Guest Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Here is the deal? My gf and I broke up once back in may, got back together in july and went real fast, and broke up again in october. We went through a couple weeks of drama, but now we are in contact and wanting to be friends to take is slow and see where it goes. We have hung out quite a bit during these past couple weeks, but the problem is that I keep bringing up the relationship and how it will be different. She keeps telling me to drop it and to go on with the present and accept the fact that she is working on the relationship by hanging out with me. FOr some reason it is not enough for me, I am having a really hard time accepting the fact that we are just hanging out as friends. But the problem is she is telling me that things will be ok if I show her she can trust me as a friend and that if I just slow down that things will be ok, that she just needs time. I am having a really hard time listening to her, what can I do to just listen to her and go with the flow. I just keep wanting more. SHe is giving me chances left and right, but I keep pressuring her away, but then she comes back? WHAT SHOULD I DO TO SALVAGE THIS FRIENDSHIP TO TURN INTO A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN? We both know that we have a future together if we take is slow and take our time and really work on our friendship, we have talked about family in the future having a child together, but she needs to see me change for myself first. what are some steps I can take to do this....PLEASE HELP Link to post Share on other sites
Lisa32 Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 Why don't you just relax? What is your rush anyway? relationships/love is a friendship caught on fire. What more do you want from this girl? The girl is giving you a chance and she's being your friend, hanging out with you. She's willing to take it slow, so it slowly progresses and she can trust it. I don't understand what the problem is. What is wrong with you subconsciously, that you're panicked to lock this girl in right away? This is something to do with you, that you need to figure out. If you're rushing this girl, then you're not in love, you're obsessed. True love is a calm, secure feeling...not this "I gotta have it now...hurry up and want to be committed now or I'll die." If you keep pushing, you'll lose this girl. Then you'll have nothing and no one to blame but yourself. Quit the pressure while you're ahead...or you'll be in tears soon. Get a grip on your emotions and chill out. Don't call her everyday, don't try to see her everyday. Don't get mad if she doesn't return your call right away. It's very attractive in a male when they're not too pushy or too available. Link to post Share on other sites
bhobel Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 hey thank you, i know this and i needed someone else to tell me... i have to not be so available...thank you for the advice. she is giving me all the chances in the world and I am throwing them in the garbage because i want i want i want. i am being so selfish its unreal. anyways thanks again i needed a female perspective. thank you brian Link to post Share on other sites
bhobel Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 what if she is the one who wants to hang out, not all the time, but a few days in a row. not a lot of time mostly at night? Link to post Share on other sites
pjammer Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Dude, just take it ONE DAY AT A TIME...I wish I was in a situation similar to yours, where I atleast had a glimer of hope of getting my ex back, but that isnt the matter here. Take it slow, what is your rush? Give it a couple of months, and see where the 2 of you are at. If you are having fun, getting along, etc., then it may be a good sign to get back together. If I have learned anything from what I have gone through, it is to take it one day at a time. Things tend to work themselves out. But you have to be completely honest with your intentions with her. Link to post Share on other sites
xo_Lost In Love_xo Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 You really have to slow down! Whatever you do, do not be pushy with her! She is opening her heart and doing what she can to heal and move forward - she obviously loves you, but these things take time and space. She will go thru ups and downs. In other words, whe will want to spend time with you one day and maybe not the next. Trust me... I am the ex gf going thru this exact situation. As a matter of fact, when i read your post, it was as i was reading about me and my ex! I had to look back up at the dates of reconciliation to make sure it wasn't! All I can say is this: I know my ex loves me and we went thru alot of back and forth for a while like you two have. I finally started dating someone else, that was an awesome guy.. but I still loved the ex. Now I've been attempting to be "friends" with the ex to see how things are/would be. He is just being soooo pushy, which is honestly pushing me away and back in the other direction. My feelings have become like a roller coaster. If he would just let things be, be my friend, and give me my own space to live my life, maybe things would work for us. Just slow down. Link to post Share on other sites
bhobel Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 well i thought i slowed down, then she decided to ignore me, straight up and then i tried to contact her and she felt i was being pushy and i think i pushed her away for good, she said she cant do this and I was being too much what she did not want. SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i feel like ****.... i treated her like a princess the past month, a princess.... and then she does this, i know she is looking out for herself and i guess i was not doing that for myself. last night she just said no more.... i cant do this, just let me hang up the phone, she said i was not giving her her space, which is total bs.... and i guess in her eyes i was not. but hey life goes on again... i will rise again.... Link to post Share on other sites
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