adult Take care...hope things are not too bad in your house every day Link to post Share on other sites
Author volleyballchick Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 well ive had MANY bad experiences in my life....i had to go to counseling for one of 'em but my dad doesnt quit know what happened to me...i dont want to report him b/c then he won't let me get emancipated and he'll make me move with my mom...my ma and i dont get along well either...so yea.... Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Well that's the thing about being emancipated, he doesn't get a say in it. If you have family or friends that are willing to host you, the court can grant you the emancipation and he'll have no parental rights over you, neither will your mom. Google child emancipation to find out more about that law... I know it's a huge step to take and you must be scared of it..but in the end you have to make the choice and decide which would be better for you. In the meantime here's a site of an organization that deals with domestic abuse : http://www.cfiowa.org/ you should call and ask them for advice.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author volleyballchick Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 thanks...thats really helpful...my boyfriend said that i should just move out and live with him b/c we're pretty sure that i'm prgnant too....so yea i got a lot on my plate...and i just never know who to turn to and talk to....but im glad you helped me out...you're a real big help... Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Don't mention it...but wow pregnant...things just seem to get more complicated May I ask how old you are? You seem pretty young from that picture...but then again maybe it's an older picture. If you are pregnant..well just think carefully about what to do, are you ready to have a baby, do you love your bf enough to move in with him...and will his family support that.....all your decisions to make in the end Link to post Share on other sites
Author volleyballchick Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 yes u may...i turn 16 in january...i know young but i have been with my boyfriend for bout a year and a month now...and ive had bad relationships in the past...ive been raped by 2 guys at same time, exs have beat me to the point where i bleed, and of course my parents...so my boyfriend makes me feel good bout myself and helps me out with dealin with my past...his family already said they would support us..some of my family does also...but i dont really have anyone to talk to anymore....my g-ma moved to missouri, i cant talk to my boyfriend bout our problems, i pretty much have no friends...thats pretty much why i resorted to this....may i ask how old you are???(if you don't mind me asking?) Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 You need to find out if you are pregnant. And honestly hope that your not. I spent 14 years married to a woman who could have been you. You need to get back into counseling ASAP. Report what your dad has done. You need to protect yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 You need to seek some help. Immeadiately. You must speak to someone about your situation. Perhaps make an appointment with a GP, or a local counselling service. Flick through the phone book. There are plenty of services available to young women who find themselves pregnant. Who the hell am I to judge but it certainly doesn't sound like you are ready to have this child and children having children can be a very unwise deicision. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 WoW...you certainly had alot of bad things happen to you..poor thing. First thing I think you should report the ones that raped you if you haven't already, it's never too late to and noone should get away with it. Now about the pregnancy...the thing is, you made this thread about your bf's mom, so if you move in with them and have the baby you'll be totally under his mom's control. Besides that, you have to think about your future also, if you raise a child from 16 will you be able to finish high school or go to college...or what kind of work will you get. Think about these things before deciding....I also agree you should seek pregnancy counselling...along with rape counselling, I know that's free in the US. P.S. : I'm 26... Link to post Share on other sites
Author volleyballchick Posted December 1, 2006 Author Share Posted December 1, 2006 well thank you all for your replys and advice...i know im young and everything...but if i am pregnant im keeping it...inm totally against abortion and adoption...and i stick with my morals...but i will try and get some counseling like you all have suggested...when i got counseling for the rape....the woman wanted me to tell my dad about it 5 days after our first meeting...i couldnt bring myself to tell him bc i know he'll tell me its my fault...part of me knows it isnt but another part of me says it is... i know i shouldnt live with her if we do have a baby...thats why i might move wit my g-ma, my aunt, or my cousin bc they said theyd help...but its already hard to get a decent job right now...my dad wont let me get a job even tho i beg and plead...and i got 2 things on my record...(but i can "seal it" when im 18)...those 2 things are bc i hung out with the wrong crowd...but i was tryin to be something im not and thats why i have no more friends bc i left them bc they didnt accept me for who i was Link to post Share on other sites
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