Does he want to cheat on his girlfriend?

[That_girl]

I have a co-worker/friend who is sometimes flirtacious with me, although I am certain that he has a girlfriend...whom he lives with. We've been flirty ever since we started working together, and developed a friendship based on similar interests and common goals. I think he's been flirting because he's always being sarcastic, and making fun of me the way a 6 year old schoolboy with a crush would. A few other people that work with us told me that they think he likes me. lol anyway, they have also told me that he mentioned his girlfriend to them a few times, but out of the year that we've worked together, he's never mentioned her to me. However, he has mentioned his "roommate". Whenever he talks about her, (hardly ever) he calls her his "roommate"! For example, one time he complimented me on my outfit and said that his roommate had a similar sweater. He seems to notice everytime I do something different with my hair or makeup. Just wondering if this has any implications on how he feels towards me, not that I would ever consider going after him- especially being that he's taken. I just want to know because I think it would be a bad idea to keep talking to him in case he thinks I might feel the same way. I don't wanna have any weird situations because I really do like him as a friend, we have great conversations and alot of fun working together.

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. Just wondering if this has any implications on how he feels towards me,

2. not that I would ever consider going after him- especially being that he's taken.

3. I just want to know because I think it would be a bad idea to keep talking to him in case he thinks I might feel the same way.

 

1. He wants to sleep with you. He is minimizing his relationship to you, he flirts with you, etc. He enjoys the attention you give him, and he enjoys giving it to you.

 

2. Good! Remember that, and keep telling yourself that.

 

3. You flirt back, so of course he thinks you feel the same way. If you kept it strictly business, with no flirting whatsoever, with just casual businessplace conversations like you might have with your other coworkers - then he would know that you don't feel the same way. Unfortunately, you've already sent him available and receptive signals (guys are pretty simple that way - if they flirt with you, and you flirt with them they don't think of you as a 'friend' they think of you as a potential lay regardless of whatever common interests, etc you might share - once the flirting starts, any chance at a genuine friendship is over), so proceed with caution.

 

If you do not want this escalating into something inappropriate, then you may as well cool it down now. Stop flirting - flirting does not equal friendship. I'm quite sure your interest in friendship is one sided anyway. Tell him that since he has a girlfriend, that you do not want to cross any more lines: and that means NO more flirty behavior, etc. Do not offer to be 'just friends' - simply make it clear that you are not interested and leave it at that.

[That_girl]

Thanks for the reply. i agree that perhaps he might be getting the wrong signals from me, but I don't really see how. We don't talk about anything really personal, just stuff like movies and politics. That's why I was wondering why he wouldn't just say "my girlfriend"- being that this is strictly a platonic relationship. The only reason I say he is flirting is because I just a vibe..and some things he has said 'once in a blue moon'. I don't know..I know it sounds like I want more than friendship..and I would IF he didn't have a girlfriend. But I do like him as a person and as a casual work buddy- I just don't want things to get weird as he is one of the only people I get along with at work, and can actually have a conversation with over lunch. Thanks for the imput though- If it is true that his only interest is to sleep with me, than he's obviously not as great as I thought he was.