xo_Lost In Love_xo Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 To make a long story short, I have been dating the new guy "A" for like 4 months now. After going back and forth with my ex bf "P" for about two years, he has come to realize that he wants to be with me and work on a future/family. This sucks. I mean, A is an awesome guy. He is good to me and good to my son and has done nothing wrong to me at all... and wouldn't. However, I feel that we have two opposite lifestyles. A is two years younger than me and this is the first shot he's ever had to give for a "family life" so to speak. He always seems so busy... always occupied, but does take time for me... I don't know. I sit back and watch his parents... and his dad is the same way.. but his mom is sooo unhappy. I don't want that to be me!!!! I just want my normal "settled down family life" that I'm used to! My ex that I do love wants all of this! About a week ago, I told A that I miss P. Yeah, that might not have been the best idea, but it was the truth for my distance/unhappiness. A really wants things to work for us tho... and I don't want to hurt him. I've always put others' feelings first... but what about mine? I am so lost and confused. P has waited for me for the last 4 months. I feel that if i don't take the chance now, that opportunity may be gone. Do I let A go and run to P with arms wide-open? and if so, how do I tell A? Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 We remember the good times, not the bad. Why did you stop seeing P in the first place? You've been off and on for a while now, guess how many relationships like that eventually settle down with everyone happy.... Link to post Share on other sites
HopefulOne Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 What is it that you want? Do you feel you love both of these men? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo_Lost In Love_xo Posted November 29, 2006 Author Share Posted November 29, 2006 I stopped seeing P because it seemed like i wanted more than he did... or he wasn't ready for it. I didn't know because he never showed his feelings.. Unlike now. I do love P and I want everything with him that he wants and is offering now. I feel in my heart that he is being sincere and his eyes and heart have really been opened. I love A but love and am IN LOVE with P. Right now, I want to be with P, but I really don't want to hurt A. Link to post Share on other sites
HopefulOne Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 I stopped seeing P because it seemed like i wanted more than he did... or he wasn't ready for it. I didn't know because he never showed his feelings.. Unlike now. I do love P and I want everything with him that he wants and is offering now. I feel in my heart that he is being sincere and his eyes and heart have really been opened. I love A but love and am IN LOVE with P. Right now, I want to be with P, but I really don't want to hurt A. We all hurt sometimes.... we don't like to hurt the people we love... I think you should follow your heart.. Sounds like you know what you already want... good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
gonetildecember Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 I agree with Hopeful One, it sounds like you know what you want to do. I know that A has treated you well and wants to try, but like you said you guys are different and if you feel you have a more valid future with P, then go for it. But be 100% with A if thats what you want, don't give him a half ass answer...he'll probably end up here with a post like "My ex is confused.. i want her back". The truth may hurt, but he'll appreciate it more in the end... and it will help him move on faster. In terms of P, be careful, someone else posted something about remembering only the good times. You said you broke up because you felt he wasn't ready for the family/future you wanted... is he really ready now.. or is he just jealous of A and desperate to get you back? I say guard your heart, you don't want to get hurt again... so give it some serious thought. BUT in this case, i think its okay to be SELFISH and go with what you want- because you're the one who will have to live with your decision in the long run right. Good luck with whatever you do... and I know you went NC with your ex.. in hopes of getting him back.. maybe things will turn out how you wanted them to in the end after all. Link to post Share on other sites
dr strangelove Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Know what? Ok heres what. I think you should let your heart guide you. Also I think theres a sign/ message in your post meant for me so..um not that I can explain but thanks, maybe..... Link to post Share on other sites
Author xo_Lost In Love_xo Posted November 30, 2006 Author Share Posted November 30, 2006 You are all so right. I know what is in my heart and what I feel is "right". I should go after what I want... but then I ask myself... Why haven't I gone yet? lol Love is crazy and very confusing sometimes. But really it makes me wonder if I'm not going yet because A is growing in my heart or because maybe I just know what my relationship was like at times with P... and maybe I'm scared. Good point by gonetildecember - Is P being sincere or is this just his way of getting me back out of desparation? I have asked myself that so many times. In my heart, I do feel that he is being sincere and things will be different. On the same note, I also don't want to end up the "Fool" so to speak. I came out of a rough divorce before P. When I started dating P, I put all of that behind me and gave him my all. I built my hopes and goals for a future around him and his family. I don't know. dr strangelove ... now you have me very curious!! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts