do I call him, and when?

[heyelisabeth]

I have certainly gotten myself in a sticky situation. Last night, I was heavily under the influence at a friend's apartment and somehow ended up sleeping with a guy I had met only hours before. Now, granted, we had chemistry between us and were attracted to each other, I don't know what to do now. He gave me his number, and I gave him mine, and he implied that he wanted to see me again, under more appropriate circumstances. (no promises as to the accuracy of the number I wrote down though) Am I being naive even trying to make something more of this? Should I wait for him to call, or should I call him and when? Maybe someone out there has been through something like this before and actually did the right thing and can tell me what that is.

[velvet]

I think it's strange that you come here asking what to do when clearly the only answer is to do what you want to do.

 

Either you had a one night stand or you didn't. What do you want out of it? Do you want to call this person and get to know him or do you leave things the way they are? It's all a matter on what you want to do.

 

Could it be that your afraid of rejection if you try to contact him? If you want to call, don't let nothing stop you. There is only one way to find out if there is anything more and thats to call. He may be asking himself the very same questions you have. You could wait to see if he attempts to reach you over the next few weeks.

 

There is no reason not to call him sometime unless you only wanted what you had btw the two of you to be all. If you do want to reach out to him again than keep his number handy. Store it in your phone and if you haven't used it in a couple months delete it.

[Tony T]

Wait for him to call...but I wouldn't make too much of it either.

 

When you're heavily under the influence, most often things appear and feel a lot better than they really are.

 

If you're looking for a nice love relationship, do it under more sober circumstances.

 

I don't have many good things to say about a man who takes sexual advantage of a woman who has had too much to drink. She is not in a state of mind to give proper consent.

 

If he had known you for a long time, I would feel a lot better about it but you had just met the guy a few hours earlier. This had nothing to do with feelings or making love...it was pure, raw sex and nothing more.

 

And nothing wrong with raw sex if you had a good time...but there is no basis to expect anything more from this encounter.

[clia]

Don't call him.

 

If he wants to pursue something with you, trust me, he will call you. Then and only then can you decide whether or not this is going anywhere. This relationship does not exist until he calls.

[heyelisabeth]

Thanks for all of the very honest advice (and the reality check). I will probably just wait for him for a few weeks, in the interest of not playing games, or getting too worked up over this.

I really came here for advice because I wasn't sure what to make of things at all. If I hadn't done what I did with him, I would have called him by now, because I would like to have gotten together with him, and have seen if things would work for the possibility of dating. But, now, I feel like I have waived my right to do that- it would be awkward to recover from having "raw sex" to learning more about a person over dinner, for example. I'm almost certain he is thinking the same things, either that or he just forgot about it and left it as a one night stand. I suppose one of us will have to communicate whatever we need to, to the other eventually, because it is likely we will see each other again through mutual friends.

 

Thanks Again,

 

Liz

[kdawn]

Liz,

 

Call him. That is totally lame not to. You may be passing up a good thing b/c you got carried away. Tell him exactly what you just said and see if he feels the same way. Worst case, he blows you of. Better that not knowing. Risk it!

[heyelisabeth]

Well, it looks like things are going better already. He actually contacted me two days later, and we have been talking every day since. He even apologized, because he felt guilty about it, and said he felt like he took advantage of me, and never wanted to do that.

So, we are going out tonight- wish me luck! Hopefully this will work out ok, even though we started out on the wrong foot!

[velvet]

I'm glad to hear that he called. Even if things don't work out in the long run at least you can say you tried. Have fun, and play a little hard to get!