LITTLE THINGS about the FUTURE ====================

[Sally00]

I have a boyfriend of 9 1/2 months. We've been friends for over a year before that. We're in our early 20s.

 

We talk about marriage all the time and our future kids. However, little things about our future seem to clash. Like he wants dogs. I don't want slobbering pooping tearing things apart machines. He wants to be able to pee in the shower. I don't wanna shower in that. He wants to wear shoes in the house. I don't want whatever he stepped on outside (poop, mud, gum, etc.) all over the house. I know these are little things, but I can't stop thinking about it.

 

Is it too early to even be thinking about these kinds of things in the future? Should I worry about this way later? I really don't know if he's downright serious about that kinda stuff. I don't wanna surprise him and bring something like that up outta nowhere.

 

I know it's normal in a long term relationship to talk about the future. And compromise is important.

 

I'd just like to hear what you guys think. Thanks. : }

[lovelorcet]

Is it too early to even be thinking about these kinds of things in the future?

 

Maybe, but why the rush? you are still young and you are still going to change a lot.

 

Should I worry about this way later? I really don't know if he's downright serious about that kinda stuff. I don't wanna surprise him and bring something like that up outta nowhere.

 

You should consider more important things like similar goals in life and sexual compatibility.

 

I know it's normal in a long term relationship to talk about the future. And compromise is important.

 

9.5 months is still not very long at all. Peeing in the shower and dogs are normally not dealbreakers...

[Guest]

 

Is it too early to even be thinking about these kinds of things in the future?

 

Well what you're doing is figuring out if you're going to stay with him long-term or not. You could decide that you'll never marry him but will date him anyway but you'd need to discuss it.

 

I know it's normal in a long term relationship to talk about the future. And compromise is important.

 

Compromise doesn't mean agreeing to something you absolutely hate and then resenting it. It's sounding like you're a neat freak. If you're the type that obsesses about this stuff to the point where it disturbs you badly, then it's worth worrying about because it's the nitpicky stupid things that can ruin a relationship - when people have the sorts of temperaments that allow nitpicky stupid things to loom large.

 

Certainly before you join residences with anyone, you need to discuss all these sorts of things. It won't matter a bit if you both agree on world peace if every little thing he does in the house annoys you to no end.