your odds

[Canuck2006]

I just read in another posting on another site that the chances of getting back together in a break up is 5 percent. That really is a downer. He also stated that most women won't take their ex back and have made up their minds and can't be changed. I'm a guy, I was dumped. Any insight on this and what do you think of those odds?

[D-Lish]

Well, I guess you have to look at something more concrete. For instance- For all the people who are in this break up forum with their stories....how often do you see someone saying "I got them back!"... not often.

 

Maybe it gels with the stats....because of the hundreds of posts I've read, I've only seen a few that talk about things working out.

In my life, I've known people that have broken up and gotten back together, but that is rare too.

 

I think the same thing applies to men- that once they have made up their minds, it's over and they wouldn't go back.

 

I betcha there are promising stats out there about people who have had their heart broken and went on to find love again. I'm pretty sure that percentage is rather high.

[BannaBee57]

Every story is different.

 

Has anyone ever thought about the fact that those people on this site that did get their ex back never returned and forgot about this site because they were out living life with their SO? I think about that when I don't see many "I got them back" posts. I'm sure it happens more than the posts say because the posters just don't post any more. Also, I've been reading A LOT of "my SO went back to their ex before me" type threads lately. So, it's happening...the happy people just aren't writing about it on LS.

 

Also, where does this 5% number come from? Did they do some sort of scientifc survey?

 

Like I said, every story is different...don't let random surveys get you down but don't let the thought of getting your ex back consume you either

[brisman]

Marriages are the most stable form of relationship and how many of those fail these days ? Somewhere between 30 and 50%.

 

That's *marriages*, after people have committed to spend the rest of their lives with each other.

 

So, consider all the relationships that don't make it as far as marriage, and how many relationships people will have throughout their lives.

 

I can certainly see that the failure probability for any one relationship is up over 90%.

[Eric102]

Their is no percentage for these things, just have to be mature about these things. You have to look in the other persons heart. What kind of a person she is. Some people cannot forgive themselves, not good relationship material. But how do u know that your not the one that will get your ex back. Just gota have faith, patience, and confidence women love it. Men need to have it.

[Eric102]

I like to add the younger you are the more chances their are for failure. But hey thas just life, relationships are a gamble now

[silentalways]

people must remember that if someone only wants you when u are confident and secure and don't support u during down times, what in the world is that all about. hey, i'll move mountains for my partner rain or shine and i will never allow something to taint who she is, and i expect the same - if they are not up to that that's ok with me. come on folks do people actually think that life is without ups and downs? maybe i'm strange that way.

[Canuck2006]

Silent, I understand what you are saying but sometimes there is situation in a relationship where it's too much for the other partner to handle and they have to get out. I'll give you an example..mine. I was suffering from major depression which lead to anger and frustration which lead to her getting scared and fear in her heart. I understand why she had to get out. I'm grateful that she did and thank her for it because it's what I needed to hit rock bottom and snap out of what was going on. So sometimes people can't be supportive as much as we'd like for their own health and happiness.

 

Second note..I just realized that nobody has any idea on the odds of second chances. You can't put odds on something like that. People may say 5%, maybe 30%..but none of us knows so it's not something worth thinking about.

 

Good luck in everyones pursuit to love yourself and the person 100% unconditionally. That's the only percentage you need to concentrate on.

[persistant]

Second chances do happen. I believe usually when there are unresolved feelings between the two people. I think betrayal, cheating, abuse, lies are some factors that don't warrant second chances. Other less damaging factors such as bad timing, misunderstandings, interferrence from outside people, lack of self esteem, lack of patience, lack of maturity all could create loose ends that warrant a possible second chance between two people.

 

I for one have a hard time going back to someone if I have been betrayed. Mostly in the form of cheating, severe lies, and bodily harm.

 

I am currently involved with a man I could say we are giving each other a second chance. Maybe he's giving me a 3rd or 4th chance. Whatever the number he knows and I know that I havent been level headed, I have had insecurity issues and neediness issues in my life to which I have reacted in ways that are not true to what I really want. He knows this about me. He is strong and has not let his hurt get in the way so far. You could say; he has forgiven me for my immaturity but hasn't forgotten.

 

I started to give my xbf a second chance but he wasn't able to take things slowly and I had to put the hault on him to which he didn't like and backed off from me. He still sits in the shadows waiting for me to come back to him. I do not feel at all in this present moment that I can let him back in my life. He has too much growing to do his behaviors right now are a huge turn-off and besides the man I am seeing right now has always kept my interest and is understanding of my immaturity and helps me grow.

 

Second chances can happen depending on the reason for the initial breakup and how understanding, forgiving and interested the two people are/where in one another. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder. (We need to let the fog and confusion of life lift in order for us to see what was in front of us.)

 

It takes two and if both arent on the same page and want the same thing then it WONT work and the persuer needs to back off, grieve, let go and move on.

[gfto]

I just read in another posting on another site that the chances of getting back together in a break up is 5 percent. That really is a downer. He also stated that most women won't take their ex back and have made up their minds and can't be changed. I'm a guy, I was dumped. Any insight on this and what do you think of those odds?

I'd put it at 0.01%. By that, I mean a situation where two people break up and then reignite the romance, maintain a mutually high interest level in each other and live happily ever after for at least 20 years; not where a woman temporarily "gets back together" with an ex for a little while because she's bored.

[Guest]

Sorry your life sucks so bad buddy. Thanks for bringing us all down with your crap outlook.

[Benji86]

I think that odds are fear expressed numerically. They give people who don't trust their judgement a meaningless number to hide behind. Dont trust them!