Will I ever get over the miscarriage?

[Sassy]

Has anyone ever went through a miscarriage before? I can't seem to get out of this funk. It has been two weeks today since I miscarried my special angel. I am exercising and doing what I normally do. I just can't seem to get my energy back and very emotionally. I am having headaches and not sleeping very well at night. My dr says this is normal and just wish my body would go back to the way things was. I usually go to lunch with my daughter on Fridays and when she asked am I coming tomorrow and told her I didn't know. I have to take each day by day. I was looking at the week that would have been in last night and I just cried. I would be 11 weeks Saturday had I not miscarried. I go to the dr on December 12th to be checked maybe they can reassure me again this is normal. My SO isn't dealing with it like I am . I feel like something is wrong with me.

[Art_Critic]

Has anyone ever went through a miscarriage before?

 

So Sorry for your loss Sassy.. I kinda know how hard it can be.. My ex wife and I when we were married lost a child to a miscarriage at almost 4 months..

 

Hugs to you and your husband..

 

Make sure you talk to him about how it hurts you and how you feel about losing your special angel..

I think it really helps the healing to talk about it to your spouse.. even if he doesn't want to talk then you need to tell him how you feel.

 

More hugs to you

[KittenMoon]

My SO isn't dealing with it like I am .

 

It was your body. As a woman, you are more hard-wired to be emotionally attached to offspring. I remember seeing a video of some sort of monkey/chimp a wildlife preserve took when she gave birth too early and carried the fetus around with her for weeks. They finally had to sedate her and take it away. It was heartbreaking.

 

It's only been two weeks. You need more time than that to recover.

 

Try not to think of the miscarriage as a child- but do think of the soul as one if that helps. Miscarriages are a part of nature, sadly. Your fetus may simply have had something about it that wasn't developing correctly.

 

My personal belief is that no soul cannot be destroyed, even if the body is. A soul simply moves on to the next physical form waiting for it. Your angel cannot be lost, and your love is admirable and touching.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

[CrushedOrgans]

 

My personal belief is that no soul cannot be destroyed, even if the body is. A soul simply moves on to the next physical form waiting for it. Your angel cannot be lost, and your love is admirable and touching.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

that was beautiful, kittenmoon.

 

so sorry for your loss, sassy. i did have a miscarriage, but i'm one of those people who found it a blessing because i really was not ready, so i can't say i know how you feel--but i can tell you i did feel pretty out of sorts for a month or two afterward. i know that sounds terrible. but as you can see, everyone deals with things differently...including your SO.

 

it might help to talk to someone about it, someone you don't have any expectations of. maybe you can call your doctor and ask if they have a recommendation for this kind of situation.

 

good luck, and chin up. there is a reason for everything, and i am sure one day you will have a beautiful, healthy child who will obviously be very wanted and loved.

[Sassy]

So Sorry for your loss Sassy.. I kinda know how hard it can be.. My ex wife and I when we were married lost a child to a miscarriage at almost 4 months..

 

Hugs to you and your husband..

 

Make sure you talk to him about how it hurts you and how you feel about losing your special angel..

I think it really helps the healing to talk about it to your spouse.. even if he doesn't want to talk then you need to tell him how you feel.

 

More hugs to you

 

Thanks AC . I have been telling him how I feel. I have cried and got mad all the feelings. I didn't let them do a D&C . I went home to pass it on my own. I wanted to see what it. I did get to see it and it wasn't formed. My SO wanted to see and that is what he confirmed. It stopped growing and then died. The drs said that when you miscarry before 20 weeks that it is something to do with the fertilization . We know i ovulated late so I think that is what happened. I know it is nothing I did but still hard. I am afraid that when we start trying again it will be hard for him since he hasn't grieved. He tells me that he has to be strong. I know it bothered him and he was upset but he hasn't showed it to me yet. Hugs to you and your ex loss as well. I know we can have a sucessful pregnancy cause we have a 7 yr old daughter that is healthy. They looked at everything and said my ovaries and uterus looked good no reason why we can't conceive again and have a healthy pregnancy. They said it was nature's way of taking it cause it wasn't developing right.

[Sassy]

It was your body. As a woman, you are more hard-wired to be emotionally attached to offspring. I remember seeing a video of some sort of monkey/chimp a wildlife preserve took when she gave birth too early and carried the fetus around with her for weeks. They finally had to sedate her and take it away. It was heartbreaking.

 

It's only been two weeks. You need more time than that to recover.

 

Try not to think of the miscarriage as a child- but do think of the soul as one if that helps. Miscarriages are a part of nature, sadly. Your fetus may simply have had something about it that wasn't developing correctly.

 

My personal belief is that no soul cannot be destroyed, even if the body is. A soul simply moves on to the next physical form waiting for it. Your angel cannot be lost, and your love is admirable and touching.

 

I hope you feel better soon.

 

Thanks Kitten for that I needed that . That was really nice what you said so sweet .

[Sassy]

that was beautiful, kittenmoon.

 

so sorry for your loss, sassy. i did have a miscarriage, but i'm one of those people who found it a blessing because i really was not ready, so i can't say i know how you feel--but i can tell you i did feel pretty out of sorts for a month or two afterward. i know that sounds terrible. but as you can see, everyone deals with things differently...including your SO.

 

it might help to talk to someone about it, someone you don't have any expectations of. maybe you can call your doctor and ask if they have a recommendation for this kind of situation.

 

good luck, and chin up. there is a reason for everything, and i am sure one day you will have a beautiful, healthy child who will obviously be very wanted and loved.

 

Thanks Crushed . I am sorry for your loss as well. Hugs to you!! I know that everything happens for a reason but it is still hard. I am blessed to have had this special angel growing inside me . Even if it was 3mths. I have a 7yr old daughter and know that when God wants to give us another one he will.This child was very wanted and loved. It just wasn't growing like it should.

[2sunny]

Sassy, I am sooooo so, sorry.

 

We, as a family, are still trying to get over the loss of my niece.

 

She was due any day - but the umbilical chord got wrapped around her thigh so tightly that it cut off her life support. My sister in law still had to deliver her - knowing she would be stillborn. They had to then plan the funeral.

 

None of it is ever easy, I am deeply sad for your heart.

 

M-

[persistant]

Sassy-You know me as another name on LS. Incognito.

 

(I want to share with you not as a complete stranger so remember I am someone you are familiar with)

 

I lost a child at 18 1/2 weeks. I did have a DNC. My body wasn't passing on its own.

My child was almost fully developed. She would have fit in the palm of my hand at 18-19 weeks.

 

I'm going to share a little story with you based on true events in my life--

 

In 1995 I took a religous pilgrimage to Europe. Before going I went to confession

so

my soul would be clean for this journey.

At the end of the second day at our destination my mother suggested she and I go to confession in which, I told her I went the day before we left

so

I didn't need to go again. She encouraged me to go because it is said that to receive absolution in this special place is very freeing.

 

Reluctantly, I went into the confessional and I told the preist in it that I had gone before coming and I didn't know what I was suppose to say. I explained that my mother wanted me come in

so

thats why I sat there.

 

He asked me about my 2 day experience there and I shared what I could with him. He then announced that I was called to name my child I lost. I looked at him confused because I didn't understand what he was talking about. He told me that I had lost a child and that child needs a name.

 

I looked at dumbfounded and he said that he was being told that I had lost a child and that he sensed it was recent and I said 'NO' 'I lost a child in 1988. He looked at me in awe and amazement because the vibes he was getting was it was a recent miscarriage to which I had not had any since 1988.

 

He told me that my child exhisted and still exhists in spirit. My child is with me always and looks over me. He told me to name my child and I told him I didn't know if it was a boy or a girl. He said, 'what does your heart say?' to which I replied that my husband and I always felt it was a girl. He requested me to name her to which I declared if we had a little girl we were going to name her "Arianna Marie". He announced that I had named my child and that I should acknowledge her as my daughter with a name.

 

I felt

so

liberated from the guilt of losing her at that moment.

Acknowlding her, giving her a name made me feel whole again.

It took 7 years for me to be set free of the sorrow, sadness, guilt, and regret of losing my daughter. I can't understand what it was but accepting her and naming her made her real and I know she is with me always. She is my daughter and I DO BELIEVE that one day I will be reunited with her.

 

She is my angel. When my son was little I told him about his big sister and that she is with him too always. I told him that he will never be alone because she is his angel and she stands next to him along with his gardian angel.

 

Sassy, maybe acknowledging your child exhists, naming him/her (your heart knows if it was a boy/girl), and loving him/her from your heart in a spiritual way will help you accept your physical loss.

 

Because he/she is physically gone doesn't mean they aren't with you spiritually. Each year on the day of my loss I celebrate my daughters birthday. I remember her and I send lots of love to her from my heart.

 

I believe she knows. I believe she sees. I beleive she hears.

I believe one day she and I will be reunited by Gods loving grace.

 

I cried tears of joy when I named her. I was released from my burden and pain. The blame I layed on myself was lifted. I was free and I know that it wasn't my fault why I didn't give birth to her and get to raise her. She would be graduating this year (2007). I have a special angel who is with me always. I wont have to worry about empty-nest syndrome with her because she is always spiritually with me... She is apart of me not just of flesh and blood but of my spirit too.

 

I hope you will name your child too. He/She deserves that acknowledgement. Let your tears and pain be lifted with tears of joy and love.

 

Many many hugs...

[blind_otter]

Hey sassy. I miscarried at 11 weeks and at 15 weeks, twice in a row in the space of two years.

 

You do get over it. It takes time. Anniversaries are hard. I named my children to get closure, and when people ask if I've ever had kids I always say, yes but none are still living -- because to me, they did exist. I saw my second baby born, in the bathroom of the emergency room waiting room.

 

It will get better. Your horomones are on a let down right now. Grieve as you would the loss of anyone in your life, it's OK to have these feelings.

 

If you need someone to vent to, please feel free to PM me. I hope things get better.

 

Also, men don't deal well with miscarriages, especially early ones. It can take some men a while to develop an attachment to the idea of the baby (some, not all -- some men get attached right away). My exH didn't understand the depth of my grief.

 

Also, losing the baby at 11 weeks was somewhat harder, emotionally, than at 15 for some reason. I think it has to do with the horomones.

 

Anyways, stay strong.

[Sassy]

Sassy, I am sooooo so, sorry.

 

We, as a family, are still trying to get over the loss of my niece.

 

She was due any day - but the umbilical chord got wrapped around her thigh so tightly that it cut off her life support. My sister in law still had to deliver her - knowing she would be stillborn. They had to then plan the funeral.

 

None of it is ever easy, I am deeply sad for your heart.

 

M-

 

I am sorry for your loss too! That would be hard to deliver a baby and it was stillborn. I Thank God mine happen the way it did. We suffered a loss of a baby when i was pregnant with my daughter. My brothers baby was born at 26 wks and she was 1pd 5 oz and lived 72 hrs but she died on the third day.She was so tiny but active and after they gave her the morphine she stopped breathing. She would be 7 today had she lived. That was really hard being pregnant and bury a baby . I was due 2 weeks after she died. I was having contractions when we was dealing with that. I always hoped that I never would endure that but I have and it is harder than I ever expected. We are going to try again when we are ready. I will always wonder how the baby would look and what it would have grown up to be. We think it was a girl but you couldn't tell I was only 3mths. My SO thought it from the day we found out. The baby stopped growing and had been dead for 2wks before my body showed signs. They said its gestation was 7wks and I was 9wks from the measurement on the ultrasound. It didn't ever form its arm buds or leg buds. If it would have survived it probably would have had deformaties. It still was blessing to have that little one to grow inside me even for a short while . What a special angel I had .This has been the hardest thing to endure in life .

[Sassy]

Thanks Blind and Persistant(Incognito). I don't want to use the girl name I had cause when we decide to have another and if it is a girl I want to use that name to represent her. I know in my heart it was a girl. We are going to try again. My SO was very much attached to this child like our first. He was sick having headaches,cravings. He was so emotionally connected to this baby with the pregnancy that he drove me crazy calling me throughout the day. I know he meant well and I never told him just went with it . When I started spotting he said that the baby was fine and I worried too much even when I went to the hospital. He said I was being paranoid. I knew what was happening he was so in denial till he seen the baby on the ultrasound with no heart beat. He didn't get to go with me to see the first ultrasound with the heart beat . I had all the symptoms of pregnancy even though the baby was dead and didn't know it. It was weird when they told me no heart beat. I felt this little girl growing from day one. Alot of movement was going on and still couldn't believe it was gone.

[Sassy]

Hey sassy. I miscarried at 11 weeks and at 15 weeks, twice in a row in the space of two years.

 

You do get over it. It takes time. Anniversaries are hard. I named my children to get closure, and when people ask if I've ever had kids I always say, yes but none are still living -- because to me, they did exist. I saw my second baby born, in the bathroom of the emergency room waiting room.

 

It will get better. Your horomones are on a let down right now. Grieve as you would the loss of anyone in your life, it's OK to have these feelings.

 

If you need someone to vent to, please feel free to PM me. I hope things get better.

 

Also, men don't deal well with miscarriages, especially early ones. It can take some men a while to develop an attachment to the idea of the baby (some, not all -- some men get attached right away). My exH didn't understand the depth of my grief.

 

Also, losing the baby at 11 weeks was somewhat harder, emotionally, than at 15 for some reason. I think it has to do with the horomones.

 

Anyways, stay strong.

 

So sorry for your losses Blind! How did you make it through with two? I was only 9wks couldn't imagine being that far . Hugs to you! :love:

[JackJack]

Sorry for your loss sassy. My g/f suffered a miscarriage back before I met her, so I can't really tell you that I can relate as far as being on the male's receiving end of it. But I do know from my g/f's experience with it, it will take time. 2 weeks is not long enough. You need to greive, its natural and a healthy part of life. Make sure you get out when you can, and try to keep yourself busy as much as possible.

[blind_otter]

So sorry for your losses Blind! How did you make it through with two? I was only 9wks couldn't imagine being that far . Hugs to you! :love:

 

No, sassy -- hugs to YOU! You need them now.

 

there's a great song that got me through the hard times called "Only a Woman's Heart" by Mary Black.....

 

women are equipped with a special emotional strength, I think, when it comes to these things. We can and do survive in the face of such a sad loss -- the loss of something that could have been.

 

My babies were named Aislin and Damian. They were born on August 28, 2002 and December 4, 2004. Rest in peace my angel babies.

 

My nephew told me when he was only 4 years old that the angel babies get the chance to be born again first.....

[PandorasBox]

I'm so sorry sassy. I tried to PM you a few days ago but didn't hear back from you. I have a website about support for families dealing with miscarriages. I'm not sure if we can put website links on here or not, but if you would like that site,feel free to PM. There is also a section for men and how theydeal and the different ways they cope as well.

[Sassy]

I'm so sorry sassy. I tried to PM you a few days ago but didn't hear back from you. I have a website about support for families dealing with miscarriages. I'm not sure if we can put website links on here or not, but if you would like that site,feel free to PM. There is also a section for men and how theydeal and the different ways they cope as well.

 

Sorry didn't get any pm from you!!

[PandorasBox]

Sorry didn't get any pm from you!!

 

 

I checked in my sent box and it was sent on the 27th. Anyway, let me know if you would like that website. Hang in there.

[Sassy]

I checked in my sent box and it was sent on the 27th. Anyway, let me know if you would like that website. Hang in there.

 

I don't know what happened never received anything.

[quankanne]

sassy, I'm really sorry to hear your news, I can only imagine how excited you were about your little one joining the family – my nephew and his wife lost their baby maybe about a month after she confirmed the pregnancy, I think it was 10-12 weeks, and it hit the both of them pretty hard. I knew that miscarriages happened more often in the early days, but I didn't realize that it was due to problems with fertilization.

 

not sure what will give you closure, because the kids are still grieving their baby, who they waited a long time before trying to start a family, but I'll tell you what I told them: Know that your little one brought a lot of love and joy to your family while he or she was able to be with you, and that's no small thing.

 

hugs to all you moms who've had to cope with this pain,

q

[Sassy]

sassy, I'm really sorry to hear your news, I can only imagine how excited you were about your little one joining the family – my nephew and his wife lost their baby maybe about a month after she confirmed the pregnancy, I think it was 10-12 weeks, and it hit the both of them pretty hard. I knew that miscarriages happened more often in the early days, but I didn't realize that it was due to problems with fertilization.

 

not sure what will give you closure, because the kids are still grieving their baby, who they waited a long time before trying to start a family, but I'll tell you what I told them: Know that your little one brought a lot of love and joy to your family while he or she was able to be with you, and that's no small thing.

 

hugs to all you moms who've had to cope with this pain,

q

 

Thanks Quakanne! My daughter that is seven said she was mad at me cause I caused the baby to die. That really hurt me. I told her it was noone's fault it just wasn't growing and died. Anytime a pregnancy ends in miscarriage before 20 wks it is something genetically wrong. That is what the drs told me. They said nothing I did caused it. My thoughts and prayers are with your family as well. Hugs to you all

[Teacher's Pet]

Sassy...

 

My heart goes out to you.

 

As someone who lost a child to miscarriage (about 8 years ago), I know what you are going through.

 

Obviously, as the "expectant father", my story is a little different, but the pain is the same nonetheless. For me, the real pain didn't set in until about 5 years after it happened, when I realized that the miscarriage didn't just cost me my child, it sent my (then) relationship into such a spiral that it could never recover.

 

To this day, I always wonder about what "might have been", but you can't go back.

 

Many people have told me that a miscarriage, many times, is your body's way of protecting YOU from harm. I'm not an expert on these things, but nature has a way of playing with our bodies, hearts, and minds, and still.... it goes on.

 

My heart goes out to you and your family. Be strong, and don't let this affect your desire to bring another child into this world. You will.

 

*hugs*

 

-tp

smiling next to you, in silent lucidity.

[Sassy]

Sassy...

 

My heart goes out to you.

 

As someone who lost a child to miscarriage (about 8 years ago), I know what you are going through.

 

Obviously, as the "expectant father", my story is a little different, but the pain is the same nonetheless. For me, the real pain didn't set in until about 5 years after it happened, when I realized that the miscarriage didn't just cost me my child, it sent my (then) relationship into such a spiral that it could never recover.

 

To this day, I always wonder about what "might have been", but you can't go back.

 

Many people have told me that a miscarriage, many times, is your body's way of protecting YOU from harm. I'm not an expert on these things, but nature has a way of playing with our bodies, hearts, and minds, and still.... it goes on.

 

My heart goes out to you and your family. Be strong, and don't let this affect your desire to bring another child into this world. You will.

 

*hugs*

 

-tp

smiling next to you, in silent lucidity.

 

Oh most definitely we will try again! We have a 7 yr old daughter and know that we can produce a healthy child. Something was wrong with it and it was natures way. I am so sorry for your loss with your child and marriage. I feel that the old saying "That what does not kill us makes us stronger" I firmly believe it. It makes us realize just how precious life is and what a miracle is to be pregnant.