Friend?

[Guest]

I wonder if she ever feels stressed with two guys calling her at the same time. She often makes me get off the phone inorder to talk to him. I wonder if she ever gets off the phone with him in order to talk to me? She is making more and more time for him these days. She talks to him almost everyday. For up to an hour often.

 

He doesn't know that she is engaged. I doubt he even knows I exist. I don't understand why if he is just a "friend" If it isn't a sometimes physical affair it certainly feels like an emotional affair. Yet she says she wants to be with me. Why do I continue to be with a women who is so heavily invested in another man? Is it ok for a SO to have SUCH a good male friend that she needs to talk to him everyday? What am I for then? I am confused.

[norajane]

Have you asked her why you haven't been introduced to this friend she spends so much time with on the phone? How long has she known this guy?

 

I have male friends, but they always get introduced to my SO and certainly hear about him all the time!

[Rooster_DAR]

I wonder if she ever feels stressed with two guys calling her at the same time. She often makes me get off the phone inorder to talk to him. I wonder if she ever gets off the phone with him in order to talk to me? She is making more and more time for him these days. She talks to him almost everyday. For up to an hour often.

 

He doesn't know that she is engaged. I doubt he even knows I exist. I don't understand why if he is just a "friend" If it isn't a sometimes physical affair it certainly feels like an emotional affair. Yet she says she wants to be with me. Why do I continue to be with a women who is so heavily invested in another man? Is it ok for a SO to have SUCH a good male friend that she needs to talk to him everyday? What am I for then? I am confused.

 

This is a huge red flag, and it sounds to me she is about to do a U turn on you. My recent EX did this to me twice, the first time I caught her and intervened before it went too far. This last time I could do nothing because she was already into an affair with this guy by the time I discovered her talking to him all the time.

 

Could be innoucuos, but I really doubt it.

[Guest]

Well, it is me again (guest). Long list of stuff I choose to ignore because I wanted to believe her. I could start from the beginning, just to make an interesting read.

1) She lied about her cell phone saying it was from her mom, when it was her ex-bf who was paying for it. It being her mom's was the reason I wasn't supposed to call it.

2) SHe would hide the cell phone in her pillow at night or other places because he called it so much.

3) I finally found out about the cell phone and then she lost it. THat seemed to work, but then I noticed she was buying lots of prepaid calling cards, even though I bought her a cell phone to use myself.

4) WHile living together but before being engaged she lied to me about have to do something and went to visit him in hotel rooms out-of-state.

5) After being engaged, she did the same thing, but I caught her and told her that I wanted her to have no contact with this ex. She agreed.

6) She just did it again tonight. She was going out to by presents and then to a party for school. But actually, she went to another town and met him at a hotel room.

7) He is a married man whom she while she was previously married on an affairs (married folks looking to cheat) website.

8) She had been lying to him about my existence.

9) She hasn't told any of her family we are engaged.

 

Seems like I have a long enough list of reasons to never see this woman again.

[goodfriendeva]

oh wow.. you need to sit her down an have a serious talk.. no BSing this.. have it flat out.. oh god i would of bitched if my hubby was doing that when we were dating.. by the 2 2nd one you listed if he didnt get it in his head thats its wrong it would of been over before it had even started

 

get a backbone man and set your foot down with this crap.. enough is enough.. i sure hope her relationship is nothing more then a close friendship..

 

sorry

[Curmudgeon]

You shouldn't need to hear it from us. You don't have an engagement. You have a sham and debaukle. I would hope you have more pride than to put up with this. You don't need it, or her.

[Sand&Water]

RE:

 

Seems like I have a long enough list of reasons to never see this woman again.

 

Yes. 9 Red Flags for any man to walk -actually run, away from this woman. You don't need a 10th Red Flag to seal the deal.

 

It is best you talk to her to gain a little bit of understanding/perspective. With or without her final words, you should move on [and break the engagement].

 

Good Luck.

Sand&Water

[Wantingtogetitright]

she has no respect for marriage, she was having an affair whilst married last time. Why the hell are you even thinking about this. It is as clear as the nose on your face. Break off the engagement, kick her out of the house, or you move out whichever is the most appropriate and have no further contact with this user.

[Guest]

he knows that i went to talk to the ex and tell the whole truth to put an end to all this. i was going to come home and we were going to be happy ever after. no one knows all the things that go on in our relationship, but i made big mistakes and almost ruined what was going to be our really happy family. we have kids and we've had issues lately that haven't been mentioned here. and except for these issues, we've made a loving happy house together and we've had some really really good times that neither of us wants to end. we just had a birthday, it was wonderful, we were going to have our first winter holiday together. I'm determined to do everything right from now on and i love him. and he loves me even though he will not say it out loud anymore.

 

i made a big mistake, haven't slept in two days, can't eat, nothing I'm very worried about losing him. took the kids to buy him presents today, just doing everything to make him happy again. now i admire and appreciate him more than before. I'm relieved that the truth came out and if we can go on from here is up to him, but we'll be the best family..i read the comments that people wrote, I'm worried for when he'll read them. this has been a total nightmare and all i care about is getting back what we had and going to fight for that.

[Guest]

I do believe she love mes. But I CAN'T be in a relationship with her if she is going to have the other man in her life. There has to be no contact EVER again. What more can I do? I love her too.

[hazelle]

So.. the guest is two people? Each member of the unhealthy relaitonship being discussed?

[WTF]

I as a male, I wound never do this to my SO without me expecting a frying pan upside the head.

 

Woman, you need to act right. And man, you concerns are valid.

 

You guys would not be here if it werent a BIG problem for ya